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JessCarrotCake

autism and aspergers

For those who dont know Autism is a mental disabilitie that causes those with it to not be hardwired for sociability. At least thats how i take it and how it i for my life. I have Aspergers, although it is the lowest in the autism spectrum this doesnt make it any easier on me. I was born with it but didnt know untill high school after finding the right counselers. Now a lot of people dont know about Aspergers because it was just recently discovered. It was at first mistaken for ADHD when in fact it is extreamly different. Now all my life i whent without the knowlege of this, my mom on the otherhand had a nagging suspition that what i had wasnt just ordinary ADHD and she was right.  throught my life i was quiet and shy, i always seemed to eather stay away from kids or get bullied by them. This caused my life to be very hard and i didnt even know why they were doing tis to me so naturally i fought back. But strangly i didnt physicly touch them instead i fought with words. Now with autism when we find something we like we stick to it and basicly become obsessed with that subject. This in turn would caue us to talk nonstop about that thing to anyone and i mean ANYONE at all who will listen. My subject was reading and writing, i took hold of this love and soon became obsessed with becoming a famous writer (i still am) and so with reading my words became larger and with writing my use of the words became greater. What did i use this for you may ask, well i did what any normal child would do to his rival; i talked. I talked and talked untill i couldnt talk no more and eventually the bullie became sick of me and left me alone. Now you would thinkthat this means everything was okay but sadly that was not to be. You see i learned how to read people, to find what agrivates them the most and since i was bullied so much my fighting with words just naturally came out; at everybody. I was afraid and couldnt stop every person i met scared me and i instinctually put up my gaurd. Its been years now and even though i have been trying to controll that itstill happens sometimes. Now that i have the right medication to help me and i am going to counseling more the past can not be undone, i have learned too much from my childhood on how to controll everything and stay away from people that its hard to change old ways and start new. My stress goes through the roof at sometimes because i have to do things im not comfertable with but cant help but push through, for example i cant stand human contact and having someone near me but i need to ride the max to get to and from school so whenever sombody needs a seat thats right next to me i let them sit there and try not to show my dcomfort but inside im going crazy. These are only some things about aspergers and autism and i hope to and probably will tell you as much as i an about it in future journals. i hope you like thi Fang
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Added: 6 years, 10 months ago
 
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