Hi. Some of you already noticed that I was gone for a long while, not posting anything or replying to messages.
I'm sorry if I made you worry with my absence. Initially I wasn't able to draw, because I got sick and spent a long while in bed, trying to recover. Later on I got better and got back to drawing, but then... Well, I won't go into too many details, but I had problems with my mental state. My self esteem dropped drastically, I hated on myself and on every kind of art I was making. I couldn't bring myself to draw even the simplest of sketches with my characters, and when I tried drawing commissions, I got myself even more nervous and riled up, because in that state I made myself believe that everyone will just get disappointed with the results and in me personally. It wasn't nice. I even considered trying to get enough money to repay the people who bought from me, but I'm not in a good place financially, so that was out of question.
Eventually I got so nervous about disappointing people, that I stopped opening IB, because I was so afraid of people already being angry with me (even though nobody was!)
Low self-esteem and paranoia can do terrible things to your thinking patterns.
So.... It's been a while, and just as suddenly as I dropped into that state, I've managed to climb out of it. I'm much better now, and while I still feel guilty for abandoning my account and making all of you wait for that long, I also feel pretty stupid for me overreacting to stuff that technically didn't even happen. I need to work on myself and become a happier, stronger person.
And, well, yeah. Just wanted to announce that I'm back, and am working on the commissions again. I've got some of them finished already, but my Internet traffic will be limited for the next couple of days, so it'll take a little longer for me to upload them. But I'm kinda happy with how they turned out, and I hope you will be as well :3
I'll also answer your messages once I'm back. It takes way too long to load an IB page atm, and it's really hard to check my mail.
Sorry for the inconvenience, guys!
P. S. Don't ever hate yourself. Ever. No matter what goes on in your life. You're great people, and all of you deserve lots and lots of love. Every single one of you.
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5 years, 4 months ago
19 Dec 2018 21:43 CET
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