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CaitlinTheLucario

I Need To Say This [Update 9/2/18]

I wanna make this about as clear as day. 2018 sucks. Throughout this year, thank god it's a quarter over with; we've lost our dog, my grandmother's been diagnosed with an aggressive brain cancer and had to be sent to a care unit for medical and obvious reasons and I've honestly been nothing but stressed out throughout this year.

I've tried to distract myself with everything I knew how, but I'm honestly so stressed out and possibly depressed about all this, I'm emotionally detached to everything at this point.

I wanna visit my grandmother as much as I can 'cause we dunno how long she's gonna last. Realistically speaking, she may not last prior to my B-day or Christmas and it's depressing as hell. I'm scared to visit her at the care unit now because she has dementia and when someone has that, they'll say things they don't mean or say things that never happened.

I dunno how I'm feeling at this point; I wanna cry but I can't, I wanna vent but I'm scared to be screamed at, yelled at, or scolded for it.

I had to vent about this through a journal because this is how I'm feeling. I'm stuck with most of the housework now and almost can't get anyone to help me out even though physically I'm capable of it all, but emotionally and physically I'm not.

I don't know if I'm scared or depressed, but I may need something to at least give me some closure. I didn't visit my granddad when he was sick with lung cancer and agent orange, and now I'm scared to see my grandmother because of all she has now.

Sorry, everyone, but I had to let all this out and all of this off my chest. Hopefully, I'll feel better tomorrow or next week or the week after, I dunno what the future will hold at this point and I'm already preparing myself for disappointment and misery for what I know is going to happen.

But one thing I do know is that things are going to get better.
Viewed: 6 times
Added: 5 years, 6 months ago
 
roninhunt0987
5 years, 6 months ago
-hugs-
RioluFan2001
5 years, 6 months ago
I'm so sorry, Caitlin. *hugs* Is there anything we can do? ÓnÒ
CaitlinTheLucario
5 years, 6 months ago
Being here for me during these times of hardships is enough help there is. *hugs back*
RioluFan2001
5 years, 6 months ago
Alright, Caitlin. *nuzzles you gently*
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