Yeah It's Been Quiet....I Suppose

So for months I was hung up.
For months I was putting my whole heart into something that eventually went awry.
I asked for nothing more then time.
Every day that passed I got more desperate for that time I needed.
Sure I got a little crazy, but I AM a little crazy.

Eventually after being strung along for months.
I was dropped.
For the third time in this friendship, we have parted ways.
I am not ok.

Make no mistake this is not about my Mate....but about a partner.
A partner who comes back into my life time after time to break my heart and walk away.

And yet.....I still love em.
Yet....I would still let them back into my life. Over and over again.
So painful.

So art has been slow cause of this turmoil in my life. I hope once I recover I can be more productive.

Viewed:	10 times
Added:	3 years, 1 month ago 15 Mar 2021 20:56 CET

3 Comments on this Journal

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GratitudeAdvocate

3 years, 1 month ago

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I'm terribly sorry this all went down the way it did... I really feel for you. Having devoted a long stretch of my own life towards a fellow artist on FA, it only made that abrupt rejection and downright dismissal all the more painful. :( I just don't believe I'd have the heart to forgive her if she ever approached me with potential to try again, to give it a second chance. Nah, I've become far too estranged to consider any means of redemption. I forgive her and still respect her, that'll never change, but I simply do not feel love or any commitment for her like I may have before... but enough about my past. :)

It can be horribly devastating for anyone to deal with. Even those who swear to have thick skin and can take rejection easily often-times wind up disputing their own deepest emotions. I really sincerely feel for you, my friend! I'm quite sorry you've been dealing with such detrimental turmoil. If you ever feel any need to open up and talk about things, even if they seem rant-heavy and nonsensical, you can always rely on me to be a stable anonymous shoulder to lean on and an open inquisitive ear to listen. I'm here for ya!! Always have been, always will be. <3

WoofieBrisbane

3 years, 1 month ago

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@ GratitudeAdvocate

It's slowly getting better. But I am well aware that if I make one small mistake it will be jumped on with absolute prejudice. Cause their "significant" other is just looking for reasons to push me further and further out of his life.
I just don't understand people's need to isolate their partners into their own little circles and dismiss the ones from the past.
Claiming everything I said or did was an attack against them, when in reality if I had a problem with them I would have flat out said I did. I don't sugar-coat things.

GratitudeAdvocate

3 years, 1 month ago

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@ WoofieBrisbane

Dang, what a terribly ugly scene to be cast into! :(
FOr real, you don't deserve to be stuck in such an unfortunate role, that's unfair and uncouth to both you and everyone else involved. I wish some folks could bury the hatchet and move on in life a little easier without retaliating or showing raw resentment against another out of either jealousy or a weird maternal protective instinct.

I've never known you to be of the sugar-coating variety, that's why I'm always open and frank about what I say to you because I know I can be and not feel judged or misled into some other ignorant online behavior. You are one of the damn cool ones who isn't overly judgmental of others based on comments given. lol I've met a few of those types in the fandom, not highly recommended. X)
Not enough of us truly speak out on our minds and hearts, not enough of us act out on certain literary impulses. I'm just REALLY glad that you do, even through your artwork. Its quite therapeutic to some of us... ;3

I can only hope and pray for your situation to get better and to work itself out properly.
Remember: shepcoon is here for ya. Full-on hybrid support.

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