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Demongirl1123

I wanna move out (rant)

I live with my mom,brother,boy friend, and new addition my moms friend and her son.
And this past summer its been driving me crazy.

First off events happen in such a way to where my mom is at my boyfriends throat, making him feel like he's not welcomed, but we pay rent, its not like we're free loading, but it wouldn't matter if we were paying all but $100 my mom would still feel she's queen bee and what she says goes.

Then she loves to make little remarks like "oh I hate to see what your house will look like" cause somehow me and my bf are the dirtiest people in the world, or we use up the most electricity, or water, or we eat up all the food.
Which as far as I'm concerned we don't, we both work, making it so there are certain hours of the day where we aren't even home to do such things. And even if I want to eat all the food we have, I bought most of it!
As for the water, come on, everyone takes two showers a day, so why single out us?
cause we can pay for it if it gets overboard.
Oh and don't get me started on this cleaning business, when somethings not done right its me and my bf that get chewed out, like we made everything dirty and just left, why should I have to clean up this mess, I stay in my room like most the time i'm home....so does my bf.



But

I have this fear that when I move out everything will fall apart.
While my mom likes to make comment on us leaving, she also makes comments about how the two of us wouldn't be able to live on our own.
And because she's my mom, I kinda believe her.
And with our luck it just seems like that will be the case
We could saves up for a year, move out, then something would be wrong with our car, or some shit would happen so that we wouldn't have anything to fall back on.
Plus I hate my job and everyday I go I think about how much I just wanna quit and be down with it.

And since we don't have many friends that live on there on, rooming would be out of the question

I should just get it over with......

But i'm too scared of the real world....

feels good to get this stuff off my chest even if its small stuff      
Viewed: 71 times
Added: 7 years, 3 months ago
 
Slyth
7 years, 3 months ago
if you and your bf have a job move out into a cheap apartment
Husky657
7 years, 3 months ago
easier said then done in honesty.
Demongirl1123
7 years, 3 months ago
thats what he says, but I still have my fears >.<
Slyth
7 years, 3 months ago
well then maby your not ready yet you will know when the time has come
Husky657
7 years, 3 months ago
If you want to move out, best to start researching.  Get numbers, get facts, get values.  It's like my dad always told me... "Don't talk to me about fiscal issues until you have done your calculations and you have all the information you need. Only then will I listen and help."
It's tough, don't get me wrong, but it's not as bad if you know what you're doing.  Yes, you'll flub up here and there, and things will happen, but having a good buffer (money wise) is the safest plan... savings accounts are more usefull than just a storage place and a number, not to mention a savings plan.
phyrexfirestorm
7 years, 3 months ago
A lot of people who move out on their own really don't knwo what to expect. I  didnt, and it was a challenge for me to begin. However, as long as you have the will to make it work, it chould work well. Just dont lose your job. That alone is what put me BACK with my parents. (And I am going through the exact same things you are. Trust me.)

life aint a picnic, but if everyone brings something to the table, it can be.
fc32
7 years, 3 months ago
I'd say that you should try and make a go of it on your own.  You cna't let your parents run your adult life and even if the going's tough, at least you'll be there for each other.
Alfador
7 years, 3 months ago
From the way it sounds, you'll be just fine moving out... it's them who'll fall apart without someone to blame all their problems on. :oD
Demongirl1123
7 years, 3 months ago
lol yeah
but of course I still love my mom so I wouldn't want anything bad to happen so i'll have to tell her in advance
craigg
7 years, 3 months ago
i'm still living at my mothers too, and honestly, i know that its quite a scary step to leave home.

but i'm also pretty sure that it's not half as hard as i'm afraid it would be... even moreso when you're in a relationship where you have someone to lean on, if things get frustrating or difficult.

i've read quite a lot about parents sounding like dicks lately... and some of them didnt even seem to realize, that without the children paying rent and more often than not, helping in the house and adding money for groceries etc, things would get much harder for them...
well yeah, maybe you should move out. you're not alone, you both have jobs, so thats a huge plus. so maybe, unless you dont actually see much future with your boyfriend, now'd be a good time to make plans, check for rentable rooms,  and stuff like that. its not like you need to move half a country away, to avoid the stress and stuff, two streets would probably suffice.
Demongirl1123
7 years, 3 months ago
I know right, feeling really unappreciated like 80% of the time
but it does have its benefits, like I know there have been 2 or 3 times where she's taken less rent because something went wrong with our are.
I doubt I can move anywhere and have that happen lol.
And he is a huge plus, lol cause with my job they barely wanna give me 25 hours, so I could never do it alone, not unless I was working full time, and not for minimum wage :/  
kenni08
7 years, 3 months ago
Living on your own is not as bad/hard as every one makes it out to be. No, its not a walk in the park, but it's not like your building a park either. the difficulty of finding a place to rent is solely dependent on location. Living in Texas, I can find a nice 3 bedroom 2 bath room house for rent and only pay $500 a month. Where living in New York, I would have payed $900 and up for a little hole in the wall. (1bedroom/ living room type thing. 1 bathroom, and everything looks like it was taken from an abandoned apartment complex or something. *sigh*) but if you look at it this way. you are not going to be living on your own. It's you and your bf and you both work am I correct? so it shouldn't be too hard. If you want any other advice on the matter just pm me. I can tell you  everything you need to know. oh and sorry for making this so long he he ^^'
Demongirl1123
7 years, 3 months ago
o3o wished I lived in Texas
for $500 in daytona beach I can get an pretty ok 1 bedroom 1 bath apartment, but maybe i'm not looking hard enough
there are cheaper places, but I dont want to risk my safety and well being for something dift cheap and in the ghetto lol
kenni08
7 years, 3 months ago
yeah with places like Daytona beach. $500 is risking it. I live in the country area of Texas with the cows and the chickens and stuff. 2 houses I'm looking at are both remodeled and have a big front and back yard. for the $500 asking price is great for me. Because houses are so far apart where i live, there are no worries about *ahem* ghetto people. most places are secluded slices of heaven, but that also means having to do a lot of cleaning and things. I can help you search if u ever need it. oh and you are bound to be nervous. In times like that the best think is to just get up and do it.
Demongirl1123
7 years, 3 months ago
I think once we finish paying off this car we'll have a bit more breathing room, since we both have no credit we're paying $300 a month for the car, and $220 for the insurance......
I think i've made up my mind for something though!
Not gonna move out until I have this car paid off .

We actually lived in South Carolina for a bit, but everything is so far , and while gas wasnt too bad, it would take 20 mins just to get to the nearest gas station , then 10 more to get to the supermarket.
Here i'm 1-10 minutes away from everything owo
And as long as i'm not imposing i'll take your help :3
kenni08
7 years, 3 months ago
Any time. Consider it thanks for being able to see such great art every time I sign on :P Its good you have your mind made up. South Carolina Is like the area in Texas I live. Its kinda annoying sometimes having to drive 10 - 15 minutes just to get milk or something like that. -_- but at least its quiet.
RaynetheJester
7 years, 3 months ago
Im pretty much going through the same thing. Im still fairly young but Ive had it living at home. The main problem is, I don't have a job. Ive been looking and looking but finding a good job is tough shit. Im way behind as far as all the plans I had goes. I want to be out by this time next year and I need to hurry up and find a damn job already so I can finally leave.  I too feel a bit nervous about it but I think it will all be worth getting away from the folks. We all gotta leave the nest at some point.
Demongirl1123
7 years, 3 months ago
It took me awhile to get a job, I was 20 when I finally got one lol owo;;
I'm gonna be 21 in oct.....I thought I would be high tailing when I got my job, but then all this nervousness set in ;;n;
RaynetheJester
7 years, 3 months ago
I can understand. Its a pretty big deal leaving home and having to support yourself. Im 19 and I had my last job when I was 18. It sucks really bad for me cause I just wanna work. X3
Infinityplus1
7 years, 3 months ago
Two showers a day, huh?  

Sorry, that just caught my attention.   You mean like, you take one before you start the day, and another before you go to bed?  

Yeah, I understand the whole dilemma about moving out, especially in this economy.  It's a big risk.  I would probably avoid high cost areas.  Where I'm at is pretty nice, if you don't mind not being near anything fancy.  Of course the problem with the low cost regions is that they don't have many places to work, so you'd probably end up commuting a lot.  

Saving some money is a good idea even if you don't plan on moving out for a long time.  It's nice to have some "oh crap!" money on hand for emergencies.  It costs a lot of money to be broke.
Demongirl1123
7 years, 3 months ago
well either in the morning, or before I go to work...just in case i'm feeling lazy in the morning lol o.o;;

Yeah we're trying to avoid those area's
and we've found some pretty cheap places closer to our jobs then the place we live now.
I'm always a little skeptical about those places though .

"It costs alot of money to be broke"~~so so true
Shokuji
7 years, 3 months ago
Hope you feel better. And I hope things do get better for you. Best of luck! =)
Demongirl1123
7 years, 3 months ago
I'm feeling a bit better about it ^^
and thank you!
need all the luck I can get lol
Catwheezle
7 years, 3 months ago
Yeah, being broke is hard. Here's how my wife and I do it. Feel free to steal the parts that work for you, ignore the rest.

First, we made a budget. If you haven't ever done that, do it now, and get into the habit of following it before you move out, because money will be tighter. Basically, figure out what your monthly bills will be: rent, health insurance, car insurance, electric, water, fuel for the car, fuel for heating/cooling if it's not electric, mobile phones, house phones, internet, and so on. Then figure out what your monthly income is. When your paycheck comes in, put aside that money for bills, either in an envelope marked with the name of the bill (our method: very low tech is best!), or in a separate account or something. Pay them all at a certain date: set an alarm in your phone and on your computer calendar and stuff, to remind you.

Keep a track of all money that comes in from wages, and goes out to those bills: a simple text file is fine, and is what we use (low tech, yay!). This will make you love yourself when it comes time to do your taxes.

All that much is obvious, and everyone who wants to survive in today's world already does something like that. The fun bit;s what happens with the. The money that's left over from our hardcore bills, we allocate three ways.

1) "Misc bills!" This is the cat litter, groceries, vet bills, and other monthly household expenses that aren't covered by the bills above. Anything that doesn't get spent by the end of the month gets carried over to the next month.

2) "Savings!" Obvious. This is for those Big Things - when your car breaks down, you get ill and need to cover the copay and excess, your fridge dies and you need a new one, and so on. Try never to let your savings drop below $2k, and ideally way, way more than that. Never ever spend money out of this. Not even if your car breaks down and you get cancer and stuff.

3) "Go Nuts!" This is the very special "pocket money" that we split between ourselves and guard possessively. This is money that belongs to US, individually, and not the household. We can spend it on anything we want, without any guilt: eat out, have a slushie, go to the cinema, save it to upgrade our computer, buy an art commission... Without this category of money, we'd be slaves to each other. This money is our independence. If you find that you can't afford this category, it's time to start looking for a cheaper place to live, or a better-paying job, because life is about to get unbearable.
Catwheezle
7 years, 3 months ago
But yeah: it's a heck of a jump, and I'd get some savings together before trying it, but *absolutely* get the hell out of there and get a place of your own. There's nothing like the freedom of your own place, even if you have to get a shared place, simply *not sharing with family* is such a great feeling, I can't describe it.

Go for somewhere that's far enough from your family that they can only visit once a week at best, but try to still find somewhere with plenty of supportive friends in the neighbourhood you move to, because it'll make it a lot less likely that you end up feeling overwhelmed and lonely and need to run back to parents.
Demongirl1123
7 years, 3 months ago
heh then we have a long way to go XD

But I can see how alot of that stuff is needed...I can also see myself moving out without alot of savings.
My plan was to save up 1k, then when income tax time came me and my bf would put all the money together then try to move, i'm sure after paying up everything we wouldnt have a dime left ;;n;
Catwheezle
7 years, 3 months ago
So long as you have an income, and credit cards, I guess the savings aren't *that* important. But they are really nice when you have them.

But either way - good luck, and I hope you find an awesome place together, and that your standards of house-tidying don't clash too badly :)
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