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Raukue

It's Sad When Someone Thinks You Are Something You Are Not

by
So once again I try talking to someone after a long while and he is still dwelling on a past argument. I have tried explaining things several times over it is not about understanding some word or game, it was about the other points I made out but alas it means nothing to him. It's like I tell him no I didn't get mad about that and he rejects it and says yes it was, like he knows how I would feel. I say when I get mad about something but means nothing to him.

It really is mind blowing when you just can't get through to someone. They are constantly on the defense and it seems no matter how much you explain and be clear, seems only way they will be happy is if you obey to their whim, ya know?

I constantly said yes to what he was saying. I said yes that was his friends opinion, I accept that. But he thinks I have a things against opinion. Even though I agree and accept what he says, just because I add some extra words into it, it is not good enough. How all he wants to hear is "Yes, I agree." and not "Yes, I agree. But that is not what I am talking about, and there is a difference between what I am trying to say and what you are thinking I am saying." And eh yeah... oh well right?

Just some people have trouble understanding things, no matter how you try to explain it. English is his 2nd language so maybe that partly has to do with it but I dunno. I tried my best to explain, asking him what exactly is the problem and try to explain it to him in a way he can understand but doesn't seem to do so. So he thinks I am something I am not, some bad person, all because of how upset he is at me. So once someone is on the deep end I guess there is no coming back, eh?

Maybe he gets offended when I say he is not understanding and not focusing on the right points. Such as he says it's about a video game and I told him it isn't, it's about when he was trying to control what I was saying so... yeah. I dunno.

I notice now that I get all quiet and stop explaining he has cooled off so eh... that in a way is like just making him hear what he wants? He doesn't wanna hear me trying to explain and clear things up, he just wants me to be "yes master" so to speak. So eh honestly.

Anyway I dunno, just making a journal to vent it out a bit. Bit depressing and all. Course we have our pride so I don't wanna lie to myself and just bow down to him just so he starts being nice to me. He was being rather hypocritcal calling me an ass yet he was mocking me and putting words in my mouth, making quotes of things I never said or mean and then he has the nerve to say it's his opinion as an excuse for his behavior. Sure it may be, but to not admit he was out of line in what he was saying just wasn't right to do... eh.

So yeah I dunno... discuss?

Edit:
So I want to add how he said how come he gets along with everyone else he chats with but not me? What I can only think is that the most he does with others he chats with is RP with others or has that kind of simple chats. You know those docile chats so of course no one really gets a chance to argue. No deep conversation or anything. Of course I could just be assuming, that and his friends probably just ignore and not explain something to him if he doesn't get it the first time, I dunno. But eh things said in the heat of the moment and all.
Viewed: 125 times
Added: 6 years, 6 months ago
 
DonutGalaxy
6 years, 6 months ago
Alot of shit has happened to me like that. It is annoying...but i get over it...
x.x
don't dig this hole deeper is all i can say.
Raukue
6 years, 6 months ago
Yeah I mean I tried. But he was too focused on what he thought made me upset. A friend even broke ties with him for awhile because he was saying I was someone bad when that other friend of mine knew I wasn't bad at all. Just goes to show how far he takes his anger, eh?

But yeah I guess all that can be done is let it be. Thing is I said we should drop it, he said it too, but he dived into it anyway. Just rehashing what he said like I never said anything to clear things up, how what he was thinking was all wrong. You cannot tell someone's tone with text so people make up in their mind how that person sounds and eh... yeah.
Charliemon
6 years, 6 months ago
well at least you know your self you tried. and in the end that's all you can do
Raukue
6 years, 6 months ago
Yeah. Just one of those things that bugs me is when someone don't understand and has the wrong idea of me. I get along fine with lots of people but when I come across the type who have trouble understanding things, issues arise usually. I can say things in confusing ways sometimes.
ShiftElement
6 years, 6 months ago
very confusing if you dont tell details but sure you cant expect someone telling the truth of the internet and sometimes it doesnt get over on the other end as it supposed to be or they really don't want to hear what you are thinking.
Raukue
6 years, 6 months ago
Yeah I try to explain, say it wasn't about that it was about this but eh... all he can do is let his anger take over and mock at me and he is the one being an ass mocking and name calling when I do nothing of the sort. The moment I stop caring to explain, he is suddenly all fine... sigh. Kinda sad. It really is as I thought, the whole just bow to his whim or I dunno. He says he wants to clear things up but it seems all he wants to hear is what he is already thinking, don't matter what the other person says.

Also I added a bit more to the journal.
ShiftElement
6 years, 6 months ago
If he really only wants the hear what he is thinking then it has no use in the first place even to discuss. I would just drop that topic and move on. You only lose time and nerves that you could have invested somewhere else.
LupineAssassin
6 years, 6 months ago
I know the feeling all too well. Nearly every day I deal with people who are too thick-skulled to listen. Those kinds of people are not worth wasting your breath over. Their loss, not yours. Move on and be happier. :)
Raukue
6 years, 6 months ago
Yeah I suppose so, it's what I am gonna have to do. Thing is, if this happens once it will again and well has already happened over 4 times so goes to show, eh? All he seems to want is simple small chat, RPs and happy lala and all, I dunno, I added that to my journal there.

I guess I will try to explain this one part to see if I tried to make it clear. He said a friend of his loved Saints Row 3 but said Saints Row 2 was shit. I told him that no, Saints Row 2 is not shit and gamers have to stop saying a game is shit when they just don't like it. They need to say "I didn't like that game, I think it's shit, not a bad game just wasn't for me" or something like that. So I was agreeing in that is his friends opinion but it doesn't mean the game is bad, his friend just didn't like it. I was just saying people have to stop stating things like fact about calling a game bad and shit.

Anyway the guy just didn't seem to understand what i was trying to say as I tried to explain it better, he just kept getting upset at me and all that, repeating himself that it was his friends opinion and I already said I know it was I was just talking about something. You see whenever someone brings up things I at times go into what I think about something, make a convo out of it, doesn't mean I am focusing on his friend or the game anymore, I was speaking out in general, which I think I also said, but still... nothing. Just can't make some people understand.
LupineAssassin
6 years, 6 months ago
*hug* Just last evening, I was on a stream. As soon as I said hello, 2 furs started trolling the fuck outta me. They started talking shit about when I landed in a homeless shelter. Then the artist pulled a real douche move and sided with them; he banned me from his stream. And all I did was say hello. My stomach was all in knots afterwards. I told a friend what happened, and she was quick to point out how well I handled the situation, considering.
Raukue
6 years, 6 months ago
Ouch yeah. Really some people. So quick to judge and assume and choose the wrong side as such.
LupineAssassin
6 years, 6 months ago
Precisely. The shit they bitch about is nearly 4 years old, and they get EVERY LITTLE DETAIL WRONG.
theuncalledfor
6 years, 6 months ago
Forget him. If he really is as you described, then you're wasting your time with him. You can find better friends. Friends that actually care about your side of the story.
Raukue
6 years, 6 months ago
Yeah guess that is what I am gonna do. Just letting that out, and others probably share similar experiences.
Shokuji
6 years, 6 months ago
Something I'm learning (the hard way) is that I'm not compatible with everyone, even if I very much want to be friends with someone and go out of my way to be friendly it doesn't change that compatibility. I've had people I thought were friends 'clam up' and stop talking with me for reasons unknown, I've had other people abuse my good intentions.. it sucks but it's just how it is. What helped me move on was realizing that I'm spending a lot of time on someone who doesn't like me back all the while partially ignoring my real friends who do like me and want my attention. I'm not saying give up on everyone who crosses you once, but if you've tried several times but nothing has come from it.. it's time to cut your losses. And don't frown because it's over, smile because it happened! It was good while it lasted, but not everything is meant to last forever. Just another reason to enjoy every day to it's fullest. =3 Hope you feel better from all this soon.
Raukue
6 years, 6 months ago
Yeah that is just how people are with others, just nothing seems to click and yeah they show lack of interest and don't seem to wanna talk to you for whatever reason. It's how I get with some and how some get with me. Just no chemistry or something.

But I am ok from that but I have another bigger issue I worry about, wonder if I should make another journal. Has to do with I think I become to use to being a hermit, too use to being alone. How recently met with someone IRL and I dunno... I am too use to routine and habit and this broke away from that and was just weird and not use to it. How I wonder if I am so use to being alone I cannot be around anyone anymore. That or maybe he wasn't my type? Or maybe I feel I am not ready for more than friends? I dunno... eh... yeah... sigh.
Shokuji
6 years, 6 months ago
=x Well.. from what you told me, perhaps the only way to test your theory is to go out and meet a few more people. Perhaps go to a furmeet or something. Though at the same time, if you're okay with being alone I don't see the problem. The only reason why anyone thinks it's weird is because people are usually social to some extent. But maybe your time online is where you get your socializing in? I don't know. Do you desire someone to be close to you physically?
Raukue
6 years, 6 months ago
I do yeah. Least I always thought so. I dunno.
Ramblo
6 years, 6 months ago
I do it, but arguing over what someone said before is a fools errand. Verbal communication or even typed communication is so unreliable that no stock should be given to it. It is entirely possible you thought one thing to say and he thought he heard something completely different. Maybe you thought one thing and said another. Maybe what you said was right but his brain interpreted the sounds wrong. Maybe he just heard what he wanted to hear. Or maybe everyone's memory of the event is wrong.

The past is the past. If you disagree about something that matters to the present then discuss that. But the instant someone mentions a past disagreement just chalk it up to the human condition of errors.
Raukue
6 years, 6 months ago
Maybe all that is so yeah but eh. Just don't think he understood what I was saying, I said something and he heard it all different. I tried to explain that is not the case but didn't seem to matter. Ah well.
Ramblo
6 years, 6 months ago
And they never will. They heard what they heard. It is a human failing that we put too much faith into such faulty communication.

Se la vie. Try thinking about something else.
Raukue
6 years, 6 months ago
Yeah I am over it for now. Now I just have other things in mind that I am worry about as I said in a comment above.
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