Looking over the sheer number of journals I've produced over the 2 or 3 years (whatever it is) that I've been in the fandom, I'm thinking it's time to just leave it alone. The journals that is, not the fandom.
It's not that there's anything that springs to mind that I regret saying - aside from maybe what I said about the original Sonic the Hedgehog games. The recent increase in comments is awesome, and it's even more wonderful that some of them are actually argumentative - it's reassuring to know that I'm not preaching to the choir, yet. Nonetheless I still wonder if I'm coming across as preachy.
Other recent events have made me re-evaluate my stake in the furry fandom and I'm thinking it's time to shed a few stocks. I was initially supposed to just be another random author in the sea, not quite so outspoken nor giving out so many details of my own life.
That's a hold over from when I had (ugh) a LiveJournal that I used mostly as a mind-dump, that was separate from my writing entirely. The only furry contact I had that followed me back to my LJ was through the blogs of RH Junior and DC Simpson - yes, that's right. Discovered them at the exact same time and used to love trawling through their comics and journals. I laughed my ass off when the two of them starting going at one another's throats, especially since it was the pair of them that really got me interested in politics when I was a kid.
So when the "slap-fight", as someone so hilariously called it, between them started, I couldn't help but think it was overdue.
At any rate, I had this journal, but I kept it separate from my actual writing and fans. Only a select few of my fans were told I even had a LiveJournal where I wasted shitloads of time writing about bollocks nobody cares about. So when I ditched LJ, I made the mistake of just picking up where I left off with FA's journal system, and now IB's.Those two things were meant to be separate (especially because some of the people that read my LJ should not be allowed to read my furry stories).
Sure, more readers of both my journals and my stories, but it's all something it wasn't meant to be now.
I'm still a nobody in the overall scheme of things, but that's not the point. Or maybe it is. I don't get enough recognition from the fandom, ironically, to warrant putting so much of myself into it.
I've gotten a bit too cynical, and I can't blame myself. Trying to be genuinely funny, sardonic or satirical online is an exercise in frustration. As I said before, try it and watch as the nit-wits come along and do what they do best: nit-pick.
So my journals are neither as humorous nor as wide-ranging as they used to be. Because nobody laughs, and because if you even jokingly disparage, say, goths or people who like pineapple pizza, you get a humorless, barely coherent response from some butt-hurt tosspot - and nobody else.
I still remember being horrified at the sheer level of stupidity evident in the hate-mail sent to Maddox and Real Ultimate Power... then seeing it manifest itself in my LiveJournal with mind-breaking frequency too. People have forgotten what humor is, and now there's no fuckin' point to making satirical jokes or using a dry wit - the only humor people understand is POWERTHIRST WILL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A FIGHTER PLANE MADE OUT OF BICEPS!!, slapstick and fucking Lolcats. (U mad, bro? Hurr, repeating a tired meme is real comedy, amirite?)
Or rather, the ones that do understand real humor are the ones that never comment on it. So somewhere along the way, I more or less quit trying to be funny - that's bad, for someone who wanted to be a standup comedian when he was younger. I can make friends piss themselves laughing in real life, but I come online and I feel like a rottweiler's asshole has been glued to my face, and no matter how I turn my head and try to shake it off, I can do nothing but bark angry, incoherent sounds in my empty corner of a furry website.
Preaching and ranting is usually fine if it's done humorously - hell, that's often what standup comedy is. But somewhere I stopped bothering with the jokes and my delivery got a bit too serious. Somewhere along the line, I stopped letting my stories do the talking for me when it came to these issues (again, there's that cynicism).
Because yeah, when I did start doing "serious" journals, about topics that truly mattered to me, they were still meant to be amusing and entertaining. Either I sucked (most likely?) or nobody bothered to laugh. Now I'm just yowling way too often, that flair being directed at anger rather than humor, and still encountering people who misconstrue entire journals, which just bogs me down. I'm a light-hearted kind of guy, just that sometimes gets a little passionate about things, and that's not the impression these journals give of me.
In brief, probably going to be cutting back on the journals and focusing on other topics when I do bother to write one. I like to think of my journals as being my way of getting in the mood to write while giving my readers something to read while they wait for the next chapter in a story, but...
We'll see. Maybe it'll be one journal a week or something.
Note: nobody in specific has said or done anything to make me feel this way. It's something that's bugged me for over a year.