I'm trying to stay more active, talking about things here in my journal so that I'm more of a real person to you folks, but it's honestly been really hard.
I'll be honest with you guys, I'm not doing well. I'm working as hard as I can to get my remaining commissions done and get Pet Project finished so I can start work on The Wild Coast Patreon project, which, as I'm writing this, have no idea whether or not it'll succeed. For those of you who don't know, I stream practically every day. If I'm working on art, I'm streaming, and I stream for about 7 hours every single day with hardly any days off. I try to keep my prices reasonable because I know how hard it is to have expendable income in today's market, but at the level of detail I offer, it ends up being minimum wage for artwork that has taken a lifetime of practice to achieve.
I know I'm bellyaching, but this is just something I have to get off my chest.
I've been producing at a very solid rate for 4 years now and the fact that for my 480 someodd submissions, I have only 4500 watchers... I'm starting to wonder what I'm doing wrong. Maybe this is as far as I can go. Maybe my style just isn't interesting. Maybe I just suck at my job.
By no means am I going to quit, of course... I'm just so lost right now. I work so hard, every day, and it's like I'm invisible. Caring for Brim, keeping up with the house, working full time... I'm stretched to my limit and in the meantime, the bills are piling up, we're going deeper into debt and the goal of having my plate fully cleared off so I can at least START on Wild Coast just keeps getting further away as I take commissions out of sheer desperation.
Now more than ever, I wish my body worked.
Cherish your health people. Even if your job sucks, at least you have the option of working. Do not envy artists. This is no goddamn way to make a living.
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6 years, 9 months ago
01 Jul 2017 16:51 CEST
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