Let's just try to liven some things up a bit! Here's a story of awesomeness that actually happened. I actually damn near freaked out at the end. I originally wasn't going to tell this story, but... shit, whatever, huh? :D
Not too long ago, I got dragged somewhat reluctantly to an airshow. That was a total ruse, of course, because I love this stuff, I just have a reputation as a cantankerous git to defend.
It was about as awesome as you'd expect. I've definitely matured a little, because I was more gobsmacked by the maneuvers of the cargo planes than the jet fighters. I also got a snow-cone kind of thing, which was awesome enough for me to mention that.
The cool thing was that someone decided to buy me a helicopter ride. Yeah, they just did that. Here's the conversation, actually.
"Dude, you want a helicopter ride?" "Shit yeah, but I can't afford it." "So? We're going on a helicopter. You'll love it." "Oh. Okay."
Waiting for our turn, which took a little while, I got comfortable and rested in the nearest shade, trying to watch the fighters doing their thing in the sky, before I realized that I wasn't the only one moping about in the shade. A kid in a wicked fedora-style hat was sitting there, completely oblivious to the jets and awesomeness.
I figured there had to be some serious boredom there for a boy that age to not be at least a little interested in god damn fighter jets and that hat was exactly the one that my nephew has, so I asked him what was up, and suggested to him that he go check out the gun-tent if he was still waiting. Naturally, that perked him up, and I told him what weapons were on display.
We talked for a bit, and when the guys organizing the rides asked if I had anyone else to fit on the chopper with us, I tried to help the kid and his family skip the queue. Sadly, there were too many of them in total to fit. Ironically, they ended up right behind us anyway, so it didn't matter.
My rotary-winged aircraft cherry was popped, and I have to admit: I didn't panic and crap myself like I was worried I would. I don't know what it is, I just don't like helis. It might have something to do with the fact that they don't fly so much as lift themselves up and then fall forward; to me it's the aviation equivalent of a drunk staggering towards his car.
When we landed, I told my friends to go on ahead, as I was planning on offering to show the kid, his grandparents, and his sister where the guns were. I didn't even get to suggest it. The kid ran over, holding his wicked hat on (damn helicopters!) and we both enthused about how awesome the chopper ride was. He asked me to show him the gun tent, and because I'm not a creep, I said "sure, if your grandparents will come too."
As the unofficial tour-guide for this group, I walked them to the tent where the guns were on display. As expected, the kid nattered non-stop and I told him a little about the stuff we passed on the way, as well as other topics (can you believe he'd never played Counter Strike?!). I was actually quite surprised at how intelligent he was and easily he talked with me, and that's saying something. Taught him the difference between the ACOGs and other sights on some of the weapons mounted on the armoured vehicles, how to tell them apart. I talked with the granddad too, awesome bloke, great sense of humor - looked like a typical grandad, had no qualms about swearing. Awesome.
I had to show the kid how to actually hold the F-88 Austeyr because, naturally, his only experience with a rifle had been from video games, and I don't think I need to tell you how much crap games get wrong, including basic stance (fucking Call of Duty). I found it amusing how the carbine version was pretty much the perfect size for him - they should market the Steyr carbines to ten-year-olds.
What freaked me out though was, when I was demonstrating, an Airfield Defence Guard blinked at me. He frowned for a moment and said the most ego-boosting thing I've heard in ages: "Bloody hell, mate," he mumbled. "That's a perfect firing stance. You reserves or something?" So yeah. Woo! I can hold a gun right! Yay!
So ended up talking to the soldier (airman, technically, I know, shut up) for a few minutes, the kid practically staring at us in awe. I had a whole bunch of questions to ask, given I have no experience with bull-pup weapons. But that wasn't the stupidest point in the tale - I got irked and decided to actually show the little guy how to stand properly by putting him in position. As in, manually taking and placing his arms and legs in position, just like when I used to help teach a martial art. However, I asked first, of course, that's rule number one. The way I worded my question, however, was so atrocious that I had to wait twenty minutes to almost choke to death with laughter. I'm not going to say it here. It's too embarrassing.
When at last we were all done and it was time to go home, the kid sighed and said he had an awesome day. "Saw jets, held an assault rifle, got a helicopter ride and made a new friend!" When I pointed out we'd probably never meet again, he just sighed and said, "Yeah, I know. Hope I'll see you around someday." He seriously said that. We all shook hands, he asked what my name was, and I told him.
He told me that he got his sister to say his name over the helicopter's radio in the NATO military alphabet. You know, like "Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta" etc. He replicated it for me. I almost missed it at first.
"Wait, what?! Hang on, what's your name again?!"
Forget the hat, he had the same name as my nephew. Some of you know that my nephew does not have the most conventional or common of names, but this boy shared it down to the exact same spelling. Not only is that pretty crazy, but a few other coincidences with this almost made me absolutely freak out.
So that's another thing to add to the big list of creepy coincidences in the last few months. Yeesh. And yes, helicopters are cool. I've always liked watching them. From far, far away. I have to admit it's cool to be in one, as it lurches drunkenly through the sky (I don't care how good your pilot is, you still lurch!) and get such a good view of everything, but I don't know if that's worth the knowledge that you're sitting in a finicky bucket of 10,000 bits moving in a loose formation hundreds of feet off the floor.
Oh, on another, humorous, note. A friend of mine got tased by cops recently - for trying to perform first-aid on an assault victim. Police, before you rip that taser or gun out, make sure your target isn't a fucking paramedic and is in fact the guy doing the assaulting. Nice work!
Oh, and someone told me to listen to this song. I thought I'd share it, since I am trying to be uplifting here. It's nothing special at first, but it kind of grew on me for some reason, and it's nice and happy. It might be because the guy singing it clearly has been snorting amphetamines and his very movements are hypnotic. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=masmCmLPyxw
A few random images, for d'awws and giggles. It's like shits and giggles only better.