Hoo boy... what a ride. To summarize, it's been a month and a half of hell, but it's finally over. I couldn't hold out until my colonoscopy appointment due to my colon becoming completely blocked, and I ended up needing immediate emergency surgery. The pain leading up to this was excruciating. It's been four days since my surgery and I'm doing okay, currently recovering at my parents' house, but man, this has been the worst and most painful month of my life. It'll be a few more weeks before I'm back to normal.
Now for the long version...
I had a surgery to remove my appendix on May 10th, following some minor pain. Everything went well, and I was discharged the same day, though they did tell me there was an "anomaly" that would require some follow-up investigation with a colonoscopy. For the first two days I felt great, but then the real pain began. Every day since then I've had daily pain, though it varied in intensity and frequency (usually a five-minute spike every 2 hours), mostly in the form of excruciating gas pain. This was also accompanied by lots of blood in my stool, which I later found out was leakage directly from my lipoma. Pretty icky.
Based on my consultations, I thought I'd just have to deal with it until my colonoscopy appointment on June 24th, a full month and a half after my initial surgery. Well, on June 18th all hell broke loose and I was in absolutely constant pain to the point where I couldn't sleep, and had no choice but to go to the ER. It took a few hours for me to be admitted, but they gave me some morphine to take the edge off while they ran some basic tests. They concluded that I was most likely having severe cramps and they prescribed me a muscle relaxant to help relieve the pain until my colonoscopy. I wasn't too sure about that, but I had already dealt with this pain every day for more than a month, so I figured this was just a flare-up. I didn't suspect anything was terribly wrong and went home. I couldn't sleep again that night, even with the meds they gave me.
The next day, I was in absolute agony, and it was clearly obvious that my bowel was obstructed. Every time pain built up on my left side, my lower gut would gurgle upwards, which was followed by my upper gut gurgling downwards in a horrible tug-of-war. It didn't take long before I got nauseous (for the first time since my first surgery), which was followed by me promptly vomiting blood. Turns out, my gut was so blocked, the blood leaking from my lipoma made its way all the way up my gut, through my stomach, and I was vomiting it out the wrong end. Words cannot describe this level of suffering. At this point, I would definitely have preferred the kidney stones.
I went back to the ER, and I think right away the hospital staff realized they screwed up big time. I was immediately taken in with no delay and given morphine, while they started me on oral contrast for a new CT scan. The pain killer barely made a difference, but it was enough to tide me over for the two hours it takes for the contrast to work its way through my intestine.
My new CT scan showed that I had gone terribly downhill since my last CT scan. Turns out, I had a serious infection and my gut was all swollen, which elevated my lipoma from a restriction to an all-out blockage. I was immediately taken away for a colectomy, which is a procedure to remove a bowel obstruction which may involve removing a portion of the colon. In my case, only a very small portion needed to be removed.
The procedure itself it quite fascinating. First, they make some small laparoscopic incisions and insert a camera, as well as attach an ultrasonic scanner. This lets them know how large of a working incision to make. They then cut the colon from the abdominal wall and pull it through the main incision outside the body, where they actually remove the obstruction. Once the bad stuff is cut away, they then tuck everything back inside and close you up with Dermabond, which is literally a medical-grade superglue. The total length of my main incision is two and a quarter inches long. Amazing.
Waking up from the anesthesia was much harder this time, as I was under for longer. Also, I didn't have the memory loss that I did in my last surgery, and I remember dreaming for about an hour and a half before I started waking up. It was weird.
I had barely opened my eyes and was trying to focus when this energetic young girl, one of the doctor's assistants, had her phone in my face, gleefully showing me a photo of the lipoma that they had just taken out. She obviously enjoyed her work, as she was beaming with pride over that sickly glob. It was larger than 2cm in diameter and looked like a meatball, fresh off a plate of spaghetti with sauce and everything. If I were anyone else I'd have been freaked out, but in that moment the geek in me woke up and I couldn't help but smile in fascination along with that lady. Thankfully, I managed to get a better look at the photo the next day. It was gross, and it was also so cool.
The mass has been sent off to the pathology department for a biopsy, but it's almost guaranteed to be a benign fatty lipoma, which is quite common, so it's not likely to come back. I've already been told it has probably been there for a few decades and only flared up when I had the first infection that destroyed by appendix. The second infection was caused by an infestation of C. Diff, which is a common infection that happens after receiving a heavy dose of antibiotics.
For the first time in a month and a half, I finally had no pain. Well, except for the catheter. Oh gosh, that thing really sucked and was clearly the worst thing about my post-op experience.
They decided to keep me for two nights for observation and start a probiotic treatment to help keep me from developing another post-op infection. I guess they weren't taking chances this time. Overall, everything went nicely and I barely had any pain both inside and out, which I found amazing even though I was still on mild pain killers. The next day I was up and about, walking at a snail's pace, trying desperately not to tug on my catheter. I then had the biggest poop of my life. I mean, wow... I didn't even think there was that much room inside my body.
Amazingly, since then things have been pretty uneventful. My belly is still swollen, especially my incision area, but I have no major pain, the hospital food was decent if surprisingly sugary, and I got to watch some cable TV, which I haven't really watched in ten years or so. Ironically I spent a lot of time watching the food channel (mostly Guy Fieri and his diner excursions), and chanced upon a Captain America movie marathon, none of which I had seen yet. Not a bad way to pass the time.
Of course, shortly before they discharged me, they did have to pull out my catheter. I asked the nurse, "Should I hold my breath for this?" She seemed a bit puzzled but assured me it wouldn't be that bad. OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! THE BURNING!!! Thankfully it only hurts in the last inch near the tip, but man does it hurt to have anything moving around inside your dick. I swear I can still feel it several days later. I don't ever want to have prostate problems. I feel really bad for anyone who needs regular catheter treatment.
So anyway, I'm now feeling fine about four days after my surgery. I'm able to sit at the computer in short stints and walk around the house without any pain, and I'm having regular if mushy bowel movements. It's such a relief, and I never thought it'd be such a pleasant privilege to fart and poop. Small things matter after you've been to hell and back.
Having endured so much boredom for the last few weeks, I have new motivation to get going with art again, though it may be a week or so before I can sit long enough to actually do anything. Take that with a grain of salt, though, since you all know how bad I am at keeping promises and how often I talk out my ass. Still, I'd like to leave my ass to what it's supposed to do. It feels great to be alive, so I think I owe it to all of you to get some new material done. For starters, I want it to be canon for Wac and Tawny to have a new baby this year (which they've been planning for a while), and there's a picture I wanted to post last month to commemorate the event.
Thanks for listening, and giving all the encouragement over the last few weeks. I appreciate all the concerned messages and well wishes people have sent me. Hopefully, I'll be healthy enough so I won't need any more. 8)
