The world is full of Badguys. They live beneath every rock, behind every tree, in the depths of every valley and upon the peaks of every mountain. The Badguys are out there, and it is up to us, the Goodguys, to bring the fight to them first. Because, you see, We're The Goodguys, and no place is more full of Badguys than the most free, most prosperous nation the Earth has ever seen.
The origins of the We're The Goodguys movement is somewhat disputed. Some say it was formed in the early 20th century as a revolutionary arm of a Goodguys Bloc, taking the fight to the Badguys wherever Badguys axiomatically were, tearing down the Badguy societies and replacing them with mostly-peaceful democides. Some say it began when a Goodguy, who we know was a Goodguy because of the color of his skin, was murdered for mostly-peacefully assaulting a law enforcement agent, who we know is a Badguy because he killed a Goodguy and also because of the color of his skin.
The WTG movement was bolstered when another Goodguy was killed while mostly-peacefully bashing a Badguy's head against concrete, by the Badguy whose head was being mostly-peacefully bashed. We know the Goodguy was a Goodguy because of the color of his skin. We know the Badguy is a Badguy because his name sounds like he has a Badguy skin color.
Now, Goodguys are murdered by Badguys every day. Hundreds of them, and we don't have to support that claim, because Goodguys would never, ever lie. Goodguys are afraid to go into the streets, or at least those of us Goodguys who aren't going into the streets to bring the fight to all the Badguy-supporting people who are complicit by not vocally agreeing with and supporting us. This behavior is justified; didn't you know that Badguys have been oppressing Goodguys for hundreds of years? Didn't you know that over 150 years ago, Badguys had Goodguys as slaves? If someone does not believe We're The Goodguys they must, axiomatically, be the Badguys, right?
So the looting, the burning, the assaults, the murders, are all justified preemptive self-defense. We mourned when a WTG supporter was murdered for mostly-peacefully killing five Badguy law enforcers in Dallas; he knew they were Badguys because of the color of their skin.
When we protest, we wait for a Goodguy to start breaking things and setting things on fire and assaulting Badguys, then cheer for that intrepid Goodguy and chant useful spells like "We didn't see shit!" Because We're The Goodguys, and Goodguys watch out for each other. We're mostly peaceful, you see, and any attempt to frame us as Badguys merely outs you as a Badguy yourself. So, you'd better watch out, Mr. Badguy, because the Goodguys are going to mostly-peacefully bring the fight to you first, at your home, in the deep of night, preferably after a compliant government has forbidden you from defending yourself and ordered the Badguy law enforcers to stand down!
But don't be fooled into thinking Goodguys are all about skin color. We're only mostly about that right now, but if you look, you'll find that most Goodguys actually have a Badguy skin color. These Goodguys have renounced their Badguy sin, and now lift up their Goodguy flag and join the cause. They know that anyone who is more successful or has more wealth than them, must be a Badguy who stole everything from the Goodguys. The fact that the Badguys dispute the claims of the WTG movement merely proves their Badness.
Soon, the Goodguys will prevail, and nobody wants to be against the Goodguys once we have dismantled every government we can and replaced it with our own, with us in charge. We'll set up safe communes in places like Seattle, where a minimum of random killings will occur in the name of... whatever it is that we call the thing we replace law enforcement with. In the end, we promise that the next democide will be just as mostly-peaceful as the last, and will only occasionally turn into mostly-peaceful genocides.
Hey now, this is clearly stated to be a defense of the WTG movement. I am a Goodguy Ally, and would never dare associate with any Badguys. A pox on them! A pox, I say! Four Legs Good, Two Legs Bad! Four Legs Good, Two Legs Bad!
Hey now, this is clearly stated to be a defense of the WTG movement. I am a Goodguy Ally, and would
Nah, I'm pretty sure he's having fun, which is why I responded as I did. If I was sure he was serious I wouldn't have even responded. But I suppose I could be wrong about that!
Nah, I'm pretty sure he's having fun, which is why I responded as I did. If I was sure he was seri
