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paige

IN THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE...

by
... Does becoming a zombie void your life insurance?

I mean, YOU DIED. But then you got back up and went out to dinner.
I can see there being horrific costs attached to zombie related disposal too - I mean, you can't just be buried, and I don't know if the whole "Cremation seeds the clouds with the virus which makes zombie rain" thing would be true or not...

BURNING QUESTIONS WHICH DEMAND ANSWERS.

Hmm.

On another note, I'm going to try and be more active this year.
Which is the same thing I say every year, but hey, we can all hope - right?
Viewed: 280 times
Added: 6 years, 11 months ago
 
Incaros
6 years, 11 months ago
...wouldn't the fire KILL the virus?
paige
6 years, 11 months ago
Yes, but then the virus itself would come back as a zombie.
Bahlam
6 years, 11 months ago
This surely leads to an infinite regression of zombie-ism.  *boggle*
KhellSennet
6 years, 11 months ago
It's like the scene from Fantasia where Mickey tries to kill the mops by chopping them into smaller and smaller pieces...
Arle
6 years, 11 months ago
Actually, I believe the result is dependent on the type of zombie.  Viral zombies are among the deadliest, but burning them ought to eliminate the virus (though I would suggest using a proper crematorium or some other method that can convert even bone to ash since ordinary bonfires usually don't get that hot).  Chemical zombies should also be safe to burn - again, highest heat available is best to ensure the greatest chance of breaking down the zombifying chemical.  Radioactive zombies now, those would be a very bad idea to burn - you're just going to spread the zombifying radiation around as smoke.  What you describe would be the result of burning magical zombies though - that would also be a very bad idea unless some kind of act of faith was involved to make them purifying flames.  I have a friend who is really into zombies, so a topic similar to this has actually come up before.
(^.^)
paige
6 years, 11 months ago
"Realistically" (We ARE talking about Zombies here, so you can only get so Realistic) burning zombie corpses is one of the best ways of destruction of zombie corpses...
It's also one of the worst ways to actually kill a zombie. Because if there's anything worse than being eaten by zombies, it's being eaten by flaming zombies. >w<
Arle
6 years, 11 months ago
Oh, certainly fire is usually the best over all method of ensuring the dead stay dead.  Indeed, this is one of those rare instances where living near a semi-active volcano is actually very useful.
paige
6 years, 11 months ago
Best place live in Zombie Apocalypse : Any place where it reaches / stays at freezing temperature.
Zombies and cold don't mix! XD

Living near a volcano sounds terribly frightening, yet deliciously exotic. OwO
Arle
6 years, 11 months ago
Well, living near a volcano does have the benefit that people tend to wear fewer clothes!
PlaneshifterLair
6 years, 11 months ago
Depends on the virus, we ARE talking of a non-real kind of virus... and what about those nanobot-induced zombies?
Incaros
6 years, 11 months ago
Hm. It also might not kill those Party Rock Anthem zombies virus things.
annonymouse
6 years, 11 months ago
I think life insurance would be generally null and void in the case of a zombie apocalypse...  Unless you're talking about my last family reunion.

Basically I think it would go something like this.  "Death by zombie?  Sorry, your insurance does not cover that.  You're S.O.L."  In which case you would most likely eat the insurance rep.
ElfenSciuridae
6 years, 11 months ago
We can hope, Paige.

Cremation does not seed the clouds with the virus because the fire is so hot, the only thing left of the person is carbon dust, which you can send to an artificial diamond processing center and convert all that carbon of your loved on into diamond.
paige
6 years, 11 months ago
I'm trying to remember which return of the living dead movie featured that... >_>;;
It's been a long time since I've seen the "Return" series.
ElfenSciuridae
6 years, 11 months ago
If you want a really good "zombie movie", watch The Serpent and the Rainbow. Its about Real Zombies and how/why they are created. It is based in a true story and is a semi-documentary.

The scene with the floating nail will make you clutch at your family jewels for the rest of the movie!

BTW- if I never said it before, Love your work!
paige
6 years, 11 months ago
I've watched the Serpent and the Rainbow before, but Voodoo zombies aren't my favourite... Weekend at Burnie's 2 is the best Voodoo Zombie movie. XD
ElfenSciuridae
6 years, 11 months ago
Weekend at Bernies II was great!
MarmaladeJane
6 years, 11 months ago
If metabolic processes have ceased, why eat? I mean, won't all that crap just accumulate in your stomach and just sit there?
paige
6 years, 11 months ago
That is the conundrum that is the zombie.
Theories for their devouring of human flesh have been rationalized before - some say it's primal instinct to feed, others say that consuming human brains eases the pain of being dead, either way, if they just loitered about and said "Hey" they wouldn't be nearly as cool.
crazykittygirl
6 years, 11 months ago
you don't think zombies poop?
paige
6 years, 11 months ago
Actually depending on sources most zombies just eat till their stomachs burst, and then it just sorta falls out.
I don't think they actually digest.
crazykittygirl
6 years, 11 months ago
hrm. i'll have to call up the mythbusters.
berin22
6 years, 11 months ago
make a zombie to figure out oh shii..
Alfador
6 years, 11 months ago
In Alex Reynard's "Summer Vacation of the Living Dead", Max is a zombie who has a voracious appetite for meat because it's the most efficient food for constantly rebuilding flesh--his new undead metabolism is magical, so it can digest very quickly and rebuild flesh, but the flesh itself is continuously rotting since his immune system is no longer around to keep bacteria and the like from constantly breaking down what the zombie spell builds back up. There is a long term solution... but it is a plot spoiler...
JasonCanty01
6 years, 11 months ago
Depends on which zombie type.

If its Origonal ZOmbie, then well your just under a magic spell/powder, so your not REALLLY dead untill some one kills you which sucks because your basicly hypnotised. if your a Dawn of the Dead ZOmbie,
then well Hell brought you back to life, so its not really a virus problem, so fire is ok, though not sure about the life insurence issue though thats a grey area.

If your a virus/spore Zombie then yeah no fires! And you came back to life so that would violate your life insurence.

If your a rage Zombie then your still alive and never died untill your killed.  I think Fires are ok in this case because
rage virus is blood born and not a spore.
berin22
6 years, 11 months ago
burning in a vacuum
Zenu
6 years, 11 months ago
Wooooo! Huge fan of your stuff Paige =D
DamienHelvian
6 years, 11 months ago
Somebody needs to start a Zombie Insurance Firm.
Bahlam
6 years, 11 months ago
Already done.  =^.^=

http://www.myzombieinsurance.com/
DaddyDuckyBE
6 years, 11 months ago
Considering a political/national economy perspective here, a zombie apocalypse can't be more expensive in life insurance payments than a general natural desaster. Wouldn't you think that today's insurance companies ever think of an event of nuclear or meteor strike? And I suppose life insurance is the only insurance policy that companies still have to pay after the policy holder's life functions have ceased, right?

*suddenly gets the mortifying thought that cockroach-like lawyers will be the only species that will survive the apocalypse because they're most needed by companies in case of global desaster to justify voiding any and all insurance claims*
Bahlam
6 years, 11 months ago
Thinking about it in the normal rational way I'd say the company might be bound to honor the policy if the plague were caused by a natural disease like a virus.  They'd require a death certificate and some cause that's compatible with the terms of the policy.  Usually that means natural disease or accident (including homicide).  Zombification could be considered either one of those causes.  I have to wonder if a doctor would issue a death certificate for a zombie that's still moving.  They might not because a walking dead state subverts the usual medical definition of death.  A zombie with no heartbeat or breathing might still have some brain activity, like the ones in The Walking Dead, and so not be considered brain dead.  People can be considered brain dead while their bodies still breathe and move from reflex actions and brain stem activity.  

If the zombie plague were considered an 'act of god' according to the company's lawyer's legal theories they may refuse to pay.  That whole thing is a weasely way insurance companies get out of paying when there are mass casualties.  The contracts usually have a specific exclusion for 'acts of war' too.  So I think it would be virtually certain the company would fight paying off on policies on zombified victims.  The families of victims would probably have to go to court to collect like many 9/11 victims' families.  If the zombie plague were considered a 'war' in some way they'd use that as an excuse to not pay too.  
BunnyFoxglove
6 years, 11 months ago
The only possible solution to this whole mess is to eat the damn zombies before they eat you!!!!
Alfador
6 years, 11 months ago
Rotten Flesh has a high chance to give Food Poisoning, so you may want to keep a stack of bread on hand to fill up after you're done consuming the zombies.
BrianPegasus
6 years, 11 months ago
The fire would burn out the bacteria, thus eliminating the virus ^_^
Catwheezle
6 years, 11 months ago
Depends, as others said above, on many things. When burning a body, much steam is released. Viruses can survive in that steam, which is relatively cool: too cool to oxdise most things.

As for the laws for taxation, health and life insurance, it's tricky.

If you are dead, then you pay no tax, can claim on your live insurance, but get no further health coverage. So, I suspect that you would be found to be "not yet fully dead", so that you could continue to pay tax, continue to pay health insurance premiums (though you would be noted to have a preexisting condition), and would be unable to claim on your life insurance.

berin22
6 years, 11 months ago
again just burn in a vacuum
gameguy199
6 years, 11 months ago
0_0'

ArcCahlon
6 years, 11 months ago
yeah know persoanlly I'd hate to be a zombie. don't get me wrong it be cool but if your life depends on eating brains..... your screwed. I work retail trust me not a lot of people have brains anymore. pretty sure its just a hamster in wheel running the "brain" as for life insurance yes you still could get it because after devouring half the population if the insurers aint zombie's yet there gonna need money and hell why not get it from the walking dead?

however your missing an even bigger issue here. if a zombie girl and zombie boy have sex and have a child is it born (living)dead or born alive(non zombie)? also if 2 living dead do have sex is it still necrophila? these are the real questions we need answered.
KichigaiKitsune
6 years, 11 months ago
And what about the zombie-baby? Is it eligible for public health benefits? Can we guarantee schooling for these unfortunate zom-babies?

Burning questions that need to be answered lest we condemn another generation of living dead to second class citizenship!
ArcCahlon
6 years, 11 months ago
indeed we already have dumb living we don't want to repeat history with or living dead offspring. they need good schooling and well balanced nutrition. health care is iffy I mean they aint got that dumb bothersome pulse but we must protect there bodies from rapid decay. make sure they have the best ointments to keep there decaying flesh the best it can be.
KichigaiKitsune
6 years, 11 months ago
Exactly. No child, living or living-dead, should have to worry that their limbs are going to rot and fall off randomly. That's just cruel!
berin22
6 years, 11 months ago
second class citizenship might be a good solution for people who turn zom as they have already had a first citizenship and no longer need 2 sleep where as zomborns would be categorized by intelligence and intent (zom wants brains zom says wants brains, zom wants brains zom just reach 4 them) depending on the levels of extelligence(communication) and intelligence a zom could become a reliable asset to help bring some humanity to zomkind.    

                LOL
KichigaiKitsune
6 years, 11 months ago
This journal and the comments just made my day. Thanks. :D

Also, love the new icon, Paige... that's freakin' cute. And it makes me want ice cream.
Coldfur
6 years, 11 months ago
A giant mass grave with a cement covering should fix the disposal zombies, or an acid pool should ensure that the first uprising will be the last.
FelouseFarnayne
6 years, 11 months ago
then wouldn't you burn the bodies in an enclosed space so the virus can't leave without paying its tip? XD welcome back my friend I hope this year will be a great and happy new year for you and you achieve all you set out to do *hugs* n_n
yiharbin
6 years, 11 months ago
hahaha, that is a great question
XD
Aogami
6 years, 11 months ago
I imagine you could collect on your life insurance if you were zombified, since it does involve death xD
ScottyKat
6 years, 11 months ago
it depends on if your mind still works. if so. id say they have to keep you insured.
If not.. your dead XD
Shokuji
6 years, 11 months ago
Goals & plans are better than nothing. =3
berin22
6 years, 11 months ago
jettison to sun burns up and no zombie rain
paige
6 years, 11 months ago
But then the SUN will become a zombie and plant's will absorb it's infected sunlight and then we'll have a WORLD FULL OF ZOMBIE PLANTS.
.... O___0
berin22
6 years, 11 months ago
Plants vs Zombies...         ^.^
paige
6 years, 11 months ago
In Zompocalpyse Russia, Vegetables eat you.
berin22
6 years, 11 months ago
in soviet Russia  things arent backwards backwards are u
plants try to eat u so in soviet Russia plant dont try to eat u
last safe place.
Nyanki
6 years, 11 months ago
A zombie could still find work.  Get some zombies, a human brain on a stick and a treadmill, use them to generate electricity.
C7
C7
6 years, 11 months ago
You know how insurance companies are. There's probably some kind of un-death clause. As for zombie disposal, I recommend burying the bodies (intact or not) in cement.
lepkitty
6 years, 11 months ago
i think it was jamie hyneman that said "when in dout, c4"

also if you could find an easy way to make it into a weapon some LN2 (Liquid nitrogen) would do the trick i think :>
keradi01
6 years, 11 months ago
Well from what I can guess from how insurance works. Then I'd say you'd probably have to pay an additional fee to extend life insurance to cover zombification, but only if it actually kills you. If you are the type of zombie that hasn't "actually" died like a rage zombie, then I'd think it wouldn't count. Either way I'd read the fine print and be ready to hire a lawyer.

As for the cremation thing... I've never heard of that explanation before. Sounds like something someone pulled out of their ass. I would think that zombie disposal would work more like just dumping them in a land fill or in the ocean after they've sustained enough damage to prevent them from moving (or just killing them again, depending on how the zombies work). And we'd get into fantasy territory if anyone says that animals eating the corpses would make them zombies too since from what I understand of biology, not everything affects everything else the same way. Viruses, parasites, poisons and venom would likely have different effects depending on what is exposed to it. A monkey and a fish would probably not have to worry about catching a disease from a turtle. Plus no matter how often someone in my house gets sick with an infectious disease, like the flu, I've never seen our pets get sick from the same thing. I've read about how some spiders' venom could kill a man but be ineffective to a cat or a dog and vice-versa because the biology is not the same.

Some of the most reliable ways of killing viruses and bacteria is through exposing them to extreme temperatures. Incineration or deep freeze would work on all but the most butt numbingly tough microbes. If say those methods don't work, then I still would have doubt that "zombie rain" would result from cremating zombies. That's like saying its possible for the clouds to rain with a stomach flu and a cough. I'm no scientist, but I would laugh if I ever heard someone say something along those lines in a serious conversation.
overfiend87
6 years, 11 months ago
I remember hearing aboutthe whole zombie rain thing. I have to wonder if the same thing would happen as with Supernatural with that girl that was ressurected as a zombie and had to be staked back into the coffin to kill them.
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