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SilverJackal

Its skull bashing time!!!

Its buzzing through the air like a swarm of pissed off bees and making more gossip than a bunch of drag queens in a dressing room- the end of the world!  According to all the soothsayers and crystal ball gazing Trelawneys (Harry Potter pun XD), some cosmic event is going to happen this year that will cause the world as we know it to end, and that a stone calender left by the Maya gives us the exact date of when this will all take place.  So now we have swarms of people running around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to prepare for this event, and religious holy rollers foaming at the mouth and saying they are going to be spared because their entire faith is going to pull a massive disappearing act that would make David Copperfield shit his pants and laugh their asses off while everyone else suffers for their "sins".

All of this is bugging me to the where I have now gotten out my massive Mallet of Idiot Skull Bashing, and I am ready to slam it down on some heads.

Lets start off with this whole "cosmic event" thing for a moment.  What it could be is anyone's guess.  Because some say its going to be a perfect planetary alignment, that a comet will come crashing down on our heads, or that the fiery gates of Hell will bust open and Satan's horde of hung and horny demons will ass rape everyone until boiling red hot demon jizz is shooting out their eye sockets.  And everyone who follows the stuff said by the Mayans says a perfect alignment of the Milky Way with our Eastern horizon and our sun lining up with the black hole in the galaxy's center will cause a massive flood that will wash everything away.  I for one don't really buy into this because of one simple thing- if the Mayans were so advanced that they could see the future and build a city that looks like a map of the solar system from above, then why aren't they here?!  How come they were this advanced, yet couldn't keep their race from dying off and their cities from becoming Meccas for Stargate nerds?  If they weren't smart enough to save themselves from becoming extinct, then perhaps the calender they left behind shouldn't be taken so literately.

Now onto the Trelawneys, those people that gaze into crystal balls and read palms to tell the future.  These people are a load of shit.  Anyone can say or write down some cryptic phrase that foretells an event in the future, however it is all just words until something happens and people start making connections.  Hell I can sit here and say "Soon Dragoneer shall divorce Sciggles and take on a twelve year old boy as a love slave, fully fix all of Fur Affinity's problems; and welcome back everyone who has been banned from the site with open arms.  All of this shall usher in a golden age of brotherhood among the people of the Fur.", but until something like this happens and people are shitting their pants because they start making connections and proclaiming me a prophet; every word that I let fly from my yap is just a bunch of garbage.

If something really does happen this year that wipes us all out, we can say that you told me so and gang bang me in the afterlife.  However if this year goes by like any other year (which it will) and we all say hello to 2013, then I will wave around my mallet and hammer heads flatter than Cher's vocal range.  Have a pleasant year.
Viewed: 11 times
Added: 6 years, 10 months ago
 
zeran
6 years, 10 months ago
isn't this whole 2012 twelve at little reminiscent of the y2k crisis?  if the world is gonna end its gonna end nothing anyone could do about it and could happen anytime so why get all panicky over it.  It also reminds me of of the event that occured oct 31, 1938  where H.G. wells broadcast "war of the worlds" and a mass hysteria swept through country.   people will be people and seem to think that the world is in a constant state of ending.

btw in the event that 2012 is the end of the world i claim first spot in the line for the gang bang XP.  
SilverJackal
6 years, 10 months ago
Thats kinda like how the christians are whenever something happens in the world.  Hell loads of christians went nuts back in June 6th of 2006 because the date read 06/06/06. XD

Btw, my panda gets first spot in line.  Sorry. lol
PorkbellyMon
6 years, 10 months ago
Does that date pattern happen every prediction? If so, that would be the most stupid method of prediction ever. It would be like using your lucky number as a number to win the lottery.
zeran
6 years, 10 months ago
oh yea totally forgot about the triple 6 thing.  and sorry for delayed response stupid work is trying to kill me lol.
Jimbear
6 years, 10 months ago
Is it really fair to hammer heads flatter than Cher's vocal range?  Isn't that a mite too flat? xD

I know exactly which cosmic event it's going to be by the way. :P On 12-21-12, I will have such a huge ejaculation that tons of bear cum will flood the enire world.  It won't end the world, but the power of my special syrup will cause a climate change and make people so horny they forgot about the concept of "sins" and engage in one huge orgy.

And then a comit will kill us all in 2019! xD

(I dunno, I'm just making shit up like every other 2012 end time theorist.)
SilverJackal
6 years, 10 months ago
Not too horny please.  My panda assaults my ass with his thick bamboo staff any chance he gets, so a hornyness epidemic will spell the end for me. XD
Jimbear
6 years, 10 months ago
LOL!  You had me at "end". ;-) Ha ha.  But, alright, I will tell you when it's time to go run to the caves to escape my "wrath" of free-flowin liquids, ROFL! :P
darkhusky88
6 years, 10 months ago
" Jimbear wrote:
the power of my special syrup will cause a climate change and make people so horny they forgot about the concept of "sins" and engage in one huge orgy


Isn't that kind of an oxymoron?
Jimbear
6 years, 10 months ago
They forget their concepts of sin, and then engage in an orgy.  Nothing ironic about it.
darkhusky88
6 years, 10 months ago
" Jimbear wrote:
They forget their concepts of sin, and then engage in an orgy.  Nothing ironic about it.


LOL alrighty then,
Jimbear
6 years, 10 months ago
My spooge can be magical that way y'know. ;)
darkhusky88
6 years, 10 months ago
" Satan's horde of hung and horny demons will ass rape everyone until boiling red hot demon jizz is shooting out their eye sockets


Sound like fun.
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