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Milkie

I have a bigger journal on FA about this, but...

by
Maybe I'm a horrible person. I sit here and I watch people get gift art for free, seemingly for no reason, certainly not any reason like what I feel I should be getting things for. But... why do I feel I should get things? Why does it bother me? Why do I feel like I somehow deserve more?

... Why does art even matter this much to me?
Viewed: 57 times
Added: 6 years, 1 month ago
 
TheAmariaShadow
6 years, 1 month ago
oh, dear. wish i could answer those questions, bud.
Norithics
6 years, 1 month ago
As an actual horrible person, who has to try very hard every day to be a better one... no. No, you're not terrible for wanting consideration in return for your time, effort and money. It's very natural- almost nobody expects to give and get nothing in return unless they feel really guilty about something... and then that's what they're getting out of it.

Reading the other journal, it's pretty obvious you've sunk a lot of good will into other people. Well, good will has to come from somewhere, and it's not a bottomless pit- you're just finally running out of it. The worst thing you could do is to let it embitter you- just accept that those people are selfish and forgetful, and let them sort out their own problems. If they run into trouble and don't have someone like you to lean on, well, let that be a lesson to them.

You've commissioned me before, I've given you a good deal of art, and you've let my character be in a story with two of my very favorite characters of yours. I don't even feel like it's give-and-take anymore; more like we've just reached a point of creative over-unity where we can produce more and more by enjoying each others' ideas. I like that- it feels free of that sense of bartering and more like I'm pulling something from nothing just on good feelings.
Milkie
6 years, 1 month ago
Haha, well as usual you're right on several accounts. I don't tend to think you're a horrible person though... If you want to take that as a "good job, you hide it well," then you are free to do so.

I've said to lots of people... "If you want to draw my characters for fun, they are at your disposal." But never have I ever gotten the same sort of liberty. To use Nori in a story, and to be free to do so, and to do it well enough that you enjoy it... lifts a lot of the 'bartering' feeling from it all, you're quite right. You give me a lot, when you feel it to your fancy. I don't overlook that.

I'd be lying if writing for you didn't tend to the sense that I owe you. You could say I think people owe me, after all... I wouldn't want your work to seem unappreciated in any way. Thankfully, you accept what little I can do to show you I appreciate it - that I appreciate you.

When people invest themselves into something... well, investments ought to return, right?
Norithics
6 years, 1 month ago
I have to say, other than Chay, you're the only writer I have this kind of thing going on with. You have a great ability to tell a story with characters that people care about, and they're just fun to read! To be honest, when I found out that I'd get to be included, I was thrilled. It made me feel like it was my opportunity to be the de-facto illustrator of it, as well, which made me even more excited- when people thought of the story, they'd think of my pictures, and vice-versa. I know I'm probably not on anybody's short list for illustrating anything, so it just made it seem that much more special.
Milkie
6 years, 1 month ago
Well, free writing can't really afford to be picky for illustrators. x3

I'm plenty happy that you feel that way. Me and Chay being the only writers you have a thing going with is pretty expected though. There're less writers than there are illustrators, and fewer still who put forth a suitable effort into their writing, crafting it rather than dumping an idea onto a page.
nich0445
6 years, 1 month ago
a wise man once told me "give a man a fish and he'll have food for one day learn him to fish and he'll have food for the rest of his life" sure it's a good deed done there but what does the fisherman get in return?
i think it's just a period like when you feel all sleepy or something (i speak of experience i've had plenty of those) i would never consider it terrible if someone told me that he/she wanted something because of their hard work i might be a good artist or writer but i'm a musician so if it helps i'll try make a song for you (instrumental since i don't sing unless i find someone to sing)

all that being said i love the story so far simply love it
oh and thanks for the link you put on FA
Munashi
6 years, 1 month ago
Well I love your stories coupled with Nori's art and I'd totally draw some fanart for ya if I could draw at all... =\ I just color/shade though. <3
Eviscerator
6 years, 1 month ago
As a recreational gift-giver, I gotta say you learn pretty quick not to worry about receiving.  Hell, I think the only gift arts I ever received were from Norithics, and damned if I know why.

I'm still trying to figure a way to get even though. Mark my words.  I'll get him back.
Milkie
6 years, 1 month ago
I'm something of a recreational gift-giver too, when I can afford to be. Coincidentally, I'm a bit of a recreational idiot too. I wonder if perhaps those things are related.
Eviscerator
6 years, 1 month ago
As a novice cynic, I'd tend to say that they might just be.   then again, I just woke up a few minutes ago and am rather cranky!
JHelfrich
6 years, 1 month ago
I think it's just human nature to feel like you're missing out when someone else appears to get something for nothing and you're just spinning your wheels.  It's probably best not to focus on it because you could start to think "Why do these things always happen to me?" and only remember the bad times.  Like Nori said it can make you a bitter and resentful person and I've seen that create a negative feedback loop.  When you have a sour attitude, people can pick up on that and be less friendly and that just re-enforces your outlook on life.

Some people will take as much as they can get if you let them, it's best to try to stick with the true friends and people who reciprocate.  The difference between a friend who pays for your movie ticket and says you can pay him back whenever  or "you get dinner sometime." rather than "You owe me $12 next week."
Eviscerator
6 years, 1 month ago
Bitter and resentful...just how I like my coffee.
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