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Exelzior

How do you move on?

No, I' not dead, just got creative deadlock.

So, for a while there, it seemed like I had managed to get the last box checked, I was finally gonna get laid, the one thing I still feel I lack in life would be gone. And today she up and texts me she's got cold feet, and now I don't know what the hell to do, or what to feel for that matter. I want to be angry, or sad, or something, but with years of bad luck under my belt I feel nothing, just empty. And I don't know how to move on.

Anyone got any tips?
Viewed: 32 times
Added: 5 years, 4 months ago
 
SouthpawSixshooter
5 years, 4 months ago
All that because someone didn't immediately want to have sex with you? That's why you're in a panic?
Exelzior
5 years, 4 months ago
Mostly it's because I'm clocking in at 30 in about 2 years and haven't had sex, which isn't helped by the fact that dating can get harder the older I get and things are expected of me that I cannot live up to. Look, I understand that I may come of as cringey, but I need to be able to express my feelings the way they are. So yes, maybe I am a little panicky.
SouthpawSixshooter
5 years, 4 months ago
Rushing the matter isn't going to make it happen either. And you're the same age as I am and I've never had a single successful date. You've got time.
zyfer
5 years, 4 months ago
Don't feel too bad.. I'm pretty much in the same situation as far as sexlife goes and actually probably worse because i haven't really even got near them.

Being 30+ and virgin/single seems to be the norm anymore. Don't worry we'll get laid eventually one way or another...
PapaDragon69
5 years, 4 months ago
I'm sorry to hear that.
Exelzior
5 years, 4 months ago
It'll get better eventually, but still, thanks for the sympathies.
Daneasaur
5 years, 4 months ago
I can help.

First thing I'll tell you: Sex without any emotion behind it is worse than masturbating. It may feel nice but if you just want the dong to feel good, you're much better off getting a stroker of some sort and lube.

Second is simply socialize. There are places and hang-out areas where you can meet people with similar interests. Be bold, step forward, chat to someone.

The fact the gal backed out is good in the long run. You do NOT want sex with someone who is scared about it, and NEVER try to have sex with a gal who's never masturbated to climax. Yes, they exist and are FAR more common than they should be.

But the number one thing is to not panic. Yes it's frustrating but when you finally do get to experience it, it'll all make sense in how society puts it on a pedestal but it isn't all it was cracked up to be.
Exelzior
5 years, 4 months ago
Oh, she wasn't inexperienced, and there was genuine emotion involved. It's just, we hadn't seen each other for about 2 weeks now due to her having family over, and in that time I guess she changed her mind about the sex part.

That's the thing though, I'm panicking because I'm twenty-god-damn-eight and I haven't got to experience it, and I want to be able to do at least something before I hit my thirties and the world basically declares me unworthy of everything (yes, I rant now, but that's really how it feels to be getting older these days)
Daneasaur
5 years, 4 months ago
I'm older than you by about 4 years, so don't fret. You're not actually declared "useless", you're actually just as desirable as someone in their mid twenties. If you've been even moderately taking care of your body, you'd be lusted after. Just a week ago I had a lady about 12 years younger than I unable to stop flirting all because I started chatting with her about pokemon of all things.

But honestly, calm yourself, find your center. if she intends on making good on it, she'll bring it up again, but if she keeps stringing you along and excuses pop up, I'd advise you to be wary.

Feel free to talk to me if you're confused about things. ^^
TrunksXV
5 years, 4 months ago
I would say that neither of you are even ready for that. Even though yeah we'd all like to get laid, its pretty much something that should be for someone whose not going to leave you no matter what. And it seems like this gal is gonna leave you at the drop of a hat.

What's the point after you get laid, and then she walks out the door at the first opportunity?

And who knows she may not even want to be with you to start with. She maybe just playing you for the attention and the drug it brings. Sounds to me that getting laid, is not really what its cracked up to be long term, especially if it results in pregnancy or an STD or something that will leave you feeling even emptier.

I've never been laid, I've never had a real girlfriend. Probably won't at this point. But I'm gonna finish college and try and find a better job, and who knows maybe i'll bump into someone.

Keep trying, or even try the MGTOW philosophy.
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