I keep saying I want to make a presence again. I want to actually TRY to exist to my friends and loved ones again, as I used to. @_@ But I'm really, REALLY doing a bad job at it.
I keep telling you guys I want to come back, make myself known, reconnect with old friends, and even start connecting with new ones. But dang, it is NOT easy. Every time I feel like I've gained back some strength that has been lost in this whirlwind of emotions I've been dealing with, something ends up slowing me down and emotionally stunting me. Enough is enough, and I wish it would end. I miss you guys so badly.
I want to be able to sign on Skype and appear online, And I want to be able to just send a message to everyone and say hi as well. But...for now I still can't entirely see that happening. x.x Every ignored message, and every new emotional trip of something going wrong or off in my life hurts that and makes me shrink back to seclusion once again. It's so old and tiring, and I really do miss everyone.
The reason you guys see me making so many journals so often is simply because, at this point, it's the best way I can convey any messages I have to you guys. It's the best thing I can do to try to communicate because I'm terrible at replying to comments and even almost talking at an interpersonal level. I try though, I really do. And I'm gonna keep on working at getting better.
But whenever I get my life on track, or at the very least find the eye of this seemingly endless storm, I'll try to be there for you, and with you guys once again. Until then, as I have said before and I'll say again, please, do forgive me, because I really am sorry for my lack of communicating with you guys.
6 years, 9 months ago
04 Mar 2012 10:36 CET