I was reading a journal of a friend of mine how it seemed his parents were giving him a bunch of crap due to him having told them that he was Bi at some point. I won't go into details so as to repsect his privacy, but I am sure there have been others who have come out and revealed their sexual orientation to others and have it backfire.
I have my thoughts on why perhaps parents and maybe even those you may label as friends, may suddenl;y be weirded out or act differently due to the aspects of suddenly knowing something different about you they didn't know despite the fact that this revelation does not change who they are as a person.
It is unfortunate that those who are bi/gay of or some other sexual orientation label that is not "Normal" aka "Straight" in society's terms, have to deal with s much crap. One would think that perhaps you'd be safe in revealing this aspect of who you are as a person family & close friends, but unfortunatly, it seems that is not always the case.
I suspect the reasoning why parents and those who are friends may "freak out" may not be due to the act itself, but overly worrying about how others in society would view them in relation to theperson who "came out" with whatever it was they did.
I suspect that when it comes from a parental aspect, the parents may overly worry what their friends or other family members may say or think of them. Perhaps saying hateful things like "How could you allow your child to be like that. You must not have raised them right." <insert other similar things or statements here> I think because they are so worried about this, that their fear and worry or a shift in societal standards and ranking or position or something similar, may perhaps unintentionally transform their emotions to be directed in a way that would be labeled as negative or hurtful. It probably doesn't matter whether the child in question is of their own "flesh & blood" or adopted.
It is quite unfortunate when aspects of when family or friends say "We will always be there for you" turns out to have turned into a lie the instant you tell them of your sexual orientation.
That is why for me, even when I do figure out my own sexual orientation, I won't tell my parents or friends really. It is not really their or anyone else's business, you know? Only between oneself and maybe any friends/partners you may have. heck, maybe not even friends really. Then again, I have no knoweldge about aspects of relationships that well due to never having been in any myself. So maybe I could be wrong about the aspects of ones personal love/sexual life may somehow "bleed over" into other areas of life.
For me, I consider myself both pan sexual and at the same time perhaps nonsexual. It is somewhat hard to explain really. Feel free to ask me about it if you are curious and I'll do my best to explain.
Anywho, to those of you who read this no matter what sexual orientation you are, do not feel bad about it or let others put you down. You are you. Don't let others walk all over you or force you to be something you don't want to be just because the society may not agree with it.
Of course, I know I shouldn't have to say this, even though I know some may say stuff, but this rule applies to things that are legal only. Anything illegal obviously is not good and illegal for some reason or another.
So, yeah. Maybe this will help others not feel so bad, maybe not. Heck if I know. If this has helped anyone or given them some form of positive emotional boost, then I am glad.
And to parents or friends of someone who may have treated someone you knew like crap due to them opening up to you in this way, do your best to perhaps get over society's bullcrap and make up for your hurtful actions. After all, why should your opinion of the person change just because they revealed that aspect. They are the same person you liked, cared about & loved. They just shared a personal bit of info to you. I would assume that they are in some form of pain because of actions you may have done to them in a time of biochemical surge for one reason or another. So, do you best to make up if you did something like "Disowning" or something as it may make them not feel so alone.
I wish all of you the best no matter your path in life. We need to try and support one another, not be fighting each other.
Anywho, tiredness is rearing it's head and making me lose focus. Talk to all of you later and best of luck in life for you, loved ones, pets & etc ok?
7 years, 9 months ago
12 Dec 2010 09:41 CET