The 17th of June is my 28th birthday, today I turned 28 years old and things were sort of good. Since my mom and dad have been divorced for a while and my dad got remarried a while back, lets just say that my dad and his side of the family and the step mom are impossible to get along with and they make everything seem like they're all about themselves, even if it's all about someone whose not them.
So I celebrated my birthday with my dad for half a day, and things were, well, I sort of knew that it would be a train wreck before I arrived there since in the past, they've made my birthdays a train wreck before. I'm grateful they celebrated my birthday and all, I got some cards from them and money. But somehow, if it's all about you for one day, it's like they can't stand it and want it to be all about them and that's that. They didn't have any sort of food I like to eat, since my grandparents, my dad's parents, are British, they do eat foods that I guess you can say they're familiar with, although, they don't always make food from their country, some of it was stuff that people in America or people from all over the world eat, egg salad for example, people from all nations eat that so that's one example of that not all foods they make are foreign food.
For starters, they didn't have a candle for the cake. The cake tasted good, it was a sour cream cake, but it looked more like an angel food cake with icing drizzled all over it, but from what it looks like, it sort of makes you think of breakfast food like how waffles with syrup is like, which it still tasted good. But when they had no candle, I asked them where the candle was at, my grandma told me that they didn't have any candles. A birthday cake isn't a birthday cake without at least one candle, right, and when I told them that I "Feel a bit awkward that there isn't a candle on the cake because we all know it's tradition to all birthdays" and one of my uncle's friends had the nerve to get a small and puny match and both my uncle's friend, my sister and my grandma sarcastically said "There you go" what kind of people treat someone like that on their birthday? But don't blame my uncle for any of this, my uncle knows some people who even he knows are not very nice to people and my uncle always tries to make people he knows to be nice, and my uncle has friends he gets along with, sure, but there's times when my uncle knows someone or more that are not very nice people. How my uncle's friend got invited, me and him have no idea.
It seems as though my dad and his side of the family are, forgive me for saying this if it offends anyone, but it's like they're Nazis, if you open your mouth to complain or say anything they don't like seeing or hearing, they twist your words into something you never said or did and put words into your mouth. And they blame you for it. I mean it's my birthday, and they didn't have the candles for the cake, gave me lip for even mentioning it, they didn't have anything I liked to eat, when I at one or more times what I like to eat, such as if I told them my favorite ice cream, which is rainbow sherbet, my grandma said it's too bland and all she ever has is vanilla, I HATE vanilla, it's bland and boring. I told them what I like to eat when celebrating my birthday and they never have that there. They only have what they like, it's my birthday, not theirs.
My dad and his side of the family are always like this when it's my birthday, they only have what they like to eat and not what I like. My grandma could simply get me a pint of rainbow sherbet for me and I'd be the only one eating it and not her, and they could at least ask me what I like to eat when celebrating my birthday so they can have what I like to eat, but they only seem to have what they like. If you tell them anything, especially if it's something you want, or something that you tell them not to say, do or what ever, it's like they don't listen and they don't pay attention on purpose. And they used to plan birthdays and holidays days ahead of time but one day it's like they forgot how to do that and I am always the last to know what they're planning, they used to tell me days ahead of time, but now they tell me at the last second when I'm not ready and I'd be the last to know anything. It seems as though the only voices they want to hear is the one that comes out of their mouths and the voices that are in their own empty, thoughtless, selfish, self-centered, tone deaf. stubborn, arrogant and prideful heads.
The way it all went was like they didn't plan it or they just so happened to have remembered at the last minute and only concocted a birthday in fifteen minutes and didn't plan or prepare for it within days or weeks like it should be. I mean sure, I'm turning 28 and I don't expect a big surprise ( because I hate surprises ) I don't expect something as big as a big after party like them celebrities do, I didn't expect anything that big but the least they could've done was remember the candle or at least plan the birthday party days or a week ahead of time, right? But when ever it's any of their birthdays, they plan and prepare like they had come up with it all in a week which that's sort of selfish in some ways, but even when they celebrate their birthdays, sure, they don't do anything too big like a celebrity after party, they just do something small like go out to eat or celebrate it at the house of who ever the family member is. Sure I should be grateful they celebrated and remembered my birthday and all, but it look like they poorly planned everything within fifteen minutes, planning things at the last second never results well, but if you plan it for at least a week, you get better results and you have time to plan and prepare. It's like they don't know me at all, even after 28 years of my life, they still don't know me. It's like this whole time, if I speak or do anything, they black out or go deaf, but if the voice is coming from their mouth and their heads, they hear it loud and clear. Who does that?
And my grandma made a fat joke at my mom's expense and I caught her in that and she had the nerve to make a joke about my age that in two years, I'll be 30 which no one likes to be reminded. If you give them a taste of their own medicine, they don't want to see or hear it, even when you have every right to lash back out at them, than they will say or do something out of precious, petty, vengeance. It's like teenagers in adult clothing sometimes. They all have been this way the whole time I knew them, since my dad and his side of the family are dysfunctional, they're stuck in their own old ways which is they're fault. And it's like if you say nothing or don't react negatively, than they will never know how horrible they are and how they need to change or end up in the fire ( metaphorically speaking ) but if you say something or react, than your the bad guy, and they make jokes at your expense and they blame you when really, they're to blame. They blame everyone and everything but themselves. I mean they probably were not being this way on purpose but they keep doing this to me all the time, but never to each other, just because I'm not like them.
Sometimes, you wonder, if you had a choice, would you choose to make them change for good in the way that seems like a tough love method by giving them the toughest ultimatum of their lives and if they don't change, than have nothing to do with them for the remainder of your life or give them shock treatments with ten billion volts of electricity to their heads, your better off kicking them out of your lives and limit your time to talking to them over the phone and only call them if you need a ride somewhere. Which I live with my mom for a reason, away from them ( this isn't a rant, or this isn't meant to be a rant, I am just saying how I feel about this from how they've been to people for years )
I'm nothing like them, than goodness for that. So when I got home to my mom, me and my celebrated my birthday and celebrating my birthday with my mom is actually a better choice since she knows me better than they do ( probably because me and my mom are very close and are a lot alike and we both know what we like since we got to know each other because it's what a family should be like ) at least my mom had a candle for my birthday cake. I know it's sort of a pipe dream but sometimes I wonder if anyone feels the same way like others do by wanting to be part of a picture perfect family like the Tanner family from Full House, sometimes I would like that for me and my mom, it's not that we don't have a good family or anything, my mom's side of the family are good people but I haven't seen them in a while, and my mom hasn't seen many of them in a while too, but my mom does talk to some of them on Facebook ( yep, my mom also joined Facebook like many others ) and you know, I see picture perfect families in sitcoms like Full House and wonder, even if we had it close to being that good, would it make our lives any different than they are today, or would it be the same? It's sort of fun to imagine it.
Anyway, when I celebrated my birthday with my mom, I felt like everything was done right and things were smoothed over, sure I talked to my mom about it all and she felt the same way I did and knew that they could've done a better job at celebrating my birthday. So feel free to wish my a happy birthday, and if you wish me a happy birthday by the time it's been a day or more after my birthday, than you can still wish my a happy birthday if you want to. Sorry I was ranting about how my birthday was on my dad's side of the family, even though when I got home to my mom and celebrated my birthday with her and things got better with her, still, sorry for ranting, I felt like if I didn't let this out, I'd explode like a nuclear bomb that would take out half the country and I didn't want to go off on an innocent person just because I kept it to myself and one day had it boil over. Just like one of my high school teachers told me, better to let it out immediately than to keep it inside and let it fester.
