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ElfenSciuridae

My Last 48 In Furridom

I think as I sit down and look at this blank screen to put my thoughts down in.

Do not think that I am going do something self destructive. I love myself too much to consider that stupid action as an option to the problems at hand.It is not worth my life or my health because some furson out there decides to give everyone a rough day. But that does not mean that my body can handle the stress of being pushed so hard emotionally with the blood pressure rising to who knows what point beyond lethal. I need to rest and I will after this post.

We are all gears in a machine many call the universe. Our place within that machine, though seemingly insignificant, plays an important role with other gears in the machine as we all rotate with each other. gear wear out and are replaced with other gears. Some gears break down and are replaced by o0ther gears. But when a gear removes itself from the machine, those about the gear are effected by it. I am about to do just that - remove myself from the machine, like I have before in other areas in the machine and to see the machine break down in those areas and see other gears rush into the aide to try get that area repaired. Most of the time they fail, needing to replace that whole section to get it working again. But I can not be that important, am I?

One individual can not be so influential that they can take down friends and others at the drop of a word. Some people believe that they are. Hence the problem.

This is the time of year most hurtful to me.History: 12/20/83 My newly wed wife goes out to see an ex to complete some paperwork to finalize their break up. She would never return home from that meeting. It was also the Blizzard of '83 and because of that she would not be found until 1/15/84. I would have to raise our girls as a single father, with every Christmas season being a reminder of what had happened to their mother, my wife. They grow up and become successful adults who contribute to their communities, being the solution, not the problems of their communities. A dad could not be prouder or do better than what I did alone.

It is 12/14, soon approaching that dreaded 12/20 - 1/15 date. So called friends making calls about how I am doing without Cathy. Xmas Cards coming in saying how they feel my pain. Friends not wanting to be around be for a beer and burger because they are afraid of saying the wrong thing because in the past they did and today they continue to do so. People who know saying how they know how hard it must be to be a single father raising up girls when they were never in that situation. It is hippocracy at its best, nothing like seeing 2-faced people and hear them say that they know and know what is good for me. This is what I am dealing with.

The logo of one of my consultant companies is of Pinocchio grabbing and pulling at his with one hand and cutting them with a large blade with another. It is a copyright image. But it represents a lot about the company I run and who I am. I want you to think about that image and what it may represent to you because that is how you may see me.

Something happened, and innocent people got blamed for crap they did not do. I stepped in hope to straighten things out. I get cursed at, name called and accused of abuse. I stood up to those accusations but am still being accused and name called. So in their words, they do not want to see me here, there or anywhere - fine. They win. I do not f'ing care. They want to run around in this place, they can have it. This is my decision as to why I am deciding to leave. It would take a miracle for me to return, but return I will. I am just cooling down for now. I need this time to cool down.

But like I stated to that person, I stand alone to face my accuser. She stated that she has "Patreon paying Fans" siding with her. I do not care who they fuck they are. They back her up, it just makes her a larger target to knock down. And I will tell each and everyone of them off - back off or deal with the ugly side of me few people survive after seeing.

I am a squirrel in Fandom because the squirrel is a animal that is immune to venomous attacks. This is true figuratively and literally (those of you who read my medical updates, know this to be true). So let my accuser keep injecting her poison. I can take it and handle it. But like cute squirrels do, I also bite back.

Like I stated, I will not be in the chat on Saturday. This is for them to go there and do the damn right thing as I told them to do. Thing is, any of my my daughters might be, as they should be coming over for the Holy Daze. and if you think I'm bad, they are worst than I am. Like Father, Doubly so with Daughters.

Merry F'ing Xmas Everybody! Enjoy the High Holy Daze!
Viewed: 954 times
Added: 6 years, 3 months ago
 
Makogrey
6 years, 3 months ago
I've said my peace with it and have moved on. I won't be around this weekend ether as I don't want to be on as it's triggered a lot of painful memories from high school I really don't want to remember that put me in an awful mood.
MadWolf
6 years, 3 months ago
I hope you are able to enjoy your time with your daughters Elfen. Know that when you decide to come back, it will not be in a cesspool of drama or anger, but with open arms with friends. As iv'e stated before, all I can really do in the end is hope, hope that you may be able to find your peace, that you may be able to find yourself in a happy place among family and friends who you care for. I hope I can still be counted among your friends as I count you among mine, regardless of how much we know about each other in the long run. I wish you the best during these holidays.

May you and your family have a wonderful Christmas. I hope to see you soon dear friend.
krezz
6 years, 3 months ago
Big bro, let me tell you that I admire you for all the things you have done for me. If you came to a decision, then I send you my best wishes and I hope you have happy days and good karma forever.
I faced this person too when I realized what she was doing, and then cut all my ties with her without remorse. She lied to everybody all this time, I don't know why she stated that shit about those "Patreon paying Fans" supporting he. At the end she showed her true nature that day. Now I think I learned a lesson in a hard way.
If she called you a bully, then I'm a bully too. I'm siding with you.
In solidarity, I won't do a stream session this weekend, perhaps until the next year.
Take care ¡y ten una Felíz Navidad y Próspero Año Nuevo, hermano mayor!
-K
TheCemmie
6 years, 3 months ago
i feel sad for  ElfenSciuridae and also im a huge fan and also i am the developer of michale the broken. lets hope  ElfenSciuridae gets better
NeksusCat
6 years, 3 months ago
I won't tell you that I feel for you or any of that crap, but I wish you to deal with anyone who dares to stand against you and deal them as they deserve it!
As much as it worth, I'm sending you some mental energy to help you.
And some mental hugs! :3
Furlips
6 years, 3 months ago
"Losing faith in humanity. One asshole at a time."

Do what ya have to.

Hugs

Bunners
Dragonzero
6 years, 3 months ago
I know about this and the pain he goes though every year , I also try to chear him up but some scares don't heal . he is a great man in so many ways and he saved me , his heart is bigger then any once's I have ever seen.  He only acks when it is needed . he will come around but he needs time but what ever was said really pushed him over . I never seen him this bad .  I'm here brother . Always  and you know you are a part of my family . I hope you have a good time with your daughter's Fernando.
Otlan
6 years, 3 months ago
Not sure what happened. Don't need to know. I've lived a short life on this world so far, but I've learned one thing. A lot of people are self serving assholes who only care about themselves. Among thoses Assholes though, there are good people, who try and do the right thing, like you. You took a stand where no one else would. I won't say your a hero, but your a damn better person then most. Take the time off you need and rest. Enjoy your time with your daughters. Nothings more important then family.
CharlesDragon
6 years, 3 months ago
Me I don't want to get into anyone augarment I Just be Neutral and I don't want this to tear anyone apart. I am on your side Fernando form Acorn Cafe to Pouncefield Cafe and Krezz stream. I not going to listen what she have to say. I am going to say this to her. Just keep me out of this. I am Neutral and I always have been. If she try to force me to pick a side. Then I am going to cut my ties with her too and Chose your side Fernando because man. You are my best Friend I Had in the Cafe and I am not going to lose that. You can Believe That. Quoit form the WWE Shield. Because We are the Shield. I am Roman Reigns, you are Seth Rollins and Krezz is Dean Ambrose. WE ARE THE SHIELD AND THE AUGARMENT WON'T TEAR THIS GROUP APART. BELIEVE THAT! *Put his fist in the center.*  
sedkitty
6 years, 3 months ago
I don't know what this is about, but I do know you've never done wrong by me.  Take care, Elfen.  I'll miss you. *hug*
graymuzzle
6 years, 3 months ago
There are many of us for whom the whole Christmas thing has been 'problematic'. I count myself among them.
I think it began in the years that my ex prevented me from being with my children. Add to that the expense, the loss of income, and the pressure from courts to settle cases, and I would just leave. For many years, we left and went to California in December, to get as Christmas free environment as we could.
With time, things change. My children have children, and I have a stepson with whom we typically celebrate Christmas.
Significance? I'm not sure. Just remember you have a furry family out there that loves you, and wishes you well.
TheBunnyWisp
6 years, 3 months ago
I recall a quote that I once used,

" "Each and every single life in existence is like a fruit, while it can be the sweetest taste around, it can also one of the most bitter, sour or even downright rotten taste one can experience. Yet all we can do is grin and bear whatever taste our fruit yields in this world of ours. There will be others who will share their fruit with you and there will be those who spit in it, but one thing will remain: As long as one is willing to kept eating, then the taste will very slowly fade away but until then one can only endure."


I'm sorry for the crappy quote and I hope it didn't offend you in any way Elfen. While I haven't known you very long in comparison to others in the stream, I still consider you a close friend (and I hope you do consider me a friend as well). Your one of the people who help me come out of my shell when I first arrived in Krezz's stream, so I must thank you for helping me and it makes me sad to see what has happened. While I didn't fully understand what happened that day, but I do believe that you and Mad were in the right.

But, I do hope you find some peace and happiness from your friends and family this Holidays and that you hopefully return back sometime soon because I know a lot of people are going to miss you, (Me included.), But until then relax and do your best to find cheer this season.

May you have a wonderful Christmas with friend and family, an amazing new year and happy time, my friend.

~Frosty Wisp
EricAdler
6 years, 3 months ago
If you feel you must leave the fandom, so be it.  I will miss you, but I will not try to change your mind for my sake.

If you wish to stay in contact with a bird who respects your skills, admires your tales, and flat out loves you like a brother, even though we have never met in person, send me a PM with your contact info.  I swear I will keep it in the strictest confidence and never share it with another soul.
TheKaiser
6 years, 3 months ago
Live Long and Prosper :)
ruink
6 years, 3 months ago
if this is your choice, then I understand.  I still hope I can interact with your characters even after the fact.
ZwolfJareAlt306
6 years, 3 months ago
Sending positive vibes.

I wish you well going forward, sir.
KyunaWolf
6 years, 3 months ago
Take the time you need we will be waiting and we will welcome you back with open arms when you return
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