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BlackFlash09

I'm So Tired...

Last month, I visited my relatives for a funeral of a relative I barely knew.  My mom's relatives have a tendency to overwhelm me, so I usually try to limit my time with them.

It's gotten so bad that when I was at a restaurant with them, I locked myself away in an unresponsive state by covering my face with my hands, putting me in a literal dark place.  My mom had to shake me to get out of this "trance."  But I was still shaken up afterwards.

This isn't the first time this has happened to me.  Ironically, the last time also involved another funeral of a relative I barely knew.

My aunt invited my mother, me, and a little few relatives to her timeshare.  However, a lot more relatives invited themselves to sleep over in the limited space.  I was so overwhelmed that I locked myself in a closet, hoping to shield myself in some way.

I decided to return to college, only to find that the class went on for four hours and ended at 10 PM.  By the time I departed from the BART station, the buses I needed to ride in order to get home were no longer running.  So, I walked the rest of the way home and made it back around 10:30 PM.  And yes, I dropped the class...

After that night, I've been losing a lot of sleep.  And there came so many distractions that prevented me from sleeping or staying asleep.  GOD!  I want to kill myself if it'll give some fucking peace!

I'm not sure if my mom thought I was really ready to commit suicide.  But she informed my dad of the situation after I explained everything to her.  And I'm currently staying at my dad's home until my mental health has recovered...
Viewed: 41 times
Added: 4 years, 1 month ago
 
terrenski
4 years, 1 month ago
Take ur time. I can wait for ur good time.
BlackFlash09
4 years, 1 month ago
Thank you.  Feel free to message whenever.
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