Give your thoughts on the comic! by McFan < Journal | Inkbunny, the Furry Art Community

70 Comments on this Journal

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Harleking

6 years, 1 month ago

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Pretty nice comic. Like the humorous parts mixed into the comic ;)

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ Harleking

I'm glad you liked! I really tried to make it funny, afterall, both characters are supposed to be comic reliefs.

bokkun

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ McFan

They got plenty of relief from the looks of it.

HoppsinCottintail

6 years, 1 month ago

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I really enjoyed the hidden lust he had for the birdy i kind of liked the facted he acted on it i find that kind of thing hot. I dont see anything bad with it really make your wonder at the end diod he like it did he wanna have him do it some more to him couldnt think of how to tell him.. Stuff like that so i feel were i stand i liked it you did an awsome job!

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ HoppsinCottintail

I would find it out of character for Zazu to admit he liked it, or even to talk about it, I think he would just run away x3

HoppsinCottintail

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ McFan

That really is hot and fun to think about i hope you do more stuff with rape thems to it maybe something along the line of your lost lost robinhood stuff more with bunny and him :D HAHA ok i can dream cant i :D

furloverguy84

6 years, 1 month ago

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I'd say that it was very well drawn overall. :)

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ furloverguy84

Thanks =3

furloverguy84

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ McFan

Welcome. :) Please keep up the good work. :)

diudiu

6 years, 1 month ago

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It was awesome comic :). I hope you do something else next time :3

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ diudiu

Thanks ^_^

Alvinfan23

6 years, 1 month ago

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Very good comic you don't see much Zazu, glade you're here to fill the missing porn pictures of him :)

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ Alvinfan23

Yes, one of my objective is to fill the internet with naughty Zazu porn!

GhostOtter

6 years, 1 month ago

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i liked how it turned out, and i hope for a sequel to it at some point.

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ GhostOtter

Glad you liked! Well, I could propose people to vote for a sequel, but the idea I have in mind wouldn't be completely Timon x Zazu.

MickiTheFox

6 years, 1 month ago

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I'm not much into birds, but that comic was pretty nice.

Would it had been kid simba, it would have been perfect for me... but oh well, that's just my taste. :P

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ MickiTheFox

Sure, can't please everyone. Something with cub Simba would certainly have been more popular, but I much prefer to work on Zazu!

blueskunkcoon

6 years, 1 month ago

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Nice love it love to see more comic that feature disney animal characters.

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ blueskunkcoon

These comics are very rare, happy you liked ^^

DallasBalto

6 years, 1 month ago

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Your comics are sensational, and beautiful.

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ DallasBalto

I know you like them, thanks =3

NaumWolf

6 years, 1 month ago

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I enjoyed it, and with how you ended it you could easily make a second one of these days if you felt so inclined ^^

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ NaumWolf

If I do a sequel, it won't be what people would expect, certainly more surprising!

NaumWolf

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ McFan

ooooo, sounds fun ^^

Zippo

6 years, 1 month ago

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Liking it man, took your time and did what ya mostly wanted im sure. :3

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ Zippo

That comic didn't take too long complete actually, only 3-4 months is good for a 20 page comic. Just took lots of time to start at first x3

Reizinho

6 years, 1 month ago

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The plot is simple, very casual. I really like how you can mix original facial expressions with the character's models. Everyhting is on-model, it looks extremely hi-fi.

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ Reizinho

I took some time learning how to draw them, especially Timon, considering I was already a Zazu-fag. Happy you recognize it!

Naivintage

6 years, 1 month ago

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I don't there's anything I could add to improve it.

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ Naivintage

Oh there are things I know I can do better ^^

Furhammer

6 years, 1 month ago

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It was a great comic and I would personally like to see a part 2 for it, but 1 question: what was with the ending and zazu?

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ Furhammer

Oh I thought it was pretty explicit, just showing that Zazu is really not mad at Timon in the end x3

dnexus

6 years, 1 month ago

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It was fantastic, keep it up. I wouldn't mind seeing a second one of this one either.

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ dnexus

Thanks! I'm not in a drawing mood enough to start yet another comic but we'll see.

ThatOneWaffle

6 years, 1 month ago

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It was awesome!

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ ThatOneWaffle

^_^

AxelShadowpaw

6 years, 1 month ago

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I really enjoyed it, the expressions were really good, and the panels flowed nicely. It was confusing in the first cum scene, I thought it was Timon who came.

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ AxelShadowpaw

Then it was done just right ^^

RandomUser00

6 years, 1 month ago

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Enjoyed your comic cause you put a lot of work on that and anyway it was a very hot one

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ RandomUser00

Thanks a lot EvilPaw!

Howlingmane

6 years, 1 month ago

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I love it. It's comical, forward, and really arousing. Especially how Timon is feeling when he's around Zazu. I can't help but imagine what would happen if scenario happens between him and Shenzi.

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ Howlingmane

It can actually be an idea, but i think I know what I would do if I was to do another story about The Lion King.

Howlingmane

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ McFan

What do you have in mind? Between Timon and Shenzi?

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ Howlingmane

No, nothing with Shenzi involved, sorry.

Howlingmane

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ McFan

Awww. Why not?

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ Howlingmane

I have better ideas I would like to work on more.

Howlingmane

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ McFan

Oh. Okay. What kind of ideas?

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ Howlingmane

Well, won't reveal them now!

Round

6 years, 1 month ago

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It's all great! I really didn't know what Zazu would think at the very end, but I really like that there is satisfaction ultimately. He rarely gets a break and so this was a deep little vacation for both of them :)

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ Round

Yeah i decided to be nice with him in this story, he wouldn't have any sexualy intercourses by himself :P

Mattspew

6 years, 1 month ago

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I think it was pretty good! Action was easy to see, dialogue was pretty fun, and the art seemed to move smoothly between each panel. Needless to say, it was pretty hot. If you were to write another comic, and I would definitely consider supporting it (especially if receiving a physical copy would be possible)!

As a side note, page 10, bottom panel; one of my favorite panels of all time.

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ Mattspew

Glad you think it was good! I'm pretty happy with it myself. Physical copies are quite unlikely, as I don't know how it would work at all.
There are some expressions I love, and the one you are syaing is one of them ^^ My favorites are in page 9 personally.

Mattspew

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ McFan

Well, there are plenty of ways to print a comic out pretty easily; I think Inkedfur might be able to help out with that! Though, I can understand if it's too much haha printing can get pretty expensive

Valde

6 years, 1 month ago

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It was Very hot and It looked like the behind the scenes of The Lion King film :3 And It was fun to see your progress throughout of that comic.

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ Valde

I'm happy you liked it ^^

damdum

6 years, 1 month ago

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Edited 6 years, 1 month ago by Owner

Nothing more to say than that I liked it, enjoyed reading it.

However.

I know it's your artstyle but some of the facial expressions and faces in certain panels just seems a bit ''off'' and would need a bit more work in future projects, but other than that, again I really liked it and look forward to see your next comic.

Oh, and one more personal thing, I wished there had been more cloaca! You can NEVER get enough cloaca! =w=

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ damdum

True that the art quality isn't completely consistent, I'm not satisfied by all the pages. Not something too easy to fix though, that will go with art improvement.
Still,happy you liked it!

damdum

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ McFan

I will await to see you grow with your art skills, it really shows how much you have improved if you compare your older art with your newer.

Silverwolf626

6 years, 1 month ago

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Was quite unique, well drawn with great facial expressions. Awesome detail and good dialogue through the whole thing. There's not much to really polish up that a casual like me is going to see; just hope you do more in the future because this was extremely well done! Keep it up! =)

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ Silverwolf626

Glad that the writer you are appreciated the dialogue ^^ we will see if I do another comic someday!

SuperKawaS

6 years, 1 month ago

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I hope I don't sound like a jerk.
The drawings were awesome and the way you layout the pages is just right, although the major problem i have with the comic is that it's mostly "just sex". I wish it had a bit more "story" or plot to be honest. Other than that, the comic was absolutely terrific and every page was made with a lot attention to details and it's overall very cohesive. Great job and keep it up! C:

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ SuperKawaS

Well I asked for what was wrong so I'm happy to see a complaint.
It's unfortunately hard to do lots of plot with a 20 page comic. I just went for a silly setup as a good and funny excuse, but then after true that it's mostly sex.

ZilvusX

6 years, 1 month ago

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I have to say, I enjoyed it, even though I'm not a big fan of the "rape" theme that was pretty present in the comic.
Keep it up - really looking forward to seeing more! ^^

GreenReaper

6 years, 1 month ago

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Edited 6 years, 1 month ago by Owner

OK, so the comic was very popular, hit a lot of highs for those liking the theme as others said; but you want critical feedback, so this is going to be all the picky things that stuck out at me as well as the highs.

The red circle eyes are weird. I kinda got what you were going for but it didn't really work for me at a glance. (Though they did for someone else? But even there they didn't immediately understand what you were trying to communicate - presumably nervousness/tension, like bloodshot eyes?)

Mixing 3D lighting effects on 2D characters is hard to do right, and and this is particularly noticeable with the specular highlights on the eyes. I thought it might work better if the comic was viewed at "normal" reading size, but even then it looks a bit off. Perhaps a circular graduated shade rather than hard lines?

There was that debate on the use of hakuna matata, but personally I think that's just a character being deliberately ironic with the term, knowing they're using it inappropriately. If you are butchering expectations of propriety in the workplace, this is a small thing.

The actual sex scenes were quite good and I would highlight page 14 as hot - according to the stats, more people looked at the one before, and earlier comic naughtiness (perhaps reflecting the thumbnails for those pages, or upload schedule), but page 15 and 14 got the most +favs. I know some people are all about the internals (and those were fun too) but sometimes imagination is best.

The smiling teeth bit looked weird to me. I figure you were going for a "comic enemy smile" but I'm not sure it works with the character's mouth. If we look at Timon's teeth we see that they are indeed a line attached to his muzzle but usually in more of a curve, and/or with the curve of his muzzle overlapping them to break up the straightness. (Of course actual meerkat teeth do not look like that and maybe mixing in a more carnivorous dentition would've worked considering who is the predator here, at the cost of going off-model.)

Like I said, being deliberately picky and I'm not sure everyone would agree with these points, but you asked. Overall it succeeded - in itself, more than a lot of people manage. Good luck with your future comics! 😸

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ GreenReaper

Hoy GreenReaper and thanks for the nice reply ^^ quite a long and detailed reply, thanks for taking the time to do it!
I agree with the teeth looking weird sometimes, and not all the frames are equal. I'm kinda fond of the specular lights on big white eyes in general hence why I did that, so personal preference here.
I can see why you find the red eye circles strange, it's something I took from

InfamousMustelid

who did that sometimes, and from a frame in TLK2. I really like how it looks and emphasize the crazyness of the situation, and looks very toony.
For Hakuna Matata, I don't really have any other explanation than "I feel it actually really fits the situation", I don't know why.
I'm quite a stats-fag to be honest ^^ so i always look closely to how my pictures are doing! I much more understand the amount of faves than the amount of views in general. The 2 hottest pages for me are 14 and 15, and I'm not surprised to see they are the most popular. Not sure i can explain the views numbers. I got also tons of new watchers from it (easily 500 I would say).
(As a rule34 artist though, the amount of favs I get is heavily idea based, I know that if I release a TLK pic it will most likely get 200+ favs, while if I draw a non-rule34 pic I'll be happy if it reaches 100 favs).

Once again, thanks for the feedback, and glad you liked the comic! I'll see if/when i do a second one, this took quite a lot of work and I don't want to start another if I'm not in a great drawing mood.

Flyttic

6 years, 1 month ago

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The story was nice, concise, focused on the fun stuff, and kept a good pace. The compositions worked well panel by panel and page by page which is what I tend to find the most challenging part. There was also a nice variety of emotions that was portrayed well.

The only critical feedback I can really offer is with the type setting. Your type and word balloons are well placed. However, the space between the text and the edge of the balloons tends to be inconsistent. Having the same amount of space from the edge of the text to the balloon border will add a lot of polish. Also, sound effects will have a lot more impact if they're hand drawn, or at least a different font from speech.

I really like how you handle characters. I like what you've done with the extra space that comes with a sequence. I hope we see more comics from you in the future <3

McFan

6 years, 1 month ago

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@ Flyttic

Thanks for the input and the kind words! I have to agree on the speech bubbles, it's mostly due to the lack of tools for that in Paint Tool SAI, but I could try to be more cautious next time.

Pawsfetish

6 years ago

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Love love that is so nice please make more

PyroAlex

5 years, 9 months ago

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I didn’t talk too much at that time, but I want you to know that I loved your comic 💙 I hope you continue making comics in the future! :>

DreamGod

5 years, 9 months ago

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It wouldn't be me if it weren't several months late!

I really enjoyed this comic--it had a great progression, and the visuals were wonderful. My favorite page definitely has to be 16—Timon locking his legs around Zazu like that is not only a great way to visualize the action that occurs in that cave, but it's also extremely erotic! Page 12 also had one of the best layouts I've seen in recent memory. The only criticism I have is for page 22, the last one. Timon's regret sounds forced when it's spoken out loud--almost like he never wanted to do it in the first place...it would've worked better as a thought bubble; that way it carries the message more clear that outwardly, Timon acts like he doesn't care, but inwardly feels terrible for losing control. Additionally, the second half, showing an exhausted Zazu might have looked better if he was either attempting to get up, or in a slightly raised position from the beginning, so that in the final panel, when he collapses into a (admittedly satisfied) heap, it looks more believable.

I absolutely loved it, and I hope to see some more comics from you soon! Maybe some 1-5 page shorts to hone your skills without overexerting yourself!

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