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AlexReynard

Possibly The Best Fanfic You Will Ever Read

Just look at this. Just look at this damn magnificent thing that EtherRealty found. He posted an FA journal about it and I agreed that we must share this with everyone we love.

http://lulz.net/furi/res/1802806.html

In the trachea.
Viewed: 197 times
Added: 6 years, 11 months ago
 
Rhumba
6 years, 11 months ago
That was gay and couldn't turn left right.
AlexReynard
6 years, 11 months ago
I'm half wondering if that whole running thing was inspired by the band The Left Rights.
Humbug
6 years, 11 months ago
It was too close to Full-Life Consequences for me to think it was anything but a parody.

But that doesn't make it any less hilarious.
AlexReynard
6 years, 11 months ago
I have read enough terrible fanfics that I still think this one's plausible. Even more terrifying, what if Carlos "Rescue" Thomas read FLC and was inspired by it!?
Humbug
6 years, 11 months ago
Then he chose some great source material and should be lauded.
ZephonTsol
6 years, 11 months ago
<keeps lips zipped>
Sarakha
6 years, 11 months ago
...Should I want to record myself reading this out loud?
AlexReynard
6 years, 11 months ago
I sure as hell do. :3
SeleneNightfang
6 years, 11 months ago
It makes me want to see it acted of animated out, with full narration of vocals, being as literal as possible typos and all.
AlexReynard
6 years, 11 months ago
Very agreed. Pity I can't animate.
HimaChita
6 years, 11 months ago
Well that brings out the eternal question.

Do only gay people buy Yamahas or do you become gay by buying a Yamaha? *giggle*
Alfador
6 years, 11 months ago
Nono, it's "Yaaahama"!!! XD
HimaChita
6 years, 11 months ago
Gwa!! *pounces and tickles*
ScottyKat
6 years, 11 months ago
Beware of Browser XD
Wow.. Just.. WOW
caramelthecalf
6 years, 11 months ago
Thank You Father.
asuraludu
6 years, 11 months ago
I think my muse was scared into celibacy O.o
KintoMythostian
6 years, 11 months ago
I don't know if I'm supposed to laugh or cry, due to Poe's Law.

*rereads the first sentence, gets as far as "soups"*

Screw it, I have to laugh.
AlexReynard
6 years, 11 months ago
Yaaaaay, someone mentioned Poe's Law. This is a perfect example of the trope. I honestly don't know.There's parts that hint at parody, and other parts where I'm like, "Could anyone have purposely made it this bad!?"
talon1990
6 years, 11 months ago
Oh god dammit I think I just had a dumbgasim. Wow alex simply wow im going to the doctor's to see if that much stupid intake is hazardous to my health  
AlexReynard
6 years, 11 months ago
Don't worry. If you live in America, you've long since been immunized. ;)
justacritic
6 years, 11 months ago
"Stools occur. deal with it"
Sure I'll deal with it, by crying into my grammar book (sniff)
SenGrisane
6 years, 11 months ago
A pure stroke of genius. If my head didn't have a spine my head would have falling off from grinning so wide. :DDDDDDDD
AlexReynard
6 years, 11 months ago
Thank goodness you have a spine then!
Wolfblade
6 years, 11 months ago
I think this is better: https://www.sofurry.com/page/297676/
sentzeu
6 years, 11 months ago
Uhm I get 404 File not found, anyone else in the same pickle?
AlexReynard
6 years, 11 months ago
Unfortunately, the thread died out. I'm sure the story has to be somewhere else on the web though.
AlexReynard
6 years, 11 months ago
Well, fuck it. I guess not. Thankfully, I saved a copy:
-------------



Supar Mario Bros: Brother Rescue
by Carlos "Rescue" Thomas

chapter 0ne

Luis who is Luigis brother was sitting at home in chicago wathing his soups when a phonecall came on the phone and he picked it up and asked whi is this phone. it's Lugi Mario is been kidnapped by Browser and must be recsued! Why can you do it. Because I am ill with turbukluosis. okay. and off he went gabbeing his silver shirt and gold ovreall to startt on his married adventure and do his brother rescue.

chapter 2

Luis juumped on his Kwaasaki ninja ZX 14R and poped a weely skidding out of his drivway. as hee drove he drove by many people droving Yahamas and called them gay cause Yahamas are gay and cause they can't turn left rightw and all the people got mad at him and they puled over so he pulled over and they got in a fight with each other cause Yaaahama drivers dont like be called gay but Luis nows the truth about Yahamasa and can fight with tire chain and beat them all with tire chain while doing flips and defeated them. He took a poo in the leaders helmet and then slashed all there tires with tire chain and got on his Kawaaski Ninja ZX 14R and poped aweely as he drove away.

Luis drive fast to Browsser's castle but got hungry and stopped at Taco Bell.

chapter 3

Luis took a left at Browsers castles driveway and went to backkway into Browsers castle cause he wanted to snea into Browsers castle cause that way Browser wouldn now he was coming. he popped a weely and broke down Brwosers back door kiling a koopa who was fixig his Yahaama bike but was taking a while cause Yahamas cant be fixed cause theyre gay and cant turn left right. he poped a weely on the kopa shell and suddenly appeared Birdo with nunchuks. Luis kept his weely poped as Birdo swang his nuchuk at Luis but Luos nocked the nunchuks away with his front tire and broke Birdos hand and made skid marks. Luis got off his bike and stand next to Birdo loking down at him as Birdo swung his nuchuk up at him but Luis grabed the nuckuh and broke in half and threw it away and punched Birdo in the mouth gaving him a blody lip. Birdo cryed and held his moth as Luis walked away loking cool but Birdo got back up and trid to hit Luis with his nunchuks but Luis grabed them without looking and stabbed Brido IN THE BOX with his nuchuks braking his ribcage and spine in half. Birdo died and falled to the ground dead coffing up bload as Luis walked away loking cool again.

AlexReynard
6 years, 11 months ago
Browser was fixing his Yahama which was gay and couldn turn left right when Luis broke down his door with his Kaawaski Ninja ZX 14R with its weely popped. He put the weel down and ponted at Browser. Give back Mario he said. No said Browser and he grabed his katana. Luis grabed his tire chain and they had a big cool fight in slo mo with flips like that one part in the movie sped racer except with people and not cars cause cars are gay but can turn left right cause Yahama dosnt make cars. at the end of the fight Luis hit Browser in the eye with tire chain and then ax kicked him in the trachea and kiled him. He then went over to Mraio and gave him a hand so he could stand up. Thanks Luis your pretty cool Mario said but before Luis could say he was cool to Mario got a shocked look on his face and pointed behind Luis. Luis then pulled out a Desert Eagle 357 magmun and shot Browser in the box without loking and braked his ribcage and spine in half. No browser said and fell done dead for real this time and in a blood puddle died. you loked really cool shooting him like that Mario said with a grin as he leaned in and kissed Luis. Luis yelled and pointed his Desert Eagle 375 mangum at Mario what the hell he said. Mario laughed and took of his mask and reveeled he was actully Daisy in disguise. See, I am Daisy and not Mario cause I wanted to dress up for halloween as Mario because the store was out of silver shirts and gold orvealls she said and blushed as Luis laughed. You wanted to dress up as me for hallowen he said. Yes Daisy said. Then Luis helped Daisy onto his Kawaski Nijna ZX 14R and they made love under the monlight.

chapet 4

Later when they were done making love under the moonlight Luis looked in his Taco Bell take out  bag and opened his chalroopa and said oh no they forgot my onions and Daisy and Luis laughed and laughed.

the end.

sentzeu
6 years, 11 months ago
That was hillariously well crafted awful.
AlexReynard
6 years, 11 months ago
It takes skill to fake badness that well. I still think it's possible that it's real, but I admit it's unlikely.
sentzeu
6 years, 11 months ago
Yeah it could be genuine, but its works to well that I would guess that its a fanfic. If its genuine I'd say its by a rather young kid, new to writing stories on the net. But I feel very certain that its done by someone who's read his share of bad fanfics, and wanted to create a hilarious parody.
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