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My view on online friendships

Disclaimer: This journal excludes current friends/people that I already know.

Until recently, this used to be one of those matters that you simply keep to yourself and avoid bringing up because of the potential misunderstandings it can create. However, circumstances have changed, and I find myself in need of an actual journal to explain my stance on online friendships.

First and foremost, I am an introverted person. This means that social interaction is pretty much optional for me. I have never experienced this feeling called loneliness, I very rarely contemplated mateship, and I seldom have the drive to go out into the world and make friends. This is 50% the way I am as a person, and 50% bad experiences with people which have taught me that I am perfectly capable of being happy on my own, without ever relying on somebody else to achieve that level of fulfillment.

That being said, I cherish my current friends a great deal. I may not talk to them daily, but when I do so, I like to believe that both parties are having a great time. At least, I know that I am <3 Introverted as I may be, I still need to confide in other people, to debate stuff, laugh, discuss various topics, and all the other stuff regular people do. However, I am quite the selective person in choosing whom I interact with, which leads me to the very important point of this journal.

I do not appreciate random people brute-forcing their way into my private space.

This mostly applies to people who have no tangents with the art I create whatsoever. If you are not reading my stories, or being a fan of my characters, then why exactly do you want to be my friend? I am a completely random person to you, and you are a stranger to me. From the get go, a point of discussion, which are my stories, falls out the window. I don't mind it that much, but if you are also not into literature of any kind, then that further shrinks the topics I may wish to discuss with you.

What puzzles me the most is that people who wish to be my friends, but aren't interested in my art, would have a much better success befriending people with similar interests. If you're passionate about games, or are a roleplayer, then why not go and meet other people within your sphere of preference? Why approach me?

I am not full of myself, nor do I expect people to put me on a pedestal because of "teh awesome pronz" I create. However, what I do expect from my friends is common interests, and since writing, furry art and literature make up 70% of my daily activities, then this is the sort of stuff I want to talk about. You don't walk into a biker bar in hopes of befriending a fantasy literature nerd, right? That's sort of the same with me. If you want to interact with me, then you better enjoy my works or literature in general. For other topics, like movies or games, you have a much broader spectrum of people to choose from, so go befriend them instead of me!

I also want to be able to choose my own friends.


I am sorry, but from now on, I'll be much more blunt with people who force me into a friendship from the very first day of meeting each other. I no longer care how much of an insensitive asshole that might make me in your opinion, but I find it incredibly creepy to be in such desperate need of friends, that you have to resort to begging(or worse, resorting to self-depreciation tactics to make me feel bad to the point where I accept you into my telegram) to get my attention. I find such manipulation tactics quite distasteful, so those who resort to them will be handled accordingly.

I will treat everybody with the respect they deserve, and I am open to any sort of interaction that is not a sly tactic in order to get on my skype/telegram/email

I really enjoy replying to comments, answering PMs/notes and interacting with people in general. However, I still want to hold the final say into whom I consider a friend or an acquaintance. Simply reading and enjoying my stories doesn't automatically make you a friend of mine, no more than watching a movie makes you a friend of the actors involved in it.

In the end, a crucial message I wish to address to the fandom as a whole is to manage your expectations. One of the main reasons I stopped roleplaying was because a number of the friends I did it with had started to look way too much into things. At first, I thought that the affectionate words they used with me were simply cute/polite/playful, but apparently, some folks take RPs far too seriously O_O I have nothing against those who bond over RPs. I am completely fine with it, so long as I don't have to be part of it. For me, a character is just that, and virtual sex, although fun to partake in, is by no means a proof of trust and understanding between the participants, especially when these people completely avoid sharing info about their private life.
Viewed: 86 times
Added: 6 years, 2 months ago
 
kst3xh
6 years, 2 months ago
welcome to reality, you've just ranked up

Most folks just call it getting old, I call it the DILLIGAFA stage (does it look like I give a fuck anymore)
quite the stage to reach in life, a decent stage if balanced correctly, don't be too careful or too careless kinda thing. Its a wall of text that I am sure that both you and I would rather not discuss. At the end of the day,  we can hide behind whatever social group we wish, but at the end of the day, it will not remove our human nature.

Take care and I've certainly enjoyed reading this (beats all the damn pity journals I see way to fucking often!) o/
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