Yus, it is that time of the year again, my Birthday is today <3 Please, do not come showering me with gifts, it's not a big deal, I mainly only mentioned it for the attention whoring =P
The main part of this journal is that a little over 12 hours ago I had to make a big decision. I've lived with something for most of my life, something that has been slowly eating away at me and corroding my mental health for decades. I'm exactly thirty years old to the day now, and I've wasted so much time trying to fight this thing on my own, but I finally realized that I've lost half of my entire life (assuming I ever reach 60) just trying to deny it, to the point that it had finally started trying to kill me through depression to the point of starving myself. Yeah, it was so bad I couldn't make myself eat until some friends helped me out of that particular pit.
That was only about a week ago. Since then I've had ample time to reconsider my stances on a lot of things. Many things haven't changed, but I've learned to recognize how much I *need* something against how much I *want* it. And, this is what I need. I have been dealing with a case of self-diagnosed and somewhat severe bit of gender dysphoria. In other words, I desperately want to be female. I am going to be going for therapy at some point in the next few months (I hope) and I am going to be asking about options on this topic.
TL;DR
I intend to get a sex change performed upon myself, *preferably* before my next birthday, but who knows when really? Thank you all for listening <3
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3 years, 9 months ago
21 Jul 2020 01:00 CEST
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