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Kazekai

I hate Braid now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2i1K-79-98

This video made me hate this game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFQDr7ytEeU

This video made me hate it more.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeTQ8UkmmPU

And this one topped it off.

Fuck Braid, I'm never playing it again, it's a piece of shit, the developer is a FUCKING MORON, and I want to punch him square in the face now.

For those who don't want to hate it, don't watch any of those and don't read this next section.
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This game is so HORRIBLY DESIGNED!

No, not the puzzles, they're awesome. In fact, I love the ideas and the variety. In fact, this used to be one of my favorite indie games and was my example of brilliant level design.

But those last stars? I didn't even know they existed! And I have EVERY Steam trophy in the game expect for the speedrun one. And by the way, I consider myself to be great at collect-a-thon games! So, strike number one.

Ok, so having rare hard-to-find shit isn't bad game design, even if the game doesn't so much as hint at their existence. You know what IS bad game design? Making it so you not only have to do the most batshit insane things to get said collectibles, but that you cannot go back and get them again without restarting your entire fucking game! YOU DO NOT DO THAT EVER! When designing a game, if you're going to have rare collectibles, the player should ALWAYS be able to go back at any time and recollect them! Not bad enough? How about having to stand on a fucking cloud for 2 hours! TWO! FUCKING! HOURS! Of STANDING! IN A VIDEO GAME! SERIOUSLY?! "Oh, but that's just ONE bad thing!" You might say. Ok, how about AVOIDING PUTTING A PUZZLE TOGETHER? You know how puzzles are supposed to be put together to progress in the fucking game? Yeah, DON'T put a puzzle together! In fact, don't put TWO puzzles together, for ONE FUCKING STAR! REALLY?! REALLY?!!! Strike number two!

So some people might be ok with this stuff. "Well, it offers a good challenge." Yeah because standing on a fucking cloud for two hours is challenging. But anyway, maybe this doesn't bother some people, maybe some people LIKE cryptic bullshit. Well, how about this cryptic bullshit? You know how those stars make a constellation? Guess what it's supposed to be! The princess blowing up. YES, the fucking princess BLOWING THE FUCK UP. WHAT?!

That last video explains it. This whole fucking story? Yeah, it's not a love story turned into a series of introspection on self-improvement. Well, that was what I thought it was. Dunno what you guys thought it was, but I bet I know what you thought it wasn't, some guy living with the guilt with the fact he caused a NUCLEAR EXPLOSION. Not. Fucking. Kidding. And the princess is supposed to be a BOMB. WHAT? HOW does ANY of this relate to ANY of what went on in that fucking story? NOWHERE does it talk about anything remotely like that! Oh wait, it does, that weird unreadable text in the final books. Wow. That is fucking bullshit.

I'm all for subversion and deep stories, but THAT is BULLSHIT. And I do not consider myself a stupid person, at least not with reading. Considering I managed to translate most of The Odyssey without help, and I was able to understand at least half of Poe's writings in highschool, I think I know how to look at subversion and whatnot. THAT is not a cleverly written story, THAT is completely random! WHO THE FUCK WRITES A STORY LIKE THAT? WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT I AM LOOKING AT RIGHT NOW OH MY GOOOO- *head explodes* Strike number three, BRAID IS OUT!

TL;DR Fuck Braid
Viewed: 10 times
Added: 6 years, 6 months ago
 
TachiKusanagi
6 years, 6 months ago
You do know that you can save your current game in one of three save-slots and start over without losing your progress? Also, playing through Braid swiftly takes less than 45 minutes (the Speed-Run time) if you know all puzzles by heart. So starting over is really no big deal.

Perhaps I just see it like that because I've played through Binding of Isaac a dozen times, and one playthrough is roughly an hour.
Kazekai
6 years, 6 months ago
You should never have to restart your data to collect shit in a game. Not being able to obtain items after a certain point is like breaking the number one rule of Minecraft kind of bad, it should never be done. Look at Zelda, when was the last time that game forced you to restart it just to get a certain item? Not to mention waiting two hours on a cloud isn't my idea of challenging gameplay.

Some of those puzzles were a pain in the ass the first time, like the ones you have to get those brown things past the plants, I hated those, I'm pissed the game would not only make me do those and several other ones that I did not enjoy again, but that getting some of the stars is excessively difficult and sometimes just plain insanity. The game doesn't even show you the stars and I didn't even know I had to collect them until my friend was complaining about not getting the true ending.

Not to mention the story is completely ruined for me now. Nowhere does it even suggest it was about an atomic bomb, except in one quote. How was anyone supposed to know where that quote was from anyway? I liked thinking about the story, I felt like I understood it, now that I know how far off the mark I was, I feel misled and like the meaning was horribly conveyed, and by the time you even see that quote, it's too late to go back and figure out what it means. Who thinks to restart their entire game? I'd have just gone back and scoured the levels and that would've been sufficient for most other games.

Binding of Isaac is a different story, the game is pretty honest about how it has no save function, which is pretty much the one reason why I will probably never play it again, but at least it didn't circle jerk me like Braid's batshit insane story.
MaDrow
6 years, 6 months ago
Hmmm in the video of the game, it looks promising to be played, but after reading this...I think i move on.
Kazekai
6 years, 6 months ago
Any game that makes you restart it to get every collectible is not worth it. I already hate it enough when achievements cannot be obtained after a certain point in games, so having something that actually effects gameplay not be obtainable after a certain point is absolute bullshit.

At least when S3K pulled that crap, they gave you a level select at the end of the game so you could still go back and get missed emeralds.
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