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Yaoifairy

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Added: 6 years, 2 months ago
 
RasoreWing
6 years, 2 months ago
Well I think I'm the worst example of social norms. I do shave my legs but I DON'T wear heels, I HATE make up (unless I have pimples to cover up), and I just hate society's present feature of women. So there's my cent and a half.
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
Thanks :) I stopped wearing heels a for a while, especially since I can't walk in them xD I wear vibrams EVERYWHERE lol ppl stare but idc. Agreed with the future of women :(
RasoreWing
6 years, 2 months ago
Yeah you're welcome :D
JamesWN
6 years, 2 months ago
I see Vibrams and I keep imaging blunt objects falling on people's toes. X.x *hides my feet in workboots*
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
X3 well if I wasn't wearing those I'd be wearing sneakers, which are just as much squishable if something falls on your foot! Luckily I'm pretty careful and have only dropped a can on my foot when i was like 7
arkaid
6 years, 2 months ago
Guy here
Makeup: I don't care. Honestly, I like girls that look naturally cute
High Heels: eewww. I hate those

However....

Hairy legs: No please. Girls are supposed to feel smooth. Smooth. Smooth. Smooth. I can't speak for all guys, but something I love about girls is running my fingers and feel how soft and smooth they feel. And yes, hairy legs sort of break that spell for me. That being said, a bit of fuzz doesn't bother me at all.
Bittercoon
6 years, 2 months ago
Funny, but I heard this complaint by some of the women who don't like touching a hairy face of a guy.  So I guess it goes both ways.....just in different places.
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
I suppose that's true. A hairy face only bothers me if its kissing me and is all prickly.
Nick2Shy
6 years, 2 months ago
haha, yup, definitely true
KevinSnowpaw
6 years, 2 months ago
Im kinda with you there. I dont like hair at all on boys or girls XD, If it's not on your head it better be dead!
Asman69
6 years, 2 months ago
i agree mostly with this statement, except im not too big on hairy legs, but i can deal with it. my only thing is that im the only one in the relationship with a face stubble. that being said, if i were in a relationship, i would shave if my gf asked, within reason,
Bittercoon
6 years, 2 months ago
I personally find it ridiculous.  Just do what you find comfortable.  I know a few women who don't shave their legs or do any of the "norms" and they seem to be happy.  Let alone married.  SO I really don't know why it's an issue other than not only worried about following society, but doing it cause people close by don't seem to agree to step outside of the norm.
arkaid
6 years, 2 months ago
Sure. Girls after getting married they stop shaving :3~
We guys stop exercising XD
Bittercoon
6 years, 2 months ago
Hehehe, well, I was just giving an example.  But seriously, I knew a few women including my own sister who didn't shave or use make up. Actually were tomboys.  Didn't stop them from getting into a relationship.  It really depends how badly you want to quickly get into a relationship is what would make you want to conform as much as you can.  Granted, these ladies didn't date in high school and only got married a couple years after college.  But hey, they got a significant other who love them for who they are without having to do some crazy stunts just to get noticed.   Just had to wait till were a little bit older and wiser.....along with the fishes near them.
Nick2Shy
6 years, 2 months ago
I kinda agree to arkie
though the most important in my oppinion stays as you have to feel comfortable. if you don't want to and it bothers you then just don't do it I guess. I myself would appreciate it but if my boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't want it then okay, their right to do so

oh, and who gives a damn about social standarts? I'm not a fan of that, everyone is supposed to be free
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
Yeaaa I like being free. And just the fact that I'm feel pressured to do something I don't want to makes me mad and not wanna do it ever almost just to spite them and everything else that says I have to. As my lil bro says, I have hipster issues lol
Nick2Shy
6 years, 2 months ago
haha, really? xP
but nah, it's quite understandable I think ;)
InsecureFlaky
6 years, 2 months ago
Sometimes the concept of "sexy" Can also vary depending of the people tastes and such, but generally talking you're right in some of those examples.

The issue here is mostly what Men and women have stablished as as standards for "beauty" over the time, some simply silly, but sometimes the Vanity, Ego, or whatever the reason ends making people doing such thing (Trust me there is a lot of men that act like divas)

Now about, Hairy legs on boys or girls....Mother of god Please no
Blackymoon
6 years, 2 months ago
Well ... I think I go and like what comes natural as I really don't like those over-powdered make-up women, or those that spray more perfume on them than you can buy in a drug-store and literally choke on it. Believe me that I had to move from my seat in public transport more than once as someone that had used a large amount of pungent perfume on him/herself or else I really would have puked in his/her lap. Same with shaving ... if you like it or want to do it, then do it, I won't judge someone on personal looks. I also won't do things though that society or others desperately want me to do if it's not against the law. Best example is Facebook or StayFriends. I personally don't like it and don't want to stuff all my data on there or waste my time there, yet wherever I go, be it at work, study-colleagues or friends, all of them push me to use that service, sometimes with really annoying arguments and heated moments, the main point all the time being "everyone does it - so if you don't you'll be left out". So what? I really don't care :)

But I guess that is more or less one of those "social-cultural evolution things" that comes within a larger population, sometimes country-wide, sometimes globally and most oftenly with -sometimes weird- fashion-sense. All depicted/lead by trends, so-called "fashion experts" and/or people that want to stick a certain image on people like "you have to look like it because everyone looks like it, if not, you're an outsider or will get strange looks from bypassers or are plain ugly".

Don't be sick of being a girl sweety, there are times I also hate being a guy, you will always have those moments xD

Best advice is to just try and argue in a civil manner. If the person on the other side don't want to budge from his/her standpoint and keeps bugging me more, I'd drop it alltogether with that person, even if that'd mean losing him/her as a contact/friend, but I just can't stand people that try to stigmatize or push believes/senses onto others. If he/she can't accept my own standpoint in trivial matters as unimportant as "shave or no shave" because it revolves around "me", then to hell with them ^^ I live my life the way I want, not like others want :)

As for more personal matters between lovers or partners... that is a standpoint both have to clear for themselves in a civil matter like it should be. But while doing so there shouldn't be the invading social stigma of others, just between the two. Remember, you don't love others or society, you love your partner <3
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
Ah well said Blacky. I totally hear ya on the over perfumized people. I too have had to move from seats in school and such, the people were wearing so much it was making me sneeze @__@! I has a sensitive nose. I don't wear any perfumes, I just use slightly scented lotions (organic ones lol) because my skins dry after I shower X3

It's just tough having everyone tell you that you should do it because its not sexy. But I'm not trying to be sexy for anyone, and I suppose thats my bfs issue with it XD
Blackymoon
6 years, 2 months ago
Hehe, I know it's hard with everyone always bludgeoning you with the same arguments, you just don't have to let it get to yourself, just shrug it off if the other side keeps bugging, it's hard but do-able and your inner self as well as your mental-self will greatly love you for it :) I know you wouldn't try to be sexy for others when you already have a partner, that would look really weird and would be kind of ... well ... distrusting against your partner I guess ^^;;

There is also a difference between "having" to do some things in a "fashion or health sense" and just plainly hygienic or healthy way (e. g. really excess bodyhair-growth that should be kept at bay or applying lotion for dry skin like you mentioned).

I guess the only thing you can do at this point is try and calmly talk with him about the whole "issue" and lay open your feelings about it, ask him about his and if both of you could maybe come to a conclusion or other acceptable method, he should understand that :)
Feryl
6 years, 2 months ago
I grew up in the south, in the woods of south Alabama & north Florida. Natural is fine by us, sissy girls are just too high maintenance.
Zeikcied
6 years, 2 months ago
I pretty much agree with Arkaid on everything.

I'm not a fan of makeup on women.  A lot of women are naturally pretty.  Y'all don't need all that artificial stuff.

I hate high heels for what they do to feet, but that's mostly 'cause I like feet. ^_^;

I'm not sure how I feel about body hair.  I guess if it's just a little fuzz then there's not really a big deal.  I'd prefer smooth skin, but that's fine.  But if it's a lot of hair, then it gets a little icky.

Yeah, I suppose there are societal norms that we are all conditioned to follow and/or find attractive.  That's just how things are, I guess.
DOtter
6 years, 2 months ago
Now I'm curious. You stopped shaving your legs to see what would happen. So what happened, (besides your bf getting upset?)

And here's something to think about; don't answer if you don't want to, just think. If your bf stopped shaving his package, would you be less likely to apply your tongue to it? (Or if he doesn't, if he started, would you be more likely?)
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
That's pretty much it. My brothers don't care, probably wouldn't have even noticed if I hadn't mentioned it. He's the one who got mad. Which makes me mad! Going out in public, well i don't think anyone would notice, but I don't sport the short shorts like I used to. I'm used to people staring at me since I dress kinda funky XD

And to your 2nd set of questions, nothing bothers me about fuzz in that area lol. I mean unless it was so bushy it covered ur wee X3;
DOtter
6 years, 2 months ago
Well heck, if it doesn't make a difference in your life, why waste time doing it? I'm sorry that it bothers your bf so much... maybe he just really likes the feel of smooth skin... but if he really cares about you, he'll get used to it. Maybe he can pet your tummy instead. And if he can't get used to it, maybe he doesn't really care.

I really didn't expect you to give a public answer about your sexual tastes, (or any answer!) It must be convenient being able to give your bf pleasure and floss at the same time. (kidding) I'll tell you a secret; I started shaving there, having smooth skin makes me feel sexier. That's just me, though.
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
Ah, well in this domain, inkbunny, I'm not putting up any fronts! I don't have to hide any of my answers. I don't care if all the furs know I have hairy legs!! lol! But on that note, by bf does "trim" in areas down there, but he really isn't a hairy person either. And he also NEVER touches my legs...never rubs them or pets or whatever and he does rub my belly lol. One of the reasons why i have no idea why he is complaining. I wear socks ALL the time too, knee high ones (its kinda my thing XD) so most of the time you just see bright colored socks instead of leg anyways.

This may sound kinda stupid, but I've had to water down my sexiness. As a girl...you get cat calls and hit on ALL the time if you wear anything that could be considered "sexy". While it is nice and flattering at times, it can get redundant and annoying. I mean here I am walking down the street, trying to listen to my mp3 player, and a car full of horny men HONK at me and whistle. I wanted to be invisible at that moment, I wanted just a nice peaceful walk without any harassment. So no shorts, have to wear a big jacket, and pants (that arn't skin tight like jeans-which I also hate wearing) to be not-noticed. And sometimes that isn't enough. Just gotta wear boy clothes lol. Hey being a girl sucks!! I just wanna be a boy XD
tannim
6 years, 2 months ago
Guy here... feel free not to shave your legs and don't wear those stupid high heels or that fake looking make-up.  As somebody else said, do what feels comfortable.  "It's traditional" or other such trash isn't any reason to do something.  Break tradition, tell those who have a problem with it to fuck themselves.  Admittedly, it's harder in many countries where men are free to torture and kill their wives or women for their own amusement or "because they acted badly.", but that's over there in the middle east and many other nasty places I won't be going to anyway.
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
Yeah, this is definitely a first world problem as a woman xD. I know I am very fortunate and lucky to be born here in the US and in this day and age. Lord knows in any other time period I would be some mans baby-making slave. *shivers* Yeah. If he bothers me about this shit again I'mma tell him to go fuck himself XD. he can break up with me because I refuse to shave my legs :P!
tannim
6 years, 2 months ago
At least our unfair traditions don't require you to have your clitoris and/or inner labia cut off and cunt sewn shut... still popular practices in some places in africa and a few other places.  If it was that or shave my legs, I'm pretty sure I'd shave my legs :}  Really though, if enough women band together they can force such practices to end.  Or could have before guns came into popularity.  Now it's as easy as point and uppity woman problem solved :/
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
Well you can't just shoot peaceful protesters. Though I think there is too much competition between women to band together for that kind of unity. When I see rap videos I just shake my head :( I know girls love feeling sexy...but there comes a point when you are nothing more than just a piece of ass for men to oogle at. Nothx!
yiharbin
6 years, 2 months ago
look at humanity like an animal.
try taking out all emotional factors and everything until you get down to simple elvolution and how the brain has been programmed to work

its all for breeding purposes in some way. No one says girls HAVE to do shit. They want to be what men like to get them. Idk where hairless legs comes in on an evolutionary point.... BUT, if you look at all the make up and tanning and crap men find attractive.... FOR EXAMPLE. Men are drawn to women with larger breasts? why? Guys just find them appealing. Why on the biological level / reproductive level.... Larger breasts means more able to provide sustinance for offspring. As for make up and all that, it makes the skin seem healthier, thus producing healthy offspring. Even people that like heavier set women.... if you look at it from the part of the brain that just wants to focus on reproduction.... a larger body like that means that they are more able to provide for offspring.
nearly everything like that is related to mating.

heres a challenge. analyze all the men you come in contact with, what kinds of things they find attractive in a woman, then look to see how it relates to breeding. Everyone is programmed with preferances to produce better equipped offspring. even going all the way to body scent. your DNA is carried in your sweat, and people that smell it... their brain looks at the DNA and sees how compatable it is. if not compatible or not good enough, the brain registers it as a bad odor, but if the brain likes the genes, it makes it seem like a good smell. (Perfumes and deoderants and thigns warp it a lot... hence the fake odors)

really, I dare you, look at what men find attractive
OR WOMEN FOR THAT MATTER (they are worse about it then men are actually. women are so driven to reproduce that they go as far as mutilating their bodies through surgeries and all that make up, hair dying and whatever..... making it look like they have good genes and can provide, just to get a guy. Guys are quick and simple. "Id tap that" or "Eh, Ill pass". not all this look pretty through fake means crap)

...I got a littly ranty, sorry XD
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
Ah I like a good rant X3; I see what you're talking about. It is true that people look for whats good in mates. But this is one of the reasons I had liked online dating. You got to know a person for who they were before you ever got to see what they looked like. And on a side-note, I am never going to be a breeder X3;! I really truely and honestly have no urge to raise chillens of my own, kids and babies are the most annoying and non-cute things ever! Somethings I think there is something defunct in me...since I'm not craving babies lol
yiharbin
6 years, 2 months ago
lol, kids arnt for everyone.
Personally, I REALLY want kids! I love children, and dream of raising my own. The issue is that I only seem to attract men >.> I have two boyfriends, two guys that admit they have crushes on me, and three others that flirt with me. Not a single girl in there.
soooooooo...... breeding is a challenge when you only  manage to attract your own sex >.>

and, yeah, I like online dating too, because you really get to know the person before you see them, and by then, its a bit late to duck out XD
though, its bad from a breeding perspective, because your brain my say they have bad genes or something, and we just ignore it. then, you end up with "special needs" children and "defectives"
.............. to be honist, if I have a child thats messed up... like autistic or something.... I will eather try to have it put down or put up for adoption...... (Idk, I am crazy about things being natural. I try to do things as naturally as possible. I dont even take medicine when I am like dying sick, lol.... but, in nature, when something is ""special"", it tends not to survive...so.... it just seems kinda right... you know (I get in trouble with people freequently for my thinking >.> ) )
Delirious
6 years, 2 months ago
I'm a guy, and interestingly all the girls in my age group have always told me they prefer guys not to have any body hair whatsoever, including facial hair.  It gives me the impression that that's what most people are going to prefer regardless of gender in the coming generations.

As for me; I think makeup, perfume, and high heels are not attractive at all.  I feel that women have the capacity to be naturally attractive in all aspects.  And in the end, I really only care about the type of person she is, not the type of person she looks like.
Regarding body hair, I recall having a crush on a girl in middle school even though she had some really hairy arms.  I don't think it should matter, and really, as long as you're happy, I think you should just do what you're comfortable with.  :)
Bittercoon
6 years, 2 months ago
I noticed that myself.  The younger generation seem to prefer as little hair as possible.  It kinda weirds me out.  But then again, oddly enough, youth is beauty.  And the less hair and smoother the skin, the younger they seem to be.
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
I swear kids are gunna start having sex younger more and more often...*pedo bear erupts*
Bittercoon
6 years, 2 months ago
Yeah, no kidding.  Kinda scary.  Especially when they show up to cons looking to do just that.  I got a buddy that used to have that happen to him nearly every convention.  But at least he was smart enough to back away after some flirting.  Which was good.....cause at one con, one of the young girls was last seen talking to him before she vanished.  Hehehe, cops was on our door.   That was scary.  But not as scary for the guys who was caught naked with her in the next room.  Needless to say, those guys were in huge shit.  I don't know what happened other than they got escorted out of the building in cuffs.

Either way, at least when it comes to cons now.  If I see an underage badge and they are flirting, we get FAR away as soon as possible.

And here's the odd part of the whole story.  Her MOTHER was encouraging her to get pregnant.  Cause that way, she's set for "life".  I guess so, depending what state your in, a guy missing child support is a huge jailable offense.  I guess the term "jail bait" really does apply.  But still, she was 14 and the guys caught were 25....yeah...
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
Yikes. Yeah my friend told me cons are just a means to get fucked. I know many boys who would have stayed virgins for years if not for cons X3
Bittercoon
6 years, 2 months ago
Yeah, no kidding.  Pretty much how most of my buddies got laid.  Me.....either I got too much respect, fear...or both.  But I never took a chance when it was presented.  Frankly, I like the idea of knowing the person more instead of later.  Definitely won't give me experience.  But unlike most people I know, I don't have child support and/or VD.  So I guess I did something right in life.  :-)
phyrexfirestorm
6 years, 2 months ago
wait, they don't now? cuz kids are having sex at age 13  or so now, and that's already kinda fucked. What the hell happened to society?
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
Hmmm thats interesting. I bet Twilight has something to do with it! lol Back in like the 50s (or so) women loved hairy-chested men. When i was in Middle school, the one man who shaved his legs got asked about it a lot, and was teased about it sometimes by the other men, calling it "gay". Which I thought was messed up, but teenage boys can be cruel. It was my first time that I had ever thought about shaving my legs at that time too. For PE actually lol just like above mentioned. The most innocent girl I knew, who was soo innocent and natural... had shaved her legs. And I was so surprised by it. I suppose then I thought about doing it myself because she had. My mom always told me not to because it would grow back thicker and that I'd have to do it forever. Well I fell into the own pressure of my mind and did it. I tried to hide it from my parents because I knew they didn't want me to lol.
Uhh sorry I digressed a bit X3; I never shaved my arms, they arn't really that furry and I would hate to have stubblyness on my arms since they are already very soft. And now I just want to continue the trend on my legs XD
Bittercoon
6 years, 2 months ago
I like your parents already. :-P

And yes, I blame Twilight....for everything. :-P
phyrexfirestorm
6 years, 2 months ago
Personally, I don't think heels and makeup are needed to make a woman look attractive. As far as shaving goes, I only like women having nice, smooth legs, because I always associate hairy legs and arms with men. Sorry, but that's me. As far as shaving the bikini region, I dont care if it is done or not. I mean, do try to keep it trim (since I do), but I dont honestly care.

If you want to look sexy, then be yourself. Relax on the couch in your sweatpants and shirt, no makeup, slippers on, and no hair styling. Just relax and be comfortable, and in my eyes, you will be the sexiest woman anywhere on the planet.
Incaros
6 years, 2 months ago
If, by some strange twist of fate I manage to get into a relstionship, I'd only ask the girl to shave her legs if she made me shave my face. -sage nod- Still, its better then OTHER places that are getting shaved. I've actually heard that some women are taking their young, I think preteen daughters to get "virgin waxes".  ._.
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
Wow...thats sad and...wrong?!? wtf...why would you need to wax ur 12 year olds twat? Society man...

To me shaving face and shaving legs are two differnt things. Shave face because you don't like getting pricked when your kissing. What does legs have anything to do with the touch? You can't feel it because your guy's legs are much hairier than ours. I guess if your a man who loves to feel up legs all the time. Def not the case with mah bf...:P
Incaros
6 years, 2 months ago
They can feel it when you're sleeping together. Though I guess that might only be the case with stubble.
Bittercoon
6 years, 2 months ago
Now that is disturbing.  Waxing alone is disturbing.  But subjecting little kids to that......WTF?  Strange direction we are heading.
Netreek
6 years, 2 months ago
The hair thing goes for both genders. The less hair the more both like it because of so called hygene thing. Well. there is something to it if you think of it. With hair on your whole body there is alot more of crap to get into it.
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
That's why humans shuda bathe daily. Unless you are some hairy beast then maybe hygiene is a concern for you. If the hair is barely noticeable, does it even matter? I don't think it does so idc.
Bittercoon
6 years, 2 months ago
Meh, TMI, but I find if I shave my armpits, it smells more and gets wetter.   Hairy pits I noticed isn't so bad.  And using either the white powdery speed stick or the gel seems to stick to hair better and works.  So I don't understand the whole shaving is better hygiene thing.  Now surgeons shave the area they are working on, not because of hygiene.  But because it gets in the way and would cause infections if the hair gets stuck into the wounds during healing process.
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
I use a crystal deodorant, natural but it doesn't work as an anti-perspiration, only to block odor!
DOtter
6 years, 2 months ago
I've heard of that, never seen it though. Does it work well?
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
Yea it does! Even works for my dad!! And his man odor! And both my brothers. Crystal!

You can find it at any grocery store or wherever they sell deodorants (at least here in my area they carry it) It lasts a long time, I've had mine for months. Anti-perspirant are bad for your body/health :S!
DOtter
6 years, 2 months ago
Nifty! I know my underarms itch when I use anything with scent on them. I'll look out for this stuff.
Launny
6 years, 2 months ago
I hate heels >.< , but like everything shaved hehehe
talon1990
6 years, 2 months ago
i can kind of understand a little bit of the stigma surrounding hairy legs as i personally find leg hair very unattractive. in fact that is why i shave my own legs even though guys "apparently" aren't supposed to shave them, never mind the fact that I'm a guy who likes looking kinda feminine. that being said if i met a girl i really enjoyed being around i wouldn't get into a fight with her over something like hair on her legs. but you know how social norms are, men have to have muscles I'm not even sure are medically possible and be angry all the time, and women have to be so emaciated you can see every bone in their body and have giant fake tits. its incredibly stupid but then so is the world allot of the time so what can ya do?          
Doubleofox
6 years, 2 months ago
I feel that shaving legs is a must. Not only for females, but males too.

This is especially true for anyone remotely in any form of athletic activity. Hair is general is just downright useless when people should just be wearing pants anyways.

The high heels, make up, and pretty much all other social norm for women can be dropped and tossed away, but the shaving legs stays, for all genders
PlaneshifterLair
6 years, 2 months ago
Hm. Now I feel kinda bad. I may not -encourage- girls to shave, but I do prefer it. Though heels I find stupid, and I like a girl natural rather than with make-up...
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
Ah its the media n all.
ArcCahlon
6 years, 2 months ago
for me I don't really care if a girl wears make up or shaves there legs/arm pits. the only thing I say is a must is that she shaves any hair above her lips, i don't want to feel like i'm kissing a guy.

but thats just me. not sure why guys insist on girls being totally shaved but then again i haven't had a date in over 22 years heh.
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
X3 yeah there are some things that I think are understandable.
You dateless in 22 years? Are you 22?
ArcCahlon
6 years, 2 months ago
lol no. 33 last time i had a gal she was the dominate one of the relationship a really sexy tomboy. never really learned to pick up gals (how to communicate express feelings) so been on the side lines for those years. my only regret is i'll probably die a virgin lol
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
Well I'm certain if you made it your goal to lose your virginity you could X3; course i'm sure youd want it to be special~ or at least with a person you like X3;
ArcCahlon
6 years, 2 months ago
lol yeah thats the thing i could of lost it many times but I want it to be with some one i love not a drunken frat party. but i'm in no hurry. if it happens it happens if not no big loss. ^^
KhellSennet
6 years, 2 months ago
There is no easy answer here.

What you or any other woman is willing to do to enhance your appeal with prospective mates is entirely up to you, there is nobody standing behind you with a gun forcing you to shave, or apply makeup, etc.  How much time, effort, and suffering you are willing to put into your appearance will reflect on what kind of man (or woman) you will be of interest to.  And this isn't a thing exclusive to just females.  MEN need to do some things to appeal to women, such as shaving or growing facial hair according to the "in style", working out for a six-pack or huge biceps, and/or other grooming practices that appeal to women.  (You complain about shaving your legs, well try shaving a hairy chest...)  But the biggest thing that people forget is that much of what a man is expected to modify is behavioral, where with women it's mostly physical.  In public, around women, or at work, we have to act differently because much of what is natural/normal for a man is frowned upon.

Strictly speaking about courtship and mate-seeking behavior, men go through different kinds of hell, but it is still hell none the less.  The only real difference between the genders is that there is a bit of a double-standard where the things men do for courtship, only have to be done for courtship.  Women have to "pretty themselves up" at work too, because makeup, heels, and flattering clothing have become essential in the workplace.

Should you shave your legs?  Well, yes.  Of course, because that's what "men" are looking for.  It's a far different thing than asking you to deform your organs with a corsette or crush your feet to fit into size-1 shoes.  You don't have to, but people get the mate they deserve, in that those who don't put forth the little bits of effort, don't get Prince Charming.  Instead, they get Fat Larry the flatulent plumber who picks cheetos out from beneath his man-boobs.

I'm not trying to imply that an imperfect beauty deserves an imperfect spouse, and there are such a wide range of tastes out there that there could be someone for everyone, and whatever flaws a person has (and we all have them) won't matter to their true love.  But I am saying that good mates don't fall out of the sky, and if you're not willing to work for the man/woman you think you deserve, then you don't deserve them.

We are not victims of our body.  Our body is the victim of what we do (or don't do) to it.
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
Well I don't want to attract men who are soley in it for my looks, that is a poor relationship if it is only based on physical attraction. And having legs with hair on them, barely noticeable hair I'll say, will not stop guys from always hitting on me and such, as they always have. I don't care to have a man who wouldn't date me just because of fuzz on mah legs. Its not a big deal to me, I'm not a "classy" woman, I'm a down to earth- real person. And if being that only gets me fat larry lol!
KhellSennet
6 years, 2 months ago
Ah, but that is the mistake so many people make...

Making yourself look your best isn't about snaring someone with your looks.  Boob jobs, plastic surgery, or "fake" methods of enhancing your appeal are what result in shallow relationships.  But how you present yourself - the real you - says far more than just your looks.

Think of it like a job interview.  Show the prospective employer your best, emphasize everything good about yourself, and you may get the job.  Now they won't expect you to be dressed and behaved like you are during the interview for the entire time you work there.  Once you get settled, you learn what is and isn't okay, and see the job for what it really is.  The employer also sees you for who you really are.  Most of the time, both come to accept the good and the bad.  Some times, you or the employer learn it just isn't going to work, and you go your separate ways.

Relationships, especially spousal or romantic ones, are just like that.  You have to sell yourself; you have to present the best you can be when first starting out.  Like it or not, we are a judgemental species who do care about appearances.  We also have this amazing ability to compromise, and to love someone or something in spite of their faults.  There just isn't a Brad Pitt or Summer Glau for everyone, and yet we don't honestly all expect to get such a lover anyways.  And we still do love our spouses, even though they aren't supermodels or rockstars.  But before someone has a chance to grow on you, before you get a chance to meet the real person, they have to get their foot in the door, and that's where effort counts.

But now here's the tricky part.  Just because you've married or been with someone for a long time, doesn't mean everything goes out the window.  Keeping a relationship also requires effort.  Say my hypothetical wife stopped shaving, and developed a moustashe (as some women do).  Is that really going to impress me, the hypothetical husband?  No!  Some things can slip away over time.  Obviously wives don't spend all day in high heels, put on copious amounts of makeup for when they'll be at home all day, and probably they don't dress in the most flattering way around the house.  But that's okay, so long as on those times you go out for dinner, or on special occasions, she does make herself up the best she can - as so should the man.  You don't spend your every waking moment trying to impress your spouse the way you did when you were young and courting, but that isn't reason to let yourself go either.  Just because you secured a husband, doesn't mean he's yours for life no matter what happens.

Men cheat on their wives because they stop being intimate or romantic, let their bodies fall apart, or start acting like nags or mothers, not wives.  Women cheat on husbands because their man started treating them like servants/mothers and not partners, the romance has died, or he turned into a lazy, useless sack of crap.  Divorce is much the same.  Relationships fall apart because one or both of the people involved start treating their relationship like a granted thing, or an obligation / punishment.  It's not because the new secretary at work is younger and prettier, it's because she tries to be pretty while the man's wife has become content with letting her body immitate Sasquatch.  The poolboy didn't entice the wife with his chisled abs and tight ass; it's because he listened to her, and talked with her, and made her feel important again.  Relationships take effort, and what specific things help or hinder are varied by the people involved, but when you stop putting forth the effort, it all goes to shit.

I think I'm rambling a bit much, so I shut up now.
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
Yeeeeah...that was a bit of a ramble XD The whole thing behind the not shaving the legs is because I don't want to do it. Simple as that. And thats it. I'm not the kind of person to let myself go. I work out on a regular basis, and believe that being healthy is very important. But when something so minor like some fuzz on the legs becomes a BIG deal I get offended because I feel like it shouldn't.
Lol though you do sound like my bf. But what you don't know, that he should, is that I don't give a fuck what other people think. I don't GO to fancy restaurants where I have to dress uncomfortably. And I had an interview just last week and had to get dress pants and all that to prove I'm responsible or whatever the fuck I have to for. It is soooooo uncomfortable to dress that way, and I feel like a doofus! It just isn't me, the formal world sucks in my eyes. And as often as I can stay away from it, then i will. I like being me, and not dressing up for others. X3
Arkanos
6 years, 2 months ago
It's a matter of the social consensus over that is considered attractive and gets a mate, and the desire to be attractive to a potential mate. Yeah, it's fucked it. Never gonna change, though. The view of what is attractive will change. The problem with it, that you have? That won't. Humans are humans and will always be humans.
Catwheezle
6 years, 2 months ago
How come GUYS get the blame here?

I admit I don't care for high heels, shaved legs, breast enlargements, and so on, and would never ask someone to do them; I'm the only person in my  family who shaves, and that's restricted to my face.

I do it for the same reason that you shave your legs: apparently people think it's nicer that way.

But as far as I can tell it has always been women abuse themselves to make themselves look nicer. Women who lace each other into crazy corsets. Women who teach each other how to use makeup, who comment on it, who notice it, who care. Women who scorn each other for buying cheap perfume, who take eachother out on shopping trips to squeal over torturous high-heeled shoes.

Who was it in China who bound the feet of the girls, and made them jump off chairs onto stone floors in order to break their feet? Not the men, not in the records I've read! The grandmas. "You  need to do this, girl, or you'll never find a good man!"

Other than pimps, and apparently complete assholes like your boyfriend, I don't believe guys generally force women to do these things. They might like what women do it to women... but it's the women who do it.

Women want to look sexy. Men want to look sexy, too. So men get penis pumps and treadmills and so on, not because women force them to, but because they want to be appealing to the women.

Neither group can fix this: women are as likely to get together some day and say "let's all stop shaving our legs and getting cosmetic surgery" as guys are to say "let's stop caring about penis size" or "screw this whole deodorant and bathing thing and beard hair thing: let's look like wild men!".

But YOU can stop caring. Will your boyfriend leave you if you stop shaving? He's probably not worth having, then. Find the level of personal upkeep that you are happy with: if you want no makeup and to bathe less often and to let all your hair grow au naturelle and to wear comfortable shoes and jeans and t-shirt... then that's what makes you happy. If it upsets other people, conform only if it's worth it to you; otherwise, either deal with their unhappiness, or find new people.

My wife's perfectly happy in her jeans, t-shirt, unshaved, un-made-up, and loved deeply by me. Anyone who doesn't love her as herself, doesn't deserve to have her pretend to be someone else for their sake.
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
Well you're right. I could get mad at woman for doing these things to themselves in the first place. But it wasn't their idea most of the time, it is what men found what was beautiful, and then they conformed. And for fact that I'm getting aggroed at for going against the norm, shows you how it would have been difficult for women in the past to stray from the norm also. Woman didn't have any power back then and had to rely on men. Basically whatever they said goes. Which made it double hard on em.

I can't really comment on the woman going out and squealing and shopping and what not, I don't hang out with other women, and have no idea what they do for fun.
I shit I don't care if guys don't wear deodorant. MMM MAN MUSK LOL. I think that bathing is a thing for ALL humans and to compare bathing to cosmetic surgery...well. lol. But its whatever, no biggie. I'm glad you and your wife are happy ;3
Catwheezle
6 years, 2 months ago
I wasn't comparing them as equal, any more than you were comparing breaking feet to shaving as equal: we're both just acknowledging that there's a whole spectrum of things that we do to become more appealing to the opposite sex.

But that's usually our choice*. There are plenty of women who love uncut men, beards, men with a gut, or smaller penises. There are plenty of men who like "BBW" ladies, small breasts, or natural body hair.

So I'd argue that the reason we do these things is not because the members of the other gender (or of the media) force us to, but because we like to feel attractive, and with a positive self-image. For most of us, this is restricted to bathing, exercise, and other basic hygiene activities. For some people, this means gender replacement therapy, or even (in I think two documented cases) having a limb amputated to that they fit their image of how they want to look.

* Stuff that humanity does to children, without giving them a choice, like foot binding and genital mutilation (of both genders) are ghastly, tragic and horrible exceptions, but the weird thing is that even these sick weirdnesses seem to be perpetrated by the same gender. Cut men are the ones who argue for their sons to be cut: mothers who witness the operation rarely recommend it for their second son. I wonder if society will ever grow out of these things.
fluffdance
6 years, 2 months ago
<shrugs>  Doesn't bother me either way.  I tend to take notice of it, but only because seeing hairy women isn't "the norm."  Anything different is subject for scrutiny.  Human nature is to hate change, and prefer conformity, whether there's sense in it or not.  Being able to function beyond that by being objective about our impressions gives us the opportunity to meet people we otherwise wouldn't.

Personally, if I'm attracted to someone, it's because of their personality, not their appearance.  Yes, there are exceptions to that, just like every other aspect of human nature, but I'm not going to steer clear of a lady because she's got hairy legs.  Hell, if anything, that's reason enough to -talk- to someone I otherwise might just pass by in the street.  "Here's someone who clearly prefers function over form!"
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
Lol I met a friend of mine because I was walking bear foot. I just had an interview and just couldn't bear to walk in those stupid tiny woman shoes so I took em off XD It prompted him to talk to me lol I did go to my car and change. And yeah it may be my fault for not finding more cumfy woman shoes in the first place, but I was in a rush, didn't know what to get, and i have wide feet X3;
fluffdance
6 years, 2 months ago
Awr...  Well, perhaps it'll make you happy to know, that in my time as a general manager, I made it a point to not judge people based on how they were dressed, but rather the effort they made in presenting themselves.

...Now, if you were a MAN and came in to the interview in "woman shoes," that's a different story.  It's very likely that would be my focus of the interview, leading with a rather off-putting "So do you normally dress as a chick, or are you wearing those for a bet?"  Either way, chances are pretty good I've got a right character in the interview, and it's very likely I'd end up hiring them.  XD
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
I know that what you wear can count as a first impression, but to me what you say and your disposition when going to an interview I think would count more than what you wear. I try to throw in some humor in there, nothing wildly inappropriate, but just enough to draw out a smile :)!
fluffdance
6 years, 2 months ago
<nodnods>  Exactly!  I heard a statistic recently that says the results of an interview are decided within the first 12 seconds of the two parties meeting.  It sucks, but physical appearance makes up a majority of the first 12 seconds.  Dress sharp, look clean, and for god sakes, have some personality!  Everybody coming through that door is gonna be in a suit and tie, or a clean, simple dress.  Find something that matches expectations, then throw in a personal twist.  That way, if a few -other- candidates have some personality as well, then you'll have both personality -and- a positive impression on your appearance too!

I, for instance, always keep my 2-cell mini Maglite flashlight in a clean nylon holster on my belt at my front left.  I always have a reason for carrying it, and no matter what I'm wearing, it stands out, but doesn't look out of place.  I can wear it to a wedding or a funeral (and have to both), I carry it through security at the airport without incident, and I've worn it through a good few job interviews, as well.  It only rarely comes up as a topic, but I've got both medical -and- logical reasons to carry it, so it ends up going over well.  :-)

...Wow, from body hair to job interviewing tips.  "I'll take 'subject whiplash' for a thousand, Alex!"  XD
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
xD! I thought that would help in interviews too. Something to make them remember you, I like to wear headbands (usually bright ones since they are the only kind I have X3;) Maybe they will think "ah I liked that chick with the red headband!"
LioMynx
6 years, 2 months ago
Shaving, make up, high heeled shoes; it's all a choice.  You don't have to if you don't want to.  However if you are looking for ways to appeal to the masses of the opposite sex, a major way to win their approval is to follow the "norms".  Guys aren't safe from this either.  However, women's taste in men is more widely spread compared to us simple minded salami's

Anyways, crude label ignored, I'm a guy and I shave all of my body because I generally like the feeling.  I hate having my legs feel like a carpet and the little body hair on the rest of me doesn't feel clean to me.  I do what I do for myself, I just happen to find a bf who tends to like this behavior of mine.  Do what you want if it bothers you so much, there's no gun pointed demanding to trim whiskers.
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
Ah mah whiskers! *covers muzzle* X3; I'd say thats true about a woman's taste being more varied. At least I feel like that's true. Guys always talk about how girls want muscles and big weiners and all that...I don't care for huge muscles. And I actually prefer a lil chub over a 6 pac XD Aaand I wouldn't want a huge penis...that would hurt lil ole me X3;! Vaginal sized penis is fine 83!
LioMynx
6 years, 2 months ago
xD Imagine a guy like me if I were straight.  I'm skinny, don't look like I carry much body hair at all, and because I'm thin it's immediately thought of that I'd have an "internal" tool (Get it!  Cause it's so small!  heheh~ I'm funny....): )).  I don't think I'd be grabbing much appeal from the ladies.  I look like a "boy" to most women when most want a "man".  I'd have to eat giant masses of food and protean to counteract the metabolism, lift lots of weights to make sure all those extra pounds are not pure flab, and hair...well I don't think there's much I can do about that without some kind of pills or something :/
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
oh...you sound totally cute! XD But I see what you mean. I know a lot of skinny guys who struggle to put on weight (super jelly of that lol). Guess you will never be a hairy bear, but those hairy bears would have to do a lot more to be hairless! Guess we just gotta work with what our mama's gave us ;3
LioMynx
6 years, 2 months ago
Das the story!  And the circle of life continues :3
Bledar
6 years, 2 months ago
Here are my thoughts - don't shave your legs if you don't want to. Simple as that. :) As for your boyfriend, you could tell him 'shave all your own body hair, and then MAYBE I'll THINK about it. Period.'

You're not really sick of being a girl. You're just sick of being what everyone else wants a girl to be. So be how you want to be and your boyfriend will just have to accept that.

I'm not telling whether I'm a boy or a girl, but I do shave my own legs. And it is annoying. It makes my legs itchy, and I even got a scar once from peeling some skin off. You can't see the underside of your legs so you just have to guess what you're doing. Then after a few days it grows back. But annoying as it is, I do it for myself, not for anyone else.

So, you shave your legs only if you want shaved legs. But this is what you'll have to deal with. The itching can drive you nuts, the cuts sting like paper cuts, and you have to do it again next week. You choose whether that is worth it or not. That's all. :)
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
Ah that sucks!! My skin is very sensitive and it does dry out my skin even more. And I have to do it in the shower or else it stings and burns. Although it wasn't the work or anything thats bothering me about it, its just the REASON I do it is whats bothering me. So I don't wanna, and I'm not gonna. Pretty sure my bf is threatening to hold out (sex) on me...but hey...imma hot chick. I can get sex easy and that's a fact XD So I don't think that's a good plan on his part ;3
Bledar
6 years, 2 months ago
Looks like we're doing the opposite thing for the same reason. XD  I wonder how long your bf will last...
wolfman1214
6 years, 2 months ago
I hate that shit. Be who you want, and make your own look. You don't need to conform and be a clone to be sexy or beautiful.
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
*hugs* >;3 Hale yea!!
xichan
6 years, 2 months ago
Bah. I was going to read all these comments. I really really was. Then I saw just how many there are! So...please forgive me if I'm echoing what someone else said because I didn't bother to read them. Yeah. Anyways. Do what YOU feel like. It's your body. Just keep in mind, your SO has expressed that he finds you more attractive shaved. If he is saying he prefers your legs shaved because HE finds it sexy, and not because he wants you to conform, then you need to ask yourself if you are willing to shave for him...
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
I guesssssss. I just would want him to be accepting of it rather than getting hella mad at me! If he were to say "its cool, whatever its your body", then I would feel like it isn't such a big deal if it was or wasn't there. But because he is demanding that it be a certain way because he doesn't like it and won't accept it at all it makes me wanna fight him more! It always feels like a competition with him.
xichan
6 years, 2 months ago
This may just be a case of poor communication. I know that often when my own SO and I have disagreements, that is the reason. But then again, I don't personally know either you or your SO, so I'm not going to try to give relationship advice. ;)

Just personally, I prefer shaved legs and...well. Other things too. But in my case it's because I like to touch and lick and nibble and kiss, and hair gets in the way. Also, nothing spoils the mood so quickly as choking on a stray short'n'curly when things are getting hot'n'heavy.
BunnyFoxglove
6 years, 2 months ago
I say shave or don't shave, but what comes around goes around. Don't bitch about him not shaving his face if you're not gonna shave your legs.

I hate shaving my face, if I had the choice I'd grow a beard and let you keep your jungle legs. ;P
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
But facial hair is bothersome for kissing! Hairy legs (not prickly legs) don't bother you physically~ Unless your a leg stroker and want complete smoothness...but if you've read above comments (restating myself now lol) that he doesn't ever touch em, and i never shave my arms...they are soft! (as a comparison lol)
BunnyFoxglove
6 years, 2 months ago
A beard isn't prickly, stubble is. The beard is just as bad as hairy legs, especially during other intimate events.
Yaoifairy
6 years, 2 months ago
well you probably havent felt legs with hair that are soft and fine then :P And thats understandable since just about every girl in the US shaves their legs
BunnyFoxglove
6 years, 2 months ago
In all honesty I don't care if a girl shaves or not, but aesthetically it looks nicer, and feels super smooth and soft *murr*. I'm just saying in arguments sake, it should work both ways. I won't say it's true for all guys, but for some (like myself) I shave for others, not myself. So if I'm gonna shave for you, I would hope you could do the same for me.
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