*Q: Two Asians and a baby-eating monster go to a restaurant. What do they order?
A: Rice; rice; baby
*Froot Loops = a gay rollercoaster
*Inflatable chickens, filled with piss.
*'You, sir, have the IQ of a squirrel's crotch.'
*'Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.'
'Describe your sin, my son.'
'I am peeing in the confessional booth right now.'
*MUFFLER: a device for keeping vaginas quiet
*Q: What's musical deodorant for?
A: Orchestra pits.
*I'm not a necrophiliac, I'm just deeply committed to recycling.
*Here's some funny shit.
Go out and buy a bottle of sleeping pills and a box of Altoids. Dump the pills out into some other container and fill the bottle up halfway or so with the Altoids. Then go over to a friend's house. As soon as you enter, go to the bathroom under the guise of taking a piss. Slip the bottle into his medicine cabinet, in the back somewhere. Then hours later, tap him on the shoulder and say, "Wanna see a trick?" Have him follow you to the bathroom. Then go to his medicine cabinet, pull out the bottle and pour the whole fucking thing in your mouth.
WARNING: Do not grab the wrong bottle by mistake or you will die.
*I eat my hamster's babies before she can get to them.
*Just imagine, in your mind, a Steinway grand piano, filled to slightly overflowing, with stale human semen.
*'I like really romantic movies. I wanna see a movie about a nice girl who meets a nice guy and he fucks her so hard her pussy turns inside out.'
'Yes, I have a question. My penis is made out of algebra.'
'That's... not even a question.'
*Q: What do you call a mythical horse with no foreskin?
A: A Jewnicorn!
*'Caucasian' means that you're the same color as an Asian, but you have more cauc.
*Is nonconsensual masturbation possible?
*Few people know that, after Martin Luther King Jr. died, he was cremated. But the floors at the funeral home had recently been cleaned and were very slippery. When the mortuary assistant was transporting King's urn, he tripped. The ashes went all over the floor. The assistant started panicking, weeping, tearing his hair; certain he was going to be fired. But his boss saw that it had been purely an accident, and patted him on the shoulder. 'You know what they say, kid. There's no sense crying over spilt MLK.'
*Rita Repulsa has a seven inch clit. With spikes on it.
6 years, 11 months ago
17 Jan 2012 01:44 CET