remember in my past journals how I said I would be struggling for extra cash for food/groceries well, seems its doing exactly that right now, I told you guys all before and linked to a list to where I have taken in a lot of commissions, at the current moment, I could not sleep because of it woke up with stomach pain and a lightheaded daze, and had to take medicine to make the pain subside so right now I am just up writing this journal before I upload some small commission updates.
I really love to draw guys and I love to draw content for you all, but this route is not what I had in mines, due to past drama and stress I didn't do much to help myself think straight into not taking in more then 3-4 commissions, the good news is I did go from 17/18 pictures to 11 so I guess thats something, but as of the moment things have been slowing down because of my constant worry that I have nothing else to do or make ends meet..... I been even trying to look for part time work for the past 4 months with no avail...
I don't have supporters on other platforms either so that just tells me maybe things are not cut out for me, I try to work hard and bring you guys content, but more and more I am starting to think I should just give up on commissions and focus on personal projects (after finishing the remaining comms that is), or just hope that people will still commission me after it all, I dont mind doing them its just the struggle and pressure from everyone asking me where is there comm is starting to make me worry, and me not being able to take any new commissions is literally starting to make me starve to the point of pain.
this isn't anyone elses fault except mines, and I fully accept it.... I really hope that I can overcome all of this and get better, I don't want to struggle like this anymore...
I just wanted to share this information to you guys, even though I don't really get enough people to check on me except a select few, I worry for my success not for the popular status.
thank you guys for reading this... hope and pray for the best for me....
3 weeks, 2 days ago
25 Jul 2019 12:21 CEST