*This is the internet: success is measured in how few hours of sleep you got last night.
*'Man, I am really in the mood to fuck a baby tonight. Not 'make love'; FUCK. I wanna FUCK me a baby. Newborn! With the umbilical cord still attached, man! I wanna just RIP that fucking shit UP!!!'
*Few things are funnier than a guy with a gallery full of gay incestuous dragon scat art complaining that he doesn't like seeing lactating midget hamster art. Or vice versa.
*I had a friend tell me he had a Christian girlfriend. I asked him, 'Does she ever scream out, 'Oh God! Oh God!' when she cums? And if so, do you get jealous?'
*I just realized; 'crepuscular' is one of the most awful-looking words I have ever seen in my life.
*1)I like when you draw CLAMS.
2)I wish you drew more CLAMS ON MOTORCYCLES.
*GUY 1: Man, I'd hate to be an Indian or Pakistani; all those snipers.
GUY 2: Um, those red dots aren't from snipers.
GUY 1: Laser pointers?
*This is an extremely sick thought and I'm aware of that. But what if, just before a big earthquake, there was this amputee fetishist. Just one. And then one day they wake up and their legs are crushed to goo under a supermarket. And they think, "ALLRIIIIIGHT!!"
*D'you think that every now and then some Olympic athlete will sit at home and jerk off wearing only their gold medals? I'm sure it's happened at least once.
*They should have a new feminine hygiene product called CUNT GUNK.
Their slogan could be, 'Hey! Why not buy some GUNK for your CUNT?'
*Dear Dr. Christian Science Guy:
What is poop?
from little Jonny.
It's little concentrated piles of sin coming out of your ass.
love, Dr. Christian Science Guy
ANUS EATING can be NAUSEATING!
*I did not mean to make you cry; it was oniontentional.
*Here's a fun question: Do you think more people masturbate to pictures of Jesus or the Devil?
*MY RESPONSE TO SOME DOUCHEBAG I WAS HAVING AN ARGUMENT WITH ONLINE:
If I had a hypocrisy fetish, my boner would be a danger to airplanes right now.
*I don't have any child pornography on my computer, but I do have some sexually explicit photos of ham.
*'What's the opposite of a nipple? Oh, right! A belly-button!'
*Q: What would men use if they got periods?
A: Bachelor pads.
7 years ago
16 Apr 2012 03:21 CEST