I'll try my best to try to avoid being over-dramatic as I know I am prone to that, as usual a TLDR is available at the bottom.
Some of you may have noticed I haven't been active in a while, and have been inconsistent before that as well. I was not in a good place for a long time due to all kinds of things, but that is more or less over now and it has been for some months. I'm pretty happy and don't stay awake worrying anymore, however I still had a lot to learn about pursuing the things I love. I used to think to "Move on" I had to leave the things in my "old life" behind... maybe I was just scared of them leaving me behind... idk. I've told myself so many time that I just didn't want to draw porn anymore but that wasn't true.
Every time I would think about this channel I'd think of all the bad things I hate that I did; caring so much about how I can get more veiws/fav, releasing stuff as fast as I could, getting angry when things didn't get enough attention,getting super jealous of friends that were more popular then me, and of course getting mad at hate and criticism (which was literately never on my channels I basically seeked it out myself). When I started drawing it was honestly in this misguided hope that it would net me friends and a boyfriend honestly. But regardless of what promoted it I've had fun doing it, and I realize now I want to have this even as I pursue other projects.
Okay enough of this feeling based stuff and onto more concrete stuffs. Lots of people have asked me about commissions and the like over my haitus and I'm honestly surprised and flattered. But it has been a huge sore spot for me for a long time, when I was releasing regularly I was fine doing commissions, but when I wasn't I never wanted to cause I didn't want to just be doing commisions all the time. Having everything releasing on my channel be for profit felt dirty and not at all consistent with what I want this channel to be and what I want to be.
I don't have a plan to get around this really, I've toyed with ideas like just do cheep commissions to not feel dirty (which doesn't really help), to doing all the request (I'd litterly die from the weight of all that).
my favorite idea is of consistent stream were i can take request and tip or commissions live maybe? My speed has gotten waaaaay better (thank you 15 min work breaks) so it might be possible now more then ever. I'd love to hear you suggestion to how I can both make stuff for this channel, Draw stuff you guys want, and still have time to work on other projects.
TLDR;Some sad stuff but I'm back and want to here suggestion of how to handle commissions and stuff a stream maybe???
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5 years, 11 months ago
10 May 2018 08:06 CEST
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