So, come the morn. i will no longer be in my 20's. the days of my youth will probably officially be forever behind me. i find it to be surreal more then anything. i always saw myself as a youthful person with a bright future ahead of me because of my visions or dreams. sadly life threw me a curveball, kicked me down some stairs. pointed and laughed. and like Grover from Sesame Street, just kept coming back to screw with me. I'm not a depressing kind of guy. but my birthday has for several years been a kind of depressing day for me.
Not because of the reasons one would think though. expectations and bla bla. but more so because of its kind of a reminder of where i am in life and how shit's not happening the way i expected or wanted it to and it feels like the climb to what i want is just wishful dreams at this point and all opportunities have long since sailed. But because i've invested many years, i can't quit, i don't wanna quit. i keep going. i just try to do better. results just tend to not show as much.
but yeah, aside from that... wow... 30... that's a long time. i dont know how to feel.
care to chime in? don't worry. im not as depressed as this sounds. just sharing my thoughts.
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3 years, 9 months ago
29 Jun 2020 04:34 CEST
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