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Thoughts - over and over again, damn paranioa

Ok, with my ex, we use to play this little (ok I heard in my head of a msn post wtf is with that).              role-playing game (profile- I heard it again!...well my profile has basic past and furute profile of it, we did it for a year in total) and it was satisfying just basic imagination, and yeah. That little fun escalated into alittle..heh...rather not say,  but yeah, it was fun. Now all I can think about is that, once she wanted to play it, but I didn't feel like it before she mentioned it, one thing I hate a lot, but yeah, I really want to play it, why? Because I just got this planned out in my head, even the senarios, over and over again, christ its a lot, but yeah, basic.

Other matters, tommorow is "her" b'day, yes I've got her a present, a insulting but funny one, with microbe revenge in it, and wrapped in "birthday boy" wrapping paper, as a good insult, plus I have a card that's a basic "woopti-freakin doo its your b'day, get over yourself, and yeah. Plus that's all she gets, degrading me, means I degrade her, plus the fact she thinks she gets to push me around as if I was her "dog" like before, nahh...I treat her like I do to the other girls, messing around in a nice entertaining annoyment way, anyway she has a posse of punching bags/tools/nerds/gamergeeks/dogs, yet...when she is angery, and wants a punching baf, she chooses me, and me in particular. Now the bad part isn't the kicking and punching, its the bullshit that comes out of her mouth when I defend myself, she pulls crap up from the past whenever she feels retaliation, what I hate the most about her, being such a pussy, even though she says she's more grown up, a load of shit, hell I ain't saying I am but I ain't blind or stupid, so yeah....

huh...if I ever get back with her....I'm gonna share her all this shit about her to her, probably ruin my relationship if we get back together, but I don't want that, I want her to wake the fuck up and grow up like she says she is, because to behonest,outside of me, I'm helpless, I can only be serious if I got a goal to, otherwise, nope, I'm a crazy bastard, one thing I hate that I'm helpless at. So yeah, if I ever get back together with her, I'm sharing all this shit to her, maybe she will learn, maybe she won't and comepletely shit face scared run away from the relationship, or maybe she will be a stubborn scorpio and denie it all, and attempt to prove me wrong, not through now things, but from the basics, the crap and mistakes I made in the past, predictable now, and if I was right, I CALLED IT!!

(Ps sorry, but I gotta get this shit down for a reason, preparation if so, I don't want her bitching, I want her standing up and bitching or something close to not being a pussy and using the typical run tactic, and that bit of paranioa with msn beep...it was paranioa or a song on my ipod, thank my ex for that one...heh also her b'day pressy is spiked with toilet water, but I left a warning on the B'day card)
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Added: 7 years, 5 months ago
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