How to word this? How to word this? Almost ten years and it's still as difficult as ever to explain how this has affected me, in so profoundly a way that sometimes I can't tell if it's real or not -- in my dreams or otherwise. Some may wonder why I draw Azlynn so much and not really anything (or anyone) else. It's not that I can't draw anything or anyone else, it's that nothing else really gives me a reason to. Azlynn is... well, that's what's so difficult to describe. I suppose the description would have to come in the form of a question:
Have you ever loved someone so much that you couldn't let go?
Well, that's the way I feel about him. He's the closest thing to the son I never had, and so that's why I refer to him as my son. Having said that, it's really hard for me to find the time to really wind down and relax when I'm hopped up on creative energy all day. This is a 24/7 affair, and so in that way it's my own best friend and my own worst enemy. The time I get to spend drawing Azlynn is a lot like me spending time with my son -- just him and I and nothing else in between. Whether writing or drawing, working with Azlynn doesn't feel like work at all, though I must admit that writing stories about him proves to be most difficult because he is such a complex character -- kind of like I am internally complex, but externally simple. That, and it's really hard to write a story about a character who is internally complex because the character is the story. There are aspects of different genres that are blended into a single story, and this makes sticking to a single genre relatively easy.
It's true that Azlynn doesn't only look a little like his dad, he is his father's son. I know one day I'll be able to hug and kiss him, and tell him how he was there for me long before he was born,and proceed to show him a world of love, peace, and understanding... to give him back everything he's given me. Yes, that makes me a proud daddy, whether he is real or not.
7 years, 3 months ago
08 Sep 2011 05:10 CEST