Ok, now that is out of the way, let me explain. That is in no way meant offense or attacks at anyone. As most people on my friends list i talk to often knows, among many others who I hardly talk to or just met, had issues with species, and changed a lot. And why? I cared too much about opinions, and people wanting me to be species, implanting their wants on me, my wanting to make me what they want. Few know about the drama I dealt with that drove me from kangaroo really.
Simply put, all those people that controlled me, and most of all, the voices in my head, telling me to become this, or go that, fuck you, in the nicest way possible. XD I deal with temptation too much with that, cause of some issues and the voices in my head (got Schizophrenia and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociative_identity_dis... formerly known as 'multiple-personality disorder, the DID is professionally diagnosed by a psych.) looking at a species I liked, telling me, how I should be it, focusing on an aspect and forcing me though suggestion to do it. And when lost and confused, I'd ask people for help, suggestions, caught in a catch 22, I listen, they control my species, I ignore suggestion, I feel lost, and am still controlled.
Some people told me they don't care, or simply, said they didn't understand it, why it's so hard. Really, I can blame it on my mental issues all I want, but really, it's more my weak will at the times. So frankly, fuck everyone, even myself, I'm going to go with what I want. And what I want, is what I wanted years ago, before many people pressured and guilted me back to ferret, the same thing that tops my list as all time favorite and special animal to me from the first time I saw one in RL in my own back yard. I am going otter, and I have https://www.furaffinity.net/user/renardfoxx (didn't know how to put the FA account link here) to thank for it, for, well, frankly, making me feel bad and stupid, like an idiot, every time I had issues with species and would ask me, why the big deal, just be what you want and tell other people to just shut the fuck up and let me be me.
And more so, thanks to him for showing me https://www.furaffinity.net/view/6452954/ which, the hotness of it, reminded me of otter and made me question, why i didn't go otter and stay with it since I am so obsessed with them. Which, usual to him, he said "I'll never be able to understand why the species thing is such a big deal |3" and like usual, made me feel bad, but got me thinking, why don't I? Didn't take a lot of thinking to think of everyone that told me I wasn't ottery enough, or not an otter, how otter didn't fit me, or didn't like otter as much so went to their species and imposed it on me.
You all can laugh at me if/when I change from this, like I know everyone expects me to, but frankly, fuck everyone that imposes their own wants on me with no regrets, and thank you to the people that understand or tried to anyway, cause this is what I want really well, to be an otter, and enjoy it and not worry about pleasing people.