I'm still struggling to escape the black dog of long-term depression, and as dormant parts of my psyche are gradually reviving, some odd results arise.
For the first time in a very long time, today I found myself /wanting/ a thing. Usually, I'm quite content with what I have, and classically stoic about what I can't; after all, my life is much better than, say, a 16th-century French peasant's. But my browsing has just brought me to the two rodent Venetian masks shown at https://www.flickr.com/photos/flatworldsedge/5255475917... and at https://www.flickr.com/photos/flatworldsedge/5123591774... , and I can't stop my thoughts from turning back to them again and again.
Those pictures are eight years old, and those particular masks aren't listed on the store's website ( http://www.cadelsolmascherevenezia.com/en/masks/27 ); and I have neither access to a 3D printer nor the skills to turn those jpegs into a 3d-printable file; nor the social network to get in touch with anyone who could do anything of the sort.
And yet, I want.
It's been long enough since I wanted something I don't have that it feels like a new emotion to me, and I suspect I'm wallowing more in the experience-of-wanting than I actually want a mask. But hey, there are lots of worse things that could happen to me than that, so I figure it's still a win. :)
Interesting situation you find yourself in. I've never been so far from want as to find it unfamiliar. How did you get to that state?
Oh and to the depression, I recently came out of one and realized that during my depression I had forgotten that exercise is a good way to defeat it. I mention it in case you forgot also, or didn't know.
Interesting situation you find yourself in. I've never been so far from want as to find it unfamilia
> Interesting situation you find yourself in. I've never been so far from want as to find it unfamiliar. How did you get to that state?
Anhedonia, not getting any pleasure out of doing anything, has a subtle tendency to lead to feeling that "going out and doing X" or "going out and getting Y" will result in the exact same quality-of-life as not getting involved in X or Y, so even the most minor reasons to avoid either are good enough to skip them. Silly but intended to be relatable example: If you literally don't feel any sense of accomplishment for making your bed, then why bother spending any time or effort on it?
> Oh and to the depression, I recently came out of one and realized that during my depression I had forgotten that exercise is a good way to defeat it. I mention it in case you forgot also, or didn't know.
I've heard that one before, but haven't noticed any mood improvements from it in the past. Still, now that the spring temperatures are finally comfortable, I plan on doing a lot of hiking. (Well, as soon as my recent back-strain finishes healing enough so that my hips stop complaining after less than a kilometre. But that's an entirely different issue. :) )
> Interesting situation you find yourself in. I've never been so far from want as to find it unfamil
I see! Sounds like it's a result of long term depression more than a lifestyle choice. My own depression comes and goes in waves, so I've never had a single bout long enough to reach a state like that.
As for the excercise, I think the idea is similar to cutting. It helps in the short term by hurting your body with exercise and getting a hit of your body's chemical response. I'm not sure though.
Good luck in the hiking!
I see! Sounds like it's a result of long term depression more than a lifestyle choice. My own depres
