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I kinda hate me a lot right now

remember in my past journals how I said I would be struggling for extra cash for food/groceries well, seems its doing exactly that right now, I told you guys all before and linked to a list to where I have taken in a lot of commissions, at the current moment, I could not sleep because of it woke up with stomach pain and a lightheaded daze, and had to take medicine to make the pain subside so right now I am just up writing this journal before I upload some small commission updates.

I really love to draw guys and I love to draw content for you all, but this route is not what I had in mines, due to past drama and stress I didn't do much to help myself think straight into not taking in more then 3-4 commissions, the good news is I did go from 17/18 pictures to 11 so I guess thats something, but as of the moment things have been slowing down because of my constant worry that I have nothing else to do or make ends meet..... I been even trying to look for part time work for the past 4 months with no avail...

I don't have supporters on other platforms either so that just tells me maybe things are not cut out for me, I try to work hard and bring you guys content, but more and more I am starting to think I should just give up on commissions and focus on personal projects (after finishing the remaining comms that is), or just hope that people will still commission me after it all, I dont mind doing them its just the struggle and pressure from everyone asking me where is there comm is starting to make me worry, and me not being able to take any new commissions is literally starting to make me starve to the point of pain.

this isn't anyone elses fault except mines, and I fully accept it.... I really hope that I can overcome all of this and get better, I don't want to struggle like this anymore...

I just wanted to share this information to you guys, even though I don't really get enough people to check on me except a select few, I worry for my success not for the popular status.

thank you guys for reading this... hope and pray for the best for me....
Viewed: 66 times
Added: 3 weeks, 2 days ago
3 weeks, 2 days ago
Sorry you are struggling man. I hope you can get some money soon.
3 weeks, 2 days ago
thanks for the words and kind gesture
3 weeks, 2 days ago
Bro, were here for you, all you need is a system.
After you finish those remaining ones, only limit yourself to a handful, and dont build a giant list.
If it pressures you so bad, it should lighten the load on you.

I'd say limit the cap to 6-9 Max (maybe 10)
also limit it based on the work you're doing.
More expensive projects = more time right?
So then if someone lets say orders your highest com level, knock a slot or two off till its done, and dont accept more.

Its about balance. Do what you love, but dont kill yourself over it either.
3 weeks, 2 days ago
yeah thats basically what I had in mind really but only 3-4 comms at best
3 weeks, 1 day ago
just..hang in there. things could still change for ya ^^
3 weeks, 1 day ago
It’s struggles like these that are always difficult to work through.  Just hang in there, try to keep we’ll, and keep on applying.  Some work is bound to happen eventually.  

Good luck.
3 weeks, 1 day ago
Im in the same boat as you right now as far as stress goes... We'll make it through somehow...
3 weeks ago
Like what Sebby was saying, you gotta find a balance in how you do things, I took on a lot of commissions before I left to get my tooth fixed but I did them all in order of easiest to hardest and I did the newer commissioners first since the ones who have commissioned me before know I'm good for it.

I still have one left to do but due to dental surgery I can't do much until I get home from where I am :-c

Just take a moment and compartmentalize and organize yourself
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