So I've got a job interview coming up, basically, and I'm not sure whether or not I'm looking forward to it - it's not the typical interview, you see. I've, you know, had job interviews before, I don't live under a rock.
I received some very interesting instructions: "Dress as you would for a job interview."
Oh, really? Golly, I never would've guessed.
I hate dressing up in any way. I'm not a formal person, and I'm not a business-casual person. Put me in a suit and I'll have no idea what to do with myself, it's like sticking a rabid cat in a burlap sack. It just doesn't work out very well and it would get you glared at in public.
I could bear with it for my mate's wedding, but that still took about four hours of fierce combat wherein I almost got strangled by a tie that had grown tired of its lot in life and wanted to move on to bigger things.
So here I am, I've got all my crap together for this interview, and none of it fucking fits me. And I look like The Joker if he was attending the high school formal that finally bereft him of his sanity and set him on his crusade against Batman and remotely fashionable menswear.
I'm also thinking, "you know, what would you do if you had not a fucking clue what it means to 'dress as you would for a job interview'?"
You or I can Google that. If you're religious, you probably have some starchy suit that you hold in utter resentment. If you were unfortunate enough to have a massive cow teaching you the oxymoronically titled "Work Studies" course at high school, you likely were told at some point.
We know, or can learn quite quickly, what that means. Not everyone has those advantages - and everywhere I turn, I see more and more "advantaged" people with no fucking idea when or how to use the internet to answer their questions.
There are quite a lot of these little things you likely hear all the time and understand, but you never stop and think: "When the living hell did I pick that up? When the gormless bitch behind the counter asks me for paper or plastic, how do I know she's not asking me how I'd like my groceries bagged or how I like my condoms constructed?"
Well, all I know is that I'm still a tad busy. It took me an epoch and a half just to find a "business" shirt that doesn't hang off me like a misplaced ship's sail on a scarecrow.
6 years, 10 months ago
12 Mar 2012 12:39 CET