This is an open letter to any college driver ranging between the ages of 18 and 22 who currently drive around the university area of the city where I live:
STOP BREAKING THE LAW, ASSHOLES.
It is entirely possible to get wherever you need to go while driving the speed limit. And more surprisingly, you can get there within a limited time-frame if you leave *early*! You do NOT have to ride my back bumper, nor do you have to race me to the next stoplight *just* so you can enter my lane and save a whole TWO seconds of driving.
Because that's what all of that reckless driving is saving you. Seconds. Not hours, not minutes. Seconds of time. You will, at best, arrive someplace maybe a minute and a half earlier than when you would've had you been driving safely and at the speed limit. Instead, you're putting yourself and everyone else (including me and the foxy I love who rides with me) at risk because you're either impatient, have poor planning skills, or just do not care.
I realize full well that this journal makes me sound incredibly old and decrepit and something of a curmudgeon because I am raining on your parade. But I don't care. I very nearly got ran over tonight by some dipshit driver who absolutely HAD to get past me so they could turn in the turn lane next to me. Someone merged into my lane in a crosswalk intersection, nearly took the entire front half of my car off, and then flipped me off (easily visible in the light) because I was the asshole who dared to not drive at 80 miles an hour within city limits.
And for what? Some fresh young thing give you a booty call and you absolutely HAVE to be there within five seconds? What's that? The drive-thru's gonna close and you need to have you some burgers? Hmmm? Oh, you just HAVE to catch that late late showing of Captain America right fucking now and damned be anyone who gets in your way.
I was young once. I was stupid once. I have, in fact, been both at once. I have driven drunk. I am *extremely* lucky to have not killed anyone (or myself) or hit anything while doing so. I look back now and regret having been such a poor driver. Because while nothing bad DID happen, it could've. And I know enough to know that most driving accidents these days are not because of the car malfunctioning, but because the drivers operating them are being incredibly unsafe drivers. A few years ago, I wouldn't have cared. But these days, I have something to care about. I have someone to care about. I intend to be with him as long as I can.
And you butthead drivers are chancing my happiness and wellbeing for your precious 17 seconds of saved time. Grow up, leave earlier, drive safer. You'll save yourself a LOT of heartache and speeding tickets. And you'll arrive guaranteed in one piece instead of *maybe* in one piece.
Thank you so much. Now go about your business and please try to be more considerate of other people on the road.
P.S. Misogynistic as it may sound, any female drivers who read this and do their makeup while driving with their free hand need to have their license taken away. For a LONG while. If you couldn't be arsed to get your face together before you left, you shouldn't try to do it while you're on the road. End of discussion.
7 years, 6 months ago
09 Aug 2011 07:58 CEST