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Alfador

Vorld of Varkraft

Finally, Wanderer has completed the Firelands. Ragnaros went down in our third attempt of the night. Zephie pounded his desk and screamed with joy.

And then we went on to give Dragon Soul a shot and surprise surprise, we one-shot Morchok. Mwahahah!
Viewed: 30 times
Added: 6 years, 9 months ago
 
Kupok
6 years, 9 months ago
By the Nine.. You're... DRAGONBORNE!!
Alfador
6 years, 9 months ago
FOOS-ROW-DUH
AlexReynard
6 years, 9 months ago
I really do try to read your Warcraft journals, Alfie. I know what actually happened from our talk last night, but otherwise it's like trying to read Jabberwocky for me. 'Arrrrgh! All these words I do not understand the meaning of! Nooooo!' ;)
Alfador
6 years, 9 months ago
'Twas LFR and the aggroed mobs did despawn and debuff in the raid
All pwnèd were the DPS, and the healbots cast Fade.
AlexReynard
6 years, 9 months ago
<applause> That's very good! Meter fits 'n everything. If you did a full version and posted it, I'm sure it would get much love! :)
Alfador
6 years, 9 months ago
I'll give a try at a few more lines now, but it's getting late. Past bedtime.

"Beware of Ragnaros, my son!
The adds that sear! The AoE burn!
Beware the Twilight's Hammer, and
The pugs who will not learn!"
AlexReynard
6 years, 9 months ago
>The pugs who will not learn!

Wowwww. I have *no* idea what that means!
Alfador
6 years, 9 months ago
Translations:
LFR: "Looking For Raid", a new tool that allows people to engage in high-end "raid" content with random strangers, with difficulty level and loot value cranked down to avoid the frustration that usually causes. (I'm mixing metaphors; the second verse references the Firelands raid, which is not currently compatible with the LFR tool.)
aggroed mobs: Mobs being short for "mobiles", in ancient text adventures any mobile NPC, now usually refers only to hostile monster types. "Aggro" means the monster is actively seeking and attacking you.
despawn: Actually means to disappear; I couldn't think of anything better. :\
debuff: To put a negative status effect on; as a noun it refers to the status effects themselves.
DPS: Damage Per Second; also used to refer to characters whose primary role in a group is dealing as much damage per second to enemies as possible.
healbots: Disparaging term for characters whose primary role is to heal, especially if they significantly overpower the content they're playing in and can therefore use the same healing ability over and over again, like a robot.
Fade: An ability used by the Priest class to reduce the amount of "threat" they have on the enemy, making it likely they will attack someone else. Not to be confused with "Suppress", an ability used by priests to hide the truth, making it less likely they will be attacked for fucking altar boys.
Ragnaros: The Firelord, a giant fire elemental who is a primary antagonist in the Cataclysm expansion, as well as having been the end boss of the very first raid instance in WoW, the Molten Core.
adds: Refers to mobs which spawn in and attack the players during a boss encounter, "add"ing to the number of targets that have to be dealt with.
AoE: Area of Effect. Refers to damaging abilities (and a few healing abilities) that cause their effects in a (usually circular) wide area rather than to a single target.
Twilight's Hammer: A cult which forms a group of antagonists allied with Deathwing the Destroyer, Aspect of Death. Not actually found in the Firelands raid.
pugs: Acronym for "pick up group", a term for aforementioned groups of random strangers to play with, nowadays used disparagingly to refer to any person you "pick up" to fill a gap in your regular group caused by someone failing to show up. Since they are not part of your regular group, and very likely not part of any regular group (since they are not "locked out" of that raid dungeon for the week), they are very likely to be unfamiliar with the encounters, and may be rather dense when it comes to learning them.
AlexReynard
6 years, 9 months ago
Jinkies! That's a hefty hunk of explanation there. I mostly just wanted to know how pugs fit into WoW.

My knowledge of Warcraft is pretty much limited to the fact that Wolpertingers exist (or don't). ;)
Alfador
6 years, 9 months ago
There is also a pun. Because of this usage of the word "pug", Blizzard put in a pug (the dog) vanity pet you are awarded by using the Dungeon Finder to group with a total of 100 random strangers over the course of play. (If you're playing a lot, it actually happens rather quickly since queueing up alone gives you four towards that total per run.)

And yes, during Brewfest, you can get a pet Wolpertinger that you summon from a one-liter tankard. Party and raid members grouped with you can see it, as can you... but nobody else can see it unless they are drunk. >:3
AlexReynard
6 years, 9 months ago
I remember you showing me one. Cute little antlery rabbity things.

Also, I'd really like to see a forty-foot tall fire-breathing pug as a dungeon boss.
Alfador
6 years, 9 months ago
Bwahaha, that'd be awesome!! And to all the naysayers, I'm positive Blizzard could find a way to wedge it into lore. I mean, Brewfest and the Darkmoon Faire are real, canon things, as are all the holidays--all of them blatantly pulled from real-world celebrations, all of them carefully worked in so they're not suspension-of-disbelief-suspending. (The Feast of Winter's Veil started yesterday, and Greatfather Winter is already standing beside a tree in Ironforge... and a slightly greener-looking Greatfather Winter is similarly in Orgrimmar. ;)

Not to mention kung-fu pandas.
AlexReynard
6 years, 9 months ago
Didn't the panda thing start as a joke?
Alfador
6 years, 9 months ago
Yes. It started as an April Fools' joke in 2003, that they were adding a fifth race to Warcraft III, but the fan response was so overwhelmingly positive that they decided to add a single Pandaren hero (Chen Stormstout) to the WC3 expansion, The Frozen Throne.

http://www.wowpedia.org/Pandaren_April_Fools
http://www.wowpedia.org/Pandaren
AlexReynard
6 years, 9 months ago
They should keep adding races like them and the Worgen until it's as furry as Saints' Row III. ;3
Alfador
6 years, 9 months ago
Don't forget the tauren (MOO)! Also, any race that can be the shaman (turns into ghost wolf) or druid (turns into cat form, bear form, sea lion form, bird form, different cat form, and optionally owlbear form or tree form) kinda qualifies: that's orc, troll, dwarf, goblin, draenei (which are kind blue tentacle-faced space goats by some descriptions...and no, "kind" was not a typo for "kinda" [yes it was, but it made sense anyway so I kept it], they are a very good people), and night elf, in addition to the three furry races already mentioned: pandaren will be able to be shaman, worgen can become druids, and tauren can be either.

They specifically mentioned pandaren not being able to play druids because they didn't want bears turning into bears. ;) UNETHICAL!
AlexReynard
6 years, 9 months ago
>that's orc, troll, dwarf, goblin,

Got any drow?

>draenei (which are kind blue tentacle-faced space goats by some descriptions...and no, "kind" was not a typo for "kinda" [yes it was, but it made sense anyway so I kept it], they are a very good people),

Sounds like mindflayers, but benevolent.

>They specifically mentioned pandaren not being able to play druids because they didn't want bears turning into bears. ;)

Wouldn't that be pretty easy though? "Hey guys, get on all fours and paint yourself with chocolate!"
Alfador
6 years, 9 months ago
" AlexReynard wrote:

Got any drow?


Closest thing we got to dark elves are night elves. And they're more or less good, if not as nice as some of the other peoples--they've mellowed over the years: when Warcraft 3 began they were so insular they attacked both the orcs and the humans on sight, but now they're not only pals with the whole Alliance, they've been chumming around with the tauren druids as part of the Cenarion Circle. (Troll and worgen druids don't really seem to be in on that action yet, at last not as much.)

" AlexReynard wrote:

Sounds like mindflayers, but benevolent.


Not nearly so squid-faced. Think blue Slavic satyrs with ridged foreheads that look like there are metal plates embedded, and 2-4 cheek tentacles. The females don't have the face tentacles, but they have bigger horns.
http://www.wowpedia.org/Draenei

" AlexReynard wrote:

Wouldn't that be pretty easy though? "Hey guys, get on all fours and paint yourself with chocolate!"


The chocolate-painting could be optional, too! Druid cat/bear forms are specific to each race and vary in texture according to certain aspects of the humanoid character model (head hair color for night elf, troll, and worgen druids, body fur color for tauren), so it'd be easy to see a panda on all fours count as bear form.

Lorewise though, there is no reason the Pandaren would have a connection to the druidic traditions or the worship of the Light, so they don't have playable druids nor paladins, respectively. (I'm pretty sure Blizzard could squeeze them in anyway if they really wanted to: troll druids, blood elf paladins, and goblin shamans felt a little forced, and worgen druids just come right out of left field. I mean, in the context of the playable worgen story as you play through the beginning of the game, it DOES make sense that the night elves might teach the newly-worgen-cursed humans some druidic lore to help them calm their wild side... but it makes no sense that the player character can be a human druid right at the beginning when Stormwind humans can't!)
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