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Serrano

Gonna keep this one around this time.

Well, I deleted the other journal to "back up" my comment to [iconname]Laufield[/iconname] because it turned out they didn't feel any need to delete it. Seems things have changed, however, and the following passage was deleted for reasons I can't fathom. This was posted yesterday on this submission, and now I'm sad and angry for even more reasons than before. At least I can't say that Laufield has never acknowledged me anymore.
Still, I can't help but wonder if anything I've done has gotten through. I guess I'll never know, and it's a damn shame that they're so closed-minded about all this shit.

So if nobody wants to address the elephant in the room, I guess I will.
Laufield, I barely know you. I have no clue what your background is, where you come from, what your education was like, how you were raised and treated by your family growing up, the kinds of people you've spent your time and been friends with, or anything like that, so I won't bother going there.
What I do know is that you posted a journal that said you had committed to ending your life, implying you only expected to be breathing for another few hours or even less. I also know that that journal bothered me on an incredibly deep level that I hope others can relate to, because unlike some, I've never had a friend that flat-out tried to and successfully committed suicide. I've had friends that told me they were going to, and I've been lucky enough to talk them out of it or have been able to involve others. This was the first time that I didn't have any of those luxuries, and this was the first time where I was virtually powerless to do anything.
I was sad and I was angry, and I couldn't understand why. I'm still sad and angry, but I think I have a better grasp on the reasons now.
I've seen people call you an attention whore, self-centered and egotistical, but that's not what I see. You certainly have some of those traits, but I still see someone with incredible talent that knows how to put that talent to use and merely struggles with finding inspiration - something we all struggle with.
I'm angry when I see those people abandon you. I can't believe that even in 2018, people don't understand this basic rule of psychology: Punishment does NOTHING to benefit the education of an individual, and this doesn't just apply to you, but even the failed war on drugs. We see staggeringly better results when we offer SUPPORT for a struggling addict compared to shunning and ridiculing them, and we only are learning about this nowadays because it's an inherent flaw in human psychology that hinders progress of all varieties. Only now, are people waking up.
I'm angry because despite everything I've offered to you over the last few weeks, you haven't acknowledged any of the things I've said. Even an emoticon seems to be too much to respond with, or even a "Thanks," but I get it - I'm sure you get messages all the time, and can't respond to everything.
I'm angry because you lied to me. You told us you had already consumed a toxic carcinogen. 31 hours later, long after you should have been dead, you uploaded this: https://inkbunny.net/s/1626816 with a description that reads, "Barron love Laufield <3"
I thought the reason you wanted to hurt yourself was because you felt unloved, and unlovable. I tried to reach out to offer some of my own love when you had people all along. Did something change? Did you realize that those thoughts of suicide were pointless? Why did you say these things when they weren't true?
I hate when people lie to me, and I hate myself when I lie to others. Regardless whether I have good intentions or not, I can't stand the fact that I've done it before still continue to do it to this day.
I guess this means I should stop beating around the bush now.
Bleach? Seriously? Will it be a tide pod next time?
Look, I know I seem really harsh and insensitive right now, but we all are thinking it, and nobody seems to know how to say this properly.
It makes me very sad to know that you feel so upset and so lonely that you need to say these awful things and go out of your way to scare me like that.
I feel sad because you don't want to move on from
Launny
Launny
and
jhussethy
jhussethy
, and I feel both sad and angry that they don't understand that bit about punishment.

What I want you to take away from this message - and I think this will be my final one until you've taken it to heart - is the following:
Grow the hell up. Do what you have to do to get better not because you have to, but because you want to, and you have to want to get better.
Viewed: 22 times
Added: 5 years, 10 months ago
 
Himanshu0709
5 years, 5 months ago
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Serrano
5 years, 4 months ago
Bruh, the fuck?
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