Do you know what hurts more than having your expectations being let down by something? Try having your lower than an ant's knee expectations matched.
It has been nearly 10 years since Nintendo produced a new Star Fox game and not some polished re-release of a game that had its day nearly 20 years ago. As you can imagine, with each year the company I grew to love during the GameCube era spoke no mention of my favourite franchise of theirs, my hopes for anything after Command (which never felt like a definitive end to the series) faded.
Then in 2014, after the desperate attempt to help the struggling 3DS get some titles into its meager library with an N64 port, it happened. News that Nintendo were working on a Star Fox Wii U title. But everything was being kept very secretive. At first, it seemed like an interesting concept to use the Wii U's touch screen controller as a view from the cockpit but when the motion control idea was mentioned, memories of sore arms, stiff necks and stretched backs from the Wii began to circle in my head.
Alarm bells began to ring when more of what little details began to emerge. You could turn off the motion controls or just switch the views from the controller to the TV. A pointless gimmick and it sounding like something the console desperately needed back in 2012 as a demo to prove what it could do. Then the length of development emerged. It had been in planning and experimental stages since 2008 and was original meant for the Wii.
So it was clear these guys didn't have a clue what to do. Then Mr Nintendo Miyamoto said he wasn't even sure how the game would be released, be it in disc form or in episodic downloadable segments. My heart was past my feet at this point.
Roll around to this year and after an admittedly enjoyable segment with the main three Nintendo execs changing into Star Fox characters in puppet form, game play footage was revealed. What little hope had been mustered by the skit was soon lost. My underwhelmed state stared at the clearly Nintendo 64 inspired visuals, game play and sounds... yes, that line. That fucking line the senile hare spews up that is technically incorrect. Know you ailerons.
I re-engaged when the Inari shine appeared on the screen and Shigeru talked about the history of the series but one line describing the game got me in particular.
"We've rebuilt the game using ideas from the past but it is not a part four or part five. It is not a remake either so we named it Star Fox Zero."
Perfect. It couldn't have a better title. The game is stuck in its own endless loop, unable to decide where to go or how to innovate. What the team do know is what it is doing and that is providing fan service to the ones who despised Adventures, were underwhelmed by Assault and offended by Command. The ones who just want another Star Fox 64. Yes, Miyamoto said it isn't a remake but seriously, take a look at the footage of Zero, then run it next to 64 and the cancelled Star Fox 2 on SNES. It's a love letter and an olive branch to the ones who didn't like stepping out of the cockpit. Also, where is Krystal? Yo, Anita Sarkeesian, got a female being ignored over here. Big step back for women blah blah blah cake for Mario.
What hurts the most is that it is being developed by Platinum Games. A developer known for producing fun and innovative titles paired with a series known for being a showcase for concepts and ideas. This should have been epic. I shouldn't be writing this right now. I don't want to hate the company everybody loves but the sad fact is the game has the perfect title for another reason. I have zero interest in Star Fox Zero.
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8 years, 10 months ago
16 Jun 2015 22:09 CEST
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