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Am I not allowed to be happy?...

It seems...every time in my life, when I'm at a high point. Fate has something there waiting for me, to blind side me. To drag me back into a pit of despair, anxiety and depression.

Tonight, I lost a high school classmate, a neighbour, and a close friend. Shot and killed. A young positive soul, looking to make an impact in his community and to his family...The first in his family to become a race boat captain... Lost to some fucking punk with a gun...SOME COWARD, WHO SHOT AND KILLED THE WRONG PERSON, BUT NOW A FAMILY IS SUFFERING. I AM SUFFERING! ALL BECAUSE YOU FEEL THAT YOU HAVE THE PRIVILEGE....THAT YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO END ANOTHER PERSONS LIFE ON A WHIM!!

FUCK YOU!!
Fuck this...
Fuck my life right now...

Why can't I just be happy...I can't stand this much longer.

It's starting to kill me...

Viewed:	97 times
Added:	5 years, 3 months ago 11 Jan 2019 02:33 CET

14 Comments on this Journal

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Werewolfknight

5 years, 3 months ago

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i never have a love in my life but i feel your pain

fibs

5 years, 3 months ago

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Holy shit. A friend of yours got fucking shot?

That's awful. D:

KaiMaster07

5 years, 3 months ago

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*sends you all the virtual hugs*

Weiss

5 years, 3 months ago

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Death is...always something super tricky to deal with and everyone deals with it differently. Me i shrug it off and don't let it get to me too much, though i can't possibly know what it's like to be in that particular situation. If it's any comfort to you, the killer will most likely be punished for what he did, even though i don't believe prison nor the justice system actually changes anyone for the better, but punishment WILL come. As for it killing you, all i can really say is be strong and don't let it get to you. Find something to get your mind off it, something to motivate you to go on and remember that it will get easier with time, i've been trough that myself(death of a loved one i mean). You mourn, you suffer, you cry and eventually you move on and the pain just...goes away. But the one thing, the single thing you absolutely can NOT do is let the depression take over. Because if it does, if you find yourself drowning in a swamp, getting out of it will be much harder. If i was a religious person i would be praying for you. Since i'm not all i can say is don't loose hope, don't loose your strength

Ravi

5 years, 3 months ago

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I can only wish that your friend's family to hold steadfest in their and your trying times. And for you to stay strong for them and for yourself. Losing someone like that isn't easy. Its god damn hard. But if your friend is the kind of person I can only imagine, he'd want you to stay strong. He'd want his family to stay strong.

Best wishes to you and everyone.

KurisuTJ

5 years, 3 months ago

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I know what you are going through, it is hard to want to live after you lost so many people in your life. I use to think, why? why does this have to happen to such good people? Best thing to do is to keep their memory alive in our hearts and think of all the good times we had with the ones we loved.

DurradonXylles

5 years, 3 months ago

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I'm sorry, man. I can't say I know what it's like to lose a friend like this, but I know what it's like to lose several loved ones. Don't you think for a second you don't deserve to be happy. All I can offer you is my deepest condolences, and a virtual hug. *hugs*

RushTheWolf

5 years, 3 months ago

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I'm sorry for your loss... That's just not fair...This is why I think the world has gone to shit!! It's bullshit like this that makes the world hell... I hope your friend's family stays strong...As well as you.

KAIJUfreak

5 years, 3 months ago

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Goddamn that's really horrible. I'm really sorry that happened.

aSmartBoy

5 years, 3 months ago

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Oh dear no. I’m sorry for what happened. I would feel awfully depressed if a friend or a member of my family was killed. Take as much time as you need, let some steam out. But please, do not let negativity take over you. And do not forget about you friends and family. And by that, I mean the positive things.

Robinebra

5 years, 3 months ago

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I know the pain. I had a friend from high school who I lost contact with after entering senior high. I later learned that he had died from throat cancer at the age of 18. Life sucks sometimes.

Esitaro3670

5 years, 3 months ago

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I am deeply sorry to hear about what happened, but please, as bad what happened to your friends, please don't think about killing yourself, that's not the solution, please think about you're other friends, you're family, the peope who cares and thinks of you

KyrieEleison

5 years, 3 months ago

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Holy shit, that's just awful. Really sorry to hear about that.

Keep your chin up, and stay strong with the people that are still there. You can't do much about it now, but it's easier if you face that together.