-takes a deep breath- in this journal i will tell everyone of how my life was in the past so everyone can understand why im so insecure, stressed and why i dont talk that much.
It all started when i was only 3 years old and my parents sold our family dog cuz my little sister was allergic to furry animals, and after they had sold the dog my parents started treating me like a slave.
I basicly had no freedom and were made to do only chores and other duties ( like foot massages ), whenevber i had finished a chore i was locked inside my room until i was needed again. when i started school i thought that treatment was going to stop but it didnt stop they just waitied until i got back from school and then made me do chores again and locking me up. my parents would punish me if i didnt do my chores well enough or if i showed any kind of emotion, the punishments would usually be punishments that left no physical marks but still scarred me mentally... ( well except for the few times i was punished with freezing cold showers or hot coffee being poured on my foot )
They also did not allow me to have any friends as having friends would just make me focus less on my chores and duties
They also did not allow me to celebrate either christmas or my birthday as the birthday of a slave is nothing to celebrate
School was no breeze either i was bullied by both my classmates and the teachers.
my parents were also keeping an eye on me while i was at school with the help of the teachers so i didnt misbehave beccause if i did missbehave i would get punished when i got back home. my grades got really bad over time as i didnt have the mental strenght to do school work and i ended up quitting school at the age of 18
when i was 16 i came in contact with the furry fandom and gained friends that way.. even though i had to always sneak online as my parents did not allow me to be online or me having online friends, a few time they catched me talkign to people online and pretty much forced me to never talk to thoose people again.
When i was 17 i became rebelious towards them and started running away from them to one of my furry friends quite often since i didnt want to be treated like a slave any longer but they just forced me back every time,
That is until halloween 2008 when i finally managed to run away from them by running to entirely different country and ended up living with a furry there.
With that fur i lived quite happily for a few months.. watched loads of horror movies and even got to go to my first christmas market... however the happiness would be shortlived as that fur realized he couldn't afford to keep me and as i wasnt able to get an job ( due to not having any qualifications ) he did what he considered the next best thing and sold me to another fur as a sex slave..
during my time as a sex slave i was raped quite often and not only by the person who bought me, he would often tie me up and sometimes even threatened to shut me inside of a small cage if i behaved badly.
He also made me eat raw meat at a few separate occations.
The only nice thing that fur did to me was buying me an japanese school girl uniform for me to wear ( my very first girly outfit )
however during the summer i got help by some furry friends again and managed to get myself to the UK where i got to live together with nice people again wich was wonderful.. got to go to small furmeets and other fun things that most furries usually get to do i even got a few outfits as gifts :3
but nice things for me never tend to last and as i still was failing to get a job i ended up having to move to an hostel since i couldnt pay the rent for the fur that i was living with.
During my time in the hostel i was terrified due to all the druggies and thugs that lived there so i mostly stayed locked inside of the room i was living in and it was during the time in the hostel that i came in contact with my mate that im currently living with.. moved in with him christmas eve 2010. living with him has been pretty nice.
Is still trying to find work and failing wich annoys him alot so he has me do chores around the house until i can get an job.... is almost starting to think that slave-work is the only job i can get as the jobcentre here pretty much has told me that i have an really slim chance of ever getting a job since im so under-qualified wich is stressing me out alot
so here you have why im very insecure towards strangers and very often doesnt dare to talk to new people.. hope you guys wont think any less of me due to how my past was.
tl:dr version : was a house hold slave to my parents, ran away from them, ended up being sold as a sex-slave, got rescued from being that but ended up becoming homeless and moving into an hostel, then met my mate and moved in with him.
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12 years, 3 months ago
09 Jan 2012 02:56 CET
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