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AlexReynard

TRANSFORMERS: VERB OF THE NOUN Review

Let's leave the FA/IB drama behind us and get to something that I actually enjoy talking for hours about. Movies.


Yesterday I saw Michael Bay's Transformers: Dark Of The Moon. Given my reaction to the last two films, I was already anticipating titling this review Transformers: Turd Of The Poop. I didn't even pay to see it. Like with ROTF, I paid to see a better movie, then sneaked into the Transformers theater. Why? So that the theater gets paid, but Bay doesn't. He doesn't deserve my money. I gave it to JJ Abrams instead, because I loved the fucking hell out of Super 8.

Now, I hate Michael Bay's movies so much its almost a hobby.
I talk about them a lot.
I mean, a lot.
I mean, seriously, ad nauseam.
To the point where an observer might conclude I have gone mad.

Which is why it feels bizarre as hell to have to say this:

Dark Of The Moon isn't terrible.

Now, I didn't go in there hoping it would be terrible so I could bitch about it (Okay, yeah, I did somewhat); I went in with the same attitude I always have when I go to the movies. "Okay, I know that this will have some flaws, as all movies do. But I'm ready to have the good parts of the film make me want to overlook those flaws."

And for the most part, DOTM pulls it off. Not to say that there aren't MASSIVE FLAWS in this movie. Oh sweet weeping Christ no. But they're the types of flaws I've forgiven in other action movies that I've begrudgingly liked.

The biggest thing that's thankfully gone from this movie is the sense of 'uncleanliness' I felt while watching the first two. Watching Bay's movies, I get the impression that they are made by a man whose personality is that of the douchebag jock from 80s teen comedies. Transformers and Revenge Of The Fallen are two godawful movies that have an underlying nastiness that skeeves me right out. Dark Of The Moon manages to avoid much of the racism, inappropriate humor, nationalism and contempt for the audience which those two had. These elements still pop up in DOTM sometimes, but it's like an occasional fleck of spittle in your face instead of a full-on projectile vomit. Not good; but way better than the alternative.

That seems to be what a lot of people are saying. For once, I'll disagree with the reviewers calling this the "WORST MOVIE EVERRRR!!!" Aside from the fact that Bad Boys 2 is the worst movie ever, this one really doesn't deserve so much hate. It's the best of the trilogy, easily. But that statement needs to be put in perspective. The first two movies are like a lapful of rotting meat. This one's like a greasy, cheap hamburger. It is in no way a thing of greatness, but at least it's edible.

Since this movie is about as uneven as hand-grenades in your oatmeal, let's take a look at the individual elements of it, shall we?

THE CHARACTERS (and holy shit there are a lot of them)

*OPTIMUS PRIME: Kind of scary, actually. In some scenes he's deeply concerned with the welfare of all living beings, in other scenes he's all like "KILL ALL DECEPTICONS! BLAGGH!!!" He gets to do some very badass stuff at the end though. Oh, and he flies for a little bit. Which is awesome.

*MEGATRON: He looks great. Beaten but still holding on to dignity. Sadly, he doesn't get anywhere near the screentime he deserves. It's like they don't know what to do with him.

*SENTINEL PRIME: Easily the best-looking robot in the whole franchise. I dunno why there's beads in his beard, but his pointy red body moves fluidly and commands attention. His firetruck mode is a thing of beauty too. All this and Leonard Nimoy's voice! It's a shame that the motivation for most of his actions in the film feels scripted instead of genuine. Also, they actually have him say a Spock quote. It's pointless and made me groan in pain.

*BUMBLEBEE: He's there in the film, but doesn't leave much of an impression. Probably because they've never actually given him a personality. He still talks in radio snippets, but he's gotten better at it and it sounds like real dialogue now.

*STARSCREAM: Still looks like a chicken fucked a trapezoid, and he doesn't get much screentime, but he's the simpering, scheming bastard he's supposed to be and that we all love.

*SOUNDWAVE: Sadly, they kinda fuck him up. He's been demoted from communications officer to 'Go spy on Sam's girlfriend'. He turns into a sleek silver car now. As if there's not enough cars in the movie already. And where did all his extra mass go? He used to be a freakin' orbital satellite! Plus, they gave him eyes instead of a visor. His head was perfect the last time! Why'd they fuck with it!?

*SHOCKWAVE: He looks goddamn awesome. A close 2nd place to Sentinel. Again though, he doesn't do much besides command a gigantic burrowing metal worm that eats buildings. His role is basically that of the keeper of the Rancor monster. And he doesn't talk!! How hard would it have been to have David Warner record him some lines!?

*IRONHIDE: Gets one scene of solid badassery. [BIG ASS SPOILER] ...then they kill him. A lot of my other complaints are nitpicks, but I really hated that they did this. I liked Ironhide. Why didn't they kill off someone else we didn't give a shit about? Still, it wasn't like when they killed off Jazz. He got to do something cool right beforehand and his death was treated with importance. Still, I hate when a movie kills off a character just to shock the audience.

*RATCHET: Doesn't get a single damn thing to do. I thought at least he'd be healing 'bots in the climax.

*DINO: Is a pretty cool guy. eh has chain hooks on his arms and doesn't afraid of anything. Why is he called Dino though? I know it's a model of Ferrari, which he is, but it just makes me think of The Flintstones. (He was originally going to be Mirage. I would have loved to have seen a blue-and-white Ferrari Enzo robot. <shakes head sadly>)

*QUE: EEEYAH!!! God, his head looks freaky! Like a skinned skull!! He's an Einsteinlike pacifist inventor who contributes exactly one thing and eventually dies. It's a relief. (They nearly called him Wheeljack, which would have made no sense.)

*WHEELIE: In my ROTF review, this was my description of him: "Kill it now. Jesus Christ, kill that annoying little piece of shit right now." So one of the biggest surprises of the movie was that Wheelie ended up redeeming himself as a character. His accent's toned down, he's more mellow and thoughtful now, and during the climactic battle, him and his new sidekick Brains do something genuinely selfless and heroic. I'm dumbfounded.

*BRAINS: It seems like he very easily could have been the new annoying racism-bot, but all those qualities are toned way down from what Skids and Mudflap were. His voice sounds black, but not in any offensive way. His lines are sometimes funny. He actually helps a few times. He's more interesting for how awful he could have been, but managed not to be. (I have a feeling his and Wheelie's parts were written for Skids and Mudflap though. They're even voiced by the same two guys!)

*CRANKCASE & CROWBAR: Hard to tell them apart. They're two of three black SUV Decepticons that attack the Autobots. Ironhide and Sideswipe fuck them up.

*HATCHET: Crankcase & Crowbar's pet cat-thing. Like Ravage on steroids. Sadly, you hardly get to see him before he dies. Also, his toy is a jet. What?

*SIDESWIPE: Once again, criminally underused. And they changed his voice actor for some reason. He still looks great, he gets one solid sequence with Ironhide, then it's into the background for the rest of the movie. Man, this poor guy gets shit on.

*LASERBEAK: Wow he's an asshole. He looks like a skinned chicken. And he drools. And he talks, which is weird. Why does he get lines and Shockwave doesn't!?

*THE WRECKERS; ROADBUSTER, TOPSPIN AND LEADFOOT: Everyone expected these guys to take Skids & Mudflap's place as the irritating shitballs of the film. Amazingly, they're not. Double-amazingly, I wanted to see more of them. There's no explanation for why they're NASCARs, but they're a trio of heavily-armed brutal mechanics ...and they're British! I'd assumed they were gonna be rednecks! Their voices kinda run together though, so I'm not sure if Topspin even got any lines. They look cool though.

*THAT GIANT MANTIS-THING THAT TURNS INTO A GARBAGE TRUCK: This movie's Dispensor. He gets maybe thirty seconds, total, of screentime. And he's one of the coolest-looking things in the movie. GODDAMMIT. They had better fucking make a toy of him. I want a realistic garbage truck Transformer SO BAD.

*THAT GREEN HEAD-WITH-LEGS THAT FOLLOWS MEGATRON AROUND: I... don't even know.

*BARRICADE: Yaaaay! They actually closed one of the first movie's biggest plot holes and had Barricade show up during the climax! Poor bastard gets shot in the eye though.

*AND SOME ODD CAMEOS: I am not sure, but in one scene I think I saw Jolt in vehicle mode. During the big battle, I swear Long Haul and Brawl were in the background, and I'm pretty sure they both got killed in earlier movies. (Though the same thing happened with Blackout and Bonecrusher in ROTF.) Also, there's a robot who might be The Doctor crawling around Megatron's head in one scene. He gets squished before he can say anything though.

Now for the humans.

*SAM WITWICKY: Shia's performance is more committed this time. He's supposed to be frustrated and panicky for most of the movie, and he does it well. There's one scene where he's 'fixing' his junky car that got a laugh out of the whole theater.

*CARLY: This was one of the biggest mistakes of the movie. This character IS Mikaela. But blonde and British. It's painfully clear that the script was written with Mikaela in mind, but Megan Fox got fired, so they changed a handful of lines and like magic, she's a new character. The smart thing to do would have been to recast her. They did that in The Dark Knight and nobody cared. Should have done it here too. Carly is mostly useless and exists to be kidnapped, but does get one surprisingly badass scene with Megatron. Really. Also, there's one shot during the bigass climax, after she's been sweating and rolling around in her outfit for days, where I actually said out loud, "BOY, YOUR CLOTHES SURE ARE WHITE!" Gleaming white. I almost have to wonder if it was an intentional reference to Mikaela's clothes in the last film.

*SAM'S PARENTS: They're still horrifically annoying, and they wear green pants and Mom jokes about Sam's dick, but thankfully, they are in this way less and their scenes go by fast.

*PATRICK DEMPSEY'S CHARACTER (because I couldn't remember his name): Slimy asshole. He commits one of the worst moments of 'kidnapping someone, then giving them information that could ruin the entire plan' I've ever seen. Though maybe it was to show that he's waffling between which side he's on. It's possible.

*JOHN MALKOVICH AND FRANCIS MACDORMAND'S CHARACTERS: These people can act. These people have won Oscars. WHY DO BOTH OF THEM ACT SO BIZARRE IN THIS? They act in ways normal humans simply do not behave. Which brings me to...

*KEN JEONG'S CHARACTER: Some of what he does is funny, but all of it is purposeless. Someone who acts this erratic could not function in society. Period.

*ALAN TUDYK'S CHARACTER: I like the guy, but he's ANOTHER weirdo who seems like he's just improvising most of his part. No real reason for him being in the movie.

*JON TURTURRO, JOSH DUHAMEL AND TYRESE GIBSON: Yeah, they're in this too.

*LESTER SPEIGHT'S CHARACTER: He's a big giant black man who complains a lot. For the most part, he feels like an actual person instead of a racist caricature. Still, he gets annoying.

*THAT GUY IN THE MAILROOM: He only has half-a-minute of screentime. He uses all of it to be an annoying fuck and make me hate him.


THE DIRECTING
Either Michael Bay has actually learned from past criticism (which would be nice but it's unlikely), or someone was seriously restraining him throughout filming. Almost everything that was truly awful about ROTF is reigned in here. Yet it feels grudgingly so. It feels like this movie wanted to be just as stupidly offensive, and all of that was going to happen but was cut out. There are some jarringly odd edits in this. Places where there was definitely a scene linking two other scenes and it's just gone for some reason. That might actually have to do with Skids and Mudflap. Some scenes with them in it were shot, but there was such backlash against them that they were completely cut out. (Amusingly, Michael Bay even offered a $25,000 reward to anyone who can find them in the movie. And even more amusingly, supposedly someone already has. What do you wanna bet Bay never had any intention of paying up?)

The pacing is actually pretty good in this. It's one-hundred and fifty-seven minutes long, but honestly does not feel like it. It helps that the story is coherent enough that you feel you're actually following something.

The action sequences are better. Either that, or I've just gotten used to watching things in Bay-vision. They do feel slowed down and not as shaky. Finally, you actually get to SEE some of the stuff that happens in the movie. There's good use of slo-mo and panoramic city shots. I didn't bother with 3D (because for me it just makes movies dimmer without adding anything), but a lot of the shots had enough depth that I don't think 3D was necessary.

Two action scenes stand out: one with army guys flying through the city in wingsuits (that turn them into human flying squirrels), and one with all the human heroes tumbling around in a skyscraper that's being cracked in half. Some of these parts are genuinely awesome, in the sense you feel awe watching them. But here's part of the problem. Once again, this movie spends too much time with the humans and not the damn Transformers. Even though the skyscraper scene was great, it made me wonder where the hell all the robots were at.


THE SPECIAL EFFECTS
Better than ROTF. With that film, there was just something slightly 'off' about the robots. They didn't feel like they were 'there' as much as they did in the first film. This one does it flawlessly though. Not once did I ever doubt that the Transformers were really there and interacting with the humans and the environment. Sometimes I even thought to myself, 'How the hell can they look this real!?' The only two times I felt something looked fakey was one shot of the Autobots' ship, The Chrysanthemum (or something like that) taking off, and a few shots of JFK's CGI head.

Did I mention that Presidents Kennedy, Nixon and Obama are all in this movie? BUZZ ALDRIN AND BILL O'REILEY ARE BOTH IN THIS MOVIE. AS THEMSELVES. WHAT THE BAAAAAAALLS!?!?


THE WRITING
Maybe Kurtz and Orci were the problem the entire time. Ethan Kruger wrote a little of ROTF's "script", but he did all of DOTM, and that's a good thing. There's one consistent story throughout that is relatively followable. It's far from what any movie's storyline should be, but for a sci-fi-action movie it's about average in terms of 'What the hell is happening?'.

ROTF had a big problem with some characters getting lots of screentime and other characters getting blink-and-you'll-miss-them appearances. Again, DOTM is better but not quite good. There's a hell of a lot of characters in this, and most of them get at least one scene to stand out. This has its own problem though. Characters are given individual scenes instead of feeling like part of the movie as a whole. Imagine the consistency of stew. Now imagine the consistency of spaghetti and meatballs. Do you get the analogy? In one, the meat is a part of the whole, in the other, it's in big roly-poly lumps that fall off your fork.

Also, physics. There is a scene in this; the culmination of the villains' master plan, which is the one true screamer of the film. You'll know it when you see it. It's BIG. There is no fucking way it could happen without cataclysmically screwing up Earth's gravity and probably killing everything on Earth. And yet it happens anyway. ROTF was crammed full of howlingly wrong bullshit, and I'm sure I may notice more after I think about DOTM for a while, but this was the only one that really stood out. It was almost welcome. Like, "Hi! I'm the impossibly stupid thing that always happens in Michael Bay movies! Good to be back!"

The movie ends really abruptly too. And a lot of characters die in the climax. So many that I don't know how they could pull off a sequel. There's a rather big loose end that could provide fodder for one, but if this is the end of the franchise, it feels like one. (Honestly, I can't say I don't want there to be another sequel, because I'm a Transformer fan for the toys, and the DOTM toys so far have been fantastic. So long as there's more movies, there'll be more robots to buy!)


THE MUSIC
I didn't even notice it.


THE PRODUCT PLACEMENT
Lots and lots and lots.


THE TITLE
'Dark Of The Moon' still sounds clunky and dumb, but it turns out it's actually been the name of a play and a few novels. So I won't rag on them for that. But I will rag on them for plagiarism. ;)


MINOR THINGS
There's a scene where Laserbeak straight-up murders an entire family. And it's very well directed. It uses restraint and is genuinely horrifying. Color me surprised. There's other parts that actually show the suffering and collateral damage of the big giant robot battles. So there's some thought given to consequences here. On the other hand, there's also a bit where Ironhide hurls a truck into a store with no idea if anyone's inside. :/

There's a scene with the sexiest car I have ever seen. Normally I hate when Michael Bay lingers pornographically over hardware, but this car deserved it.

There were parts where things that hadn't made sense earlier were given later explanations that made sense. Gooood Michael Bay; you get a biscuit.

There's a scene near the beginning where some Autobots attack a desert nuclear base. It's not explained why, it's not clear what the outcome is and it seems like it's only in the movie to provide neat-looking trailer shots.

There's a scene where John Maklovich trys to coax Bumblebee into a fistfight. It is massively awkward. There's a scene with Alan Tudyk and some guns in a bar. It is pretty cool. There's a scene in the comics adaptation where Megatron shoots an elephant in the face just for getting in his way I really fucking wish that had been in the film. There's also a scene in the comic where Skids and Mudflap are burned to death with acid. THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE FILM, BAY! YOU OWED IT TO US!


IN CONCLUSION
Like I said, it feels like Michael Bay got put on a leash for this one. And... the movie sometimes feels hollow because of it. I *HATED* the first two movies, but at least I had a strong emotional response to them. With this one, my friend and I both walked out of it saying, "It was pretty good." But just pretty good. And that's kind of disappointing.

I usually prefer an earnest trainwreck of a movie to something that's okay with being mediocre. I'm glad that this movie didn't feel as bloated as ROTF, yet scenes that were epic in scale here curiously didn't feel as epic as similar scenes in the last two.

It feels like, when they neutered Bay's offensiveness, they dulled his passion too.

Let's be honest: the first two movies were clearly made by someone who LOVED what he was doing. They were awful, but they were that breed of Ed Wood awfulness: "Screw what anyone else says! I'm making this movie MY WAY!!!" And I hate that about Bay. Yet I find myself missing it when it's not there. It feels weird.

I could talk about Revenge Of The Fallen for eternity. As much of a stinking shithole as it was, it was unignorable. Dark Of The Moon is just another semi-competent, semi-broken action blockbuster. It's not an event. And that's a little sad.

I dunno whether to give it two-and-a-half or three stars. But I do know I'd much rather watch films that get either five stars or zero.

On the other hand, Megatron blowing up a national monument just to make a throne for himself was very in-character and quite badass. That's the kind of thing I wish there'd been more of.





BTW, no idea if this will still work or not, but you might want to check it out: Alex Reynard's Condensed Revenge Of The Fallen torrent It's inevitable I'll do one for DOTM too when it comes out on DVD.

Viewed: 181 times
Added: 7 years, 5 months ago
 
Matrixbeast
7 years, 5 months ago
The movie was much better than I thought.
And Laserbeak was everywhere o.o
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
I did think that Laserbeak transforming into several different things (a pink Bumblebee!?) was a very interesting touch. Though why only he seemed to have that ability, who knows?
ScottyKat
7 years, 5 months ago
o.o its not shit?.... Does not compute. XD
heh its better then i expeced  from what you say.
i expected a giant shit pile. Guess i'll has to see it....
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
Instead of a giant shitpile, it's like a large pizza with a turd on one of the slices. You can eat around the turd, but you're always aware of its presence.

...that was one of the oddest similes I've ever made.
ScottyKat
7 years, 5 months ago
and quite effective and funny
Shokuji
7 years, 5 months ago
" THE MUSIC
I didn't even notice it.
And the music director breaks out in tears. X3

" *THAT GUY IN THE MAILROOM: He only has half-a-minute of screentime. He uses all of it to be an annoying fuck and make me hate him.
Made me laugh. XD
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
You know what movie had a really excellent score though? Hanna. It was done by The Chemical Brothers. Very electronica. A weird choice for this kind of movie, yet it fit perfectly.
Shokuji
7 years, 5 months ago
Thanks for the suggestion. =3
Cascadiarch
7 years, 5 months ago
I'm glad you finally got to see a halfway not-horribly-godawful Transformers film!
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
Me too. Though I still mourn the possibilities of what could have been. Maybe if they do a fourth film they'll reboot the franchise and have someone else direct. JJ Abrams, Jon Favreau, Sam Raimi, Robert Rodriguez...
Relee
7 years, 5 months ago
People often say that Leonard Nimoy refused to be in one of the Star Trek movies because it was written so terribly. Maybe he's mellowed out since then, or maybe Dark of the Moon was improved specifically for his sake. XD
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
I imagine he chose to do this one on a lark. Like, "You want me to voice a big fighting robot? Yeah, why the hell not?" Plus, if he's got grandkids, you just know he did it to make them happy. :)
Alfador
7 years, 5 months ago
> Also, they actually have him say a Spock quote. It's pointless and made me groan in pain.

Now I'm picturing either a) revolving a whole subplot around a ship full of humans being menaced by Decepticons just so he could say "The ship... out of danger?" or b) just having an eyebrow raise with a metallic grind and say "Fascinating."

> QUE: EEEYAH!!! God, his head looks freaky! Like a skinned skull!! He's an Einsteinlike pacifist inventor

...so basically a COMPLETE rip of Q from James Bond, then.

> This movie's Dispensor

I wonder how many of the set crew joked among themselves, "Poot Dispensor heer!"?

> You'll know it when you see it. It's BIG. There is no fucking way it could happen without cataclysmically screwing up Earth's gravity and probably killing everything on Earth.

Oh, lemme guess based on the title of the movie and the fact that it's already been done in "The Tick" and "The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask". They try to crash the moon into the Earth, and the heroes push it back just in the nick of time. Bruce Almighty, of all things, got it right: omnipotent Bruce had no idea of the havoc he was going to wreak by fucking around with the moon's orbit just to get into a lady's pants.

> THE MUSIC I didn't even notice it.

What, no Pink Floyd? Shoulda been the obvious choice... ;)
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
>Now I'm picturing either a) revolving a whole subplot around a ship full of humans being menaced by Decepticons just so he could say "The ship... out of danger?" or b) just having an eyebrow raise with a metallic grind and say "Fascinating."

Actually, it's "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." Admittedly, the context puts it in an interesting new light. Though having it in at all just calls needless attention to the fact that it's Nimoy.

>...so basically a COMPLETE rip of Q from James Bond, then.

Exactly. I'm glad they changed his name from Wheeljack, so at least it's accurate.

>I wonder how many of the set crew joked among themselves, "Poot Dispensor heer!"?

Now I wanna see TF2 characters running from a berserk Mountain Dew machine.

"WAS WRONG KIND OF DISPENSER!!!"
"It just shot a can through my freakin' ribcage!!"

>They try to crash the moon into the Earth, and the heroes push it back just in the nick of time.

That's really close but not quite. Same effect though.

>What, no Pink Floyd? Shoulda been the obvious choice... ;)

Pink Floyd was referenced briefly. Actually, the soundtrack had some U2 and Linkin Park stuff that was lukewarm and irritating.
Alfador
7 years, 5 months ago
" AlexReynard wrote:
>Now I'm picturing either a) revolving a whole subplot around a ship full of humans being menaced by Decepticons just so he could say "The ship... out of danger?" or b) just having an eyebrow raise with a metallic grind and say "Fascinating."

Actually, it's "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." Admittedly, the context puts it in an interesting new light. Though having it in at all just calls needless attention to the fact that it's Nimoy.


Somehow that just makes me want to headdesk. Or it could just be the sinus headache I'm currently suffering from until the Ibuprofen and decongestants kick in. I'm going to have INTERESTING dreams tonight...

" AlexReynard wrote:
>...so basically a COMPLETE rip of Q from James Bond, then.

Exactly. I'm glad they changed his name from Wheeljack, so at least it's accurate.


XD

" AlexReynard wrote:
>I wonder how many of the set crew joked among themselves, "Poot Dispensor heer!"?

Now I wanna see TF2 characters running from a berserk Mountain Dew machine.

"WAS WRONG KIND OF DISPENSER!!!"
"It just shot a can through my freakin' ribcage!!"


BAHAHAHAHA! As for wrong kinds of dispensers, I do recall that one of the vocal blurbs the Heavy can say when he hears an enemy Engineer building a dispenser is "I hear someone building diaper changing station!" With all his references to the other team being all babies, you have to wonder if he isn't a closet AB/DL or babyfur or something... >:3 But that's probably just me imagining cubs everywhere.

Of course somewhere someone's probably modded TF2 with alternate skins that put entire team as babies.

" AlexReynard wrote:
>They try to crash the moon into the Earth, and the heroes push it back just in the nick of time.

That's really close but not quite. Same effect though.


I just watched Ponyo for the first time today. Substitute "nature being out of balance" for "villain" and "test of love" for "heroic action" and there you go. ;)

" AlexReynard wrote:
>What, no Pink Floyd? Shoulda been the obvious choice... ;)

Pink Floyd was referenced briefly. Actually, the soundtrack had some U2 and Linkin Park stuff that was lukewarm and irritating.


*nod* Probably there's no way they could make a title like that and NOT have some reference to Pink Floyd.
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
>Somehow that just makes me want to headdesk. Or it could just be the sinus headache I'm currently suffering from until the Ibuprofen and decongestants kick in. I'm going to have INTERESTING dreams tonight...

Woo, I've been there. Ever been on Vicodin though? Try some if you ever get the chance. Most enjoyable sleep I have ever had. I couldn't wait to go to bed every night! ;)

>With all his references to the other team being all babies, you have to wonder if he isn't a closet AB/DL or babyfur or something... >:3 But that's probably just me imagining cubs everywhere.

"WAAAAH! WAAAAAAH!" (You know; that bit with the Heavy fake-crying)

>*nod* Probably there's no way they could make a title like that and NOT have some reference to Pink Floyd.

None on the soundtrack though, of course. That might class up the joint. And heaven knows we can't have that.
Alfador
7 years, 5 months ago
" AlexReynard wrote:
>Somehow that just makes me want to headdesk. Or it could just be the sinus headache I'm currently suffering from until the Ibuprofen and decongestants kick in. I'm going to have INTERESTING dreams tonight...

Woo, I've been there. Ever been on Vicodin though? Try some if you ever get the chance. Most enjoyable sleep I have ever had. I couldn't wait to go to bed every night! ;)


Might try that. I think I remember something about it being addictive though. *shrug* If it comes up, I'll deal with it, one way or the other. Heck, I'm positive I'm physically addicted to caffeine, as when I stop drinking it for a while I get headaches. Kind of ironic that I'm physically addicted to caffeine, but not psychologically, since most of the time when I don't have it it's just because I stopped drinking soda for a while... whereas I'm definitely psychologically addicted to WoW, but when I take breaks from that it causes no physical withdrawal symptoms so I'm not physically addicted to it. @_@ Guess that's the difference between an unwanted chemical addiction and a desired informational addiction.

" AlexReynard wrote:
>With all his references to the other team being all babies, you have to wonder if he isn't a closet AB/DL or babyfur or something... >:3 But that's probably just me imagining cubs everywhere.

"WAAAAH! WAAAAAAH!" (You know; that bit with the Heavy fake-crying)


Tee hee. :3

" AlexReynard wrote:
>*nod* Probably there's no way they could make a title like that and NOT have some reference to Pink Floyd.

None on the soundtrack though, of course. That might class up the joint. And heaven knows we can't have that.


*eyerollllllll*
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
>Might try that. I think I remember something about it being addictive though. *shrug*

It can be, but I'm lucky in the fact that I seem to have less of a reaction to most drugs than other people. In general, the stuff I've taken that has worked doesn't have a really dramatic effect, and most of it doesn't even give me side effects.

>Guess that's the difference between an unwanted chemical addiction and a desired informational addiction.

I sometimes wonder if I'm addicted to anything, like the interent or Transformer collecting. I try to occasionally compare my behavior to lists of symptoms of addiction. For the most part, the reason I continue with both is not because I can't stop, but because I see no reason to.
Alfador
7 years, 5 months ago
" AlexReynard wrote:
>Might try that. I think I remember something about it being addictive though. *shrug*

It can be, but I'm lucky in the fact that I seem to have less of a reaction to most drugs than other people. In general, the stuff I've taken that has worked doesn't have a really dramatic effect, and most of it doesn't even give me side effects.


Wow, we're in the same boat--headache painkillers and over-the-counter remedies for childhood maladies have always taken a long time to affect me, and the effects of caffeine and the other stimulants in energy drinks tend to be weak in the "keep me awake and alert" part, at least in so far as never working as long as advertised, but while they are in effect tend to make me really wired. It's annoying to Zephie when we're gaming at Tacki and Kiffin's, because I sit right next to him and my legs are jumping a mile a minute, distracting him.

Oh, and just because they don't keep me awake doesn't mean they can't keep me from falling asleep. :P I've been in bed after too much caffeine, slipping in and out of a sort of half-sleep... and also the same at the office a couple years ago. With similar usefulness either way--unable to properly do anything, unable to properly sleep.

And so I wouldn't have to depend on super-drowsy Benadryl during the daytime, I finally got some Sudafed-store-brand-knockoff. Correct dose, supposed to take it only every four to six hours, lasts for about three. :P And whenever I take Benadryl before bedtime, I go to bed nice and easily, breathing well, but by the time I wake up, the antihistamine part has worn off but the drowsy part hasn't. >.<

" AlexReynard wrote:
>Guess that's the difference between an unwanted chemical addiction and a desired informational addiction.

I sometimes wonder if I'm addicted to anything, like the internet or Transformer collecting. I try to occasionally compare my behavior to lists of symptoms of addiction. For the most part, the reason I continue with both is not because I can't stop, but because I see no reason to.


I really should try to put an end to my caffeine addiction, because there's a very good reason to do so: by resetting my body's tolerances for caffeine, I can get a better effect out of it when I NEED it to stay alert, rather than drinking enough soda/Rockstar to get me jumpy and fidgety just to stay awake.

But so far, the only excuse anybody has ever had to try to make me quit playing video games in general, or any specific video game (such as WoW) have been that "you're addicted so you have to stop!" If pressed for a way in which it has honestly negatively affected my life, they might point out that I'm not spending enough time on my job search each week.

News flash: if I had absolutely no video games at all in my life, I would STILL not be spending enough time on my job search each week. Because it is BORING, it is HUMILIATING, and 99% of the work shows ABSOLUTELY NO BENEFIT.

WoW is fun and engaging, it is largely anonymous, and 99% of the work shows immediate benefit. You can see why I make the choices I do. :P
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
On the caffeine thing, all I can say is that there's a reason I avoid energy drinks. They kinda scare me. I've only had one noticeable negative reaction to caffeine in my whole memory and I'd prefer that not change.

P.S. I drank a whole Iced Cappuccino at Tim Horton's, then replied to an email and found myself typing a bunch of inane, pointless gobbledygook.

>WoW is fun and engaging, it is largely anonymous, and 99% of the work shows immediate benefit. You can see why I make the choices I do. :P

When you put it that way, yes. I can definitely see the attractiveness in a world where consequences are predictable.
CanisRufus
7 years, 5 months ago
Well it's not the first time Nimoy has been a transformer, he was Galvatron in the Original (proper? :P) movie back in 1986... but yeah, no need to drag attention to it.
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
Exactly. They didn't have Unicron say "Rosebud" in the first one either. ;)
makogrey
7 years, 5 months ago
I was happy with it and I hated the 2nd one. I just pretend ROTF didn't happen
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
Actually, now that I think about it, not much happened in ROTF that made much of a difference to anything. They resurrected Megatron, true, but this movie could have pulled a 'not really dead' and got around that.

If I am glad ROTF exists, it's because of Ravage and Sideswipe. And the toys, naturally.
PlatinumPen
7 years, 5 months ago
Personally I think the first live action Street Fighters was the worst movie ever (*keep in mind I have yet to see the live action Dragonball movie and I'm avoiding like the plague) I mean I was (and still am) a big fan of Street Fighter at the time, I had watched the animes played the games even had a Street Fighter RPG made by White Wolf Games. I thought it would be good or at least tolerable. I was wrong, I kept watching saying "This has to get better doesn't it?". It didn't the one thing that pissed me off the most was M. Bison, they made him look weak and frail and to explain his signature move the Psycho Crusher with magnets, same on you all. The ONLY interesting moment in the movie lasted 3 seconds and was Van Damme doing Guile's Flash Kick naturally.
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
>Personally I think the first live action Street Fighters was the worst movie ever

Awww, it was terrible but I kinda liked it. Though admittedly, I know nothing of the game. All I know was that every line Raul Julia delivered as Bison was pure gold. I love the part where Chun Li angrily tells him about how he destroyed her village and murdered her father, and then he says this. That is the best supervillain comeback I think I've ever seen.

I consider Bad Boys 2 the worst movie ever not because it's a badly-made film. It is, but that's secondary. It's full of inaccuracies, it's incompetently written and directed, it's boring and stupid, but all of that I could forgive. I think it's the most offensive movie I have ever watched, in every sense of that word. I felt dirty after watching it. The scene with Will Smith repeatedly calling a terrified 15 year old kid a nigger just made me sick to my soul.
skunktronix
7 years, 5 months ago
I must say, the title of this journal reminded me of a naming pattern that has been used in Harry Potter movies/books...

"Harry Potter and the _____ of _____"
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
Optimus Potter And The Cube Of MacGuffin
Optimus Potter And The Shard Of The Cube Of MacGuffin
Optimus Potter And The Lost Moon Pillars

(Yes, DOTM revolves around the robots chasing pillars. Moon pillars.)
Mogura
7 years, 5 months ago
i wait for a wreck gar... i mean weard all jakovo have to make it to cinema...

he spoke wrek gar in teh english version of teh Transformers cartoonmovie in the 90's also he spoke him as he was teh garbage truck version in Transformers animatet.
and somehow i havent seen teh new one yet, i still think the Old move with cup, hotrod, and unicron was the best. i mean hello? unicron was a freaing robot who transform in a fucking planetmuchning deathstar! and for shockwave, somehow not talking is better then giving a mix of an france spain dialect and one single line in a damn movie...


if micheal bay and Uwe Boll make a Movie together... Cinema oficialy DIED for me just to say it simple
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
>i mean hello? unicron was a freaing robot who transform in a fucking planetmuchning deathstar!

Michael Bay says he's wanted to put Unicron in one of the movies, but knowing him, Unicron would probably turn into something not-a-planet.

>and for shockwave, somehow not talking is better then giving a mix of an france spain dialect and one single line in a damn movie...

I think I have to disagree. Shockwave's supposed to be brilliant, so giving him no voice and no role beyond controlling a giant worm seems like character betrayal.

>if micheal bay and Uwe Boll make a Movie together... Cinema oficialy DIED for me just to say it simple

Actually... I think I'd like to see that. It would be the most epic badness ever.
climon
7 years, 5 months ago
I thought it was ok. You are right, it was Gen One Megatron attitude when he blew up Lincoln to sit in his chair. Haha, but really, for me, I lost intrest after 45 min and became enthralled in my popcorn being burned a little. Humm..................
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
> but really, for me, I lost intrest after 45 min and became enthralled in my popcorn being burned a little. Humm...

ROTF had that same effect on me. The big desert fight just seemed freakin' endless.
Shuyo
7 years, 5 months ago
Just reading this is making me giggle.

Also, how was Super 8? The impression I got from the trailer was "Cloverfield 2.0, now with Lens Flare!"
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
>Just reading this is making me giggle.

Yay! It's a fine line between entertainingly angry and nitpicky and annoyingly angry and nitpicky. ;)

>Also, how was Super 8? The impression I got from the trailer was "Cloverfield 2.0, now with Lens Flare!"

Not at all! The sci-fi plot in Super 8 was really secondary. It was really about the character development of this bunch of kids making a movie who end up getting pulled into this whole alien mess. It's similar to ET in a lot of ways. For more of my thoughts on it, go here and skip ahead to 45:00.
ColeSutra
7 years, 5 months ago
There were already spoilers in the journal, but I'll be polite to people trying to avoid them:  SPOILERS AHEAD.

Just gonna touch on one thing:  Skids and Mudflap's presence in the movie.  They ARE indeed in it.  During the scene where the autobots are all rolling into their hanger for the first time in a big (and classic, I might add) convoy, they're at the very end of the line-up.  They only have two seconds of screen-time, tops.  ...two seconds that coulda been used to toss them into a smelting pool *grumble grumble*  I don't care about the $25,000 Bay!  Just give me my two seconds back!  ....on second thought, two seconds is worth 25 grand.  Toss in an extra fifty cents and I'll forget about how shutting down the space bridge mid-warp would have effectively sliced a third of Cybertron off of the rest of the planet.

Actually, I'm gonna toss out a dissenting opinion too.  Ironhide's death was just as bad as Jazz's..worse even.  Jazz at least got two seconds of mourning.  Ironhide has a glamour-death-scene, and a few in-the-moment reactions from other characters present..  But those were likely more "Did Sentinel just do that?!  OH-SHIT-OH-FUCK-OH-BOLLOCKS!!"  ....and then nothing.  His death is never actually acknowledged.  It's a two and a half frickin' hour long movie!  They couldn't squeeze in a ten second exchange of Optimus being old what happened to his long time friend and confidant, and who did it?

Also, the "Tom Cruise War of the Worlds remake death ray" deaths whenever a decepticon shot a human were kinda lame.  I can understand -why- they did it..can't have giblets flying all over the place, plastering every nearby surface in pulpy red and char-blacked mist-n-chunks..  But going POOF! with bits of fluttering torn clothing?  C'mon..the people going ragdoll would have been more effective, still had lots of impact, and kept the movie below an R rating.

And really?  Carly bitching out Megatron?  And he doesn't cave her chest in with a single flick of his finger?  Doesn't pinch her skull between thumb and fore-digit?  Doesn't even non-fatally swat her away like a gnat?  It made him come off REALLY weak..like a growling chihuahua.

But totally agree on the Laserbeak-meets-the-family scene.  That stunned me in all the right ways.
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
>During the scene where the autobots are all rolling into their hanger for the first time in a big (and classic, I might add) convoy, they're at the very end of the line-up.

HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! Gawd, I hope someone actually takes Bay to court over that $25,000 promise. They'll never win, but I'd love to see someone make him sweat for a bit. ;)

>His death is never actually acknowledged.

<thinks> You know, that's a very valid point.

On a related note, I went to Burger King for dinner and they have DOTM toys and I got an adorable big-headed Ironhide. And he has a laser in his chest too! Wheeee!

>Also, the "Tom Cruise War of the Worlds remake death ray" deaths whenever a decepticon shot a human were kinda lame.

I only noticed that once, actually. and I thought it was kinda ballsy of them to show a human skull go flying.

>Doesn't even non-fatally swat her away like a gnat?  It made him come off REALLY weak..like a growling chihuahua.

All I can say is that, if I were Megatron, I would have respected the sheer nerve of a puny human daring to say such things. Still, yeah, it would have been nice for him to give a short bark of a laugh and say something like, "Your fearlessness is amusing to me," then swat her. (But Bay mustn't do anything to dirty her clothes!)

>But totally agree on the Laserbeak-meets-the-family scene.  That stunned me in all the right ways.

Still, imagine that Ravage had survived ROTF and it had been him in that scene. That would have been high-octane nightmare fuel.
ColeSutra
7 years, 5 months ago
There were also at least four separate times that I can think of off the top of my memory that by all rights, Sam should have been either reduced to minced meat, or should have lost a limb:

His struggle with Laserbeak on the Decepticon patrol ship.  The bird's pretty much made out of razor blades..more-so than your average Bayformer.

Starscream slinging him around at the end of that grapple-line glove.  One errant swing into one of Screamer's legs, torso, or surrounding debris would have torn him to pieces.  At the very least, his arm should have been dislocated at the wrist, elbow, and shoulder..

And then when Bee ejects him from his car-mode as he transforms to bot mode, leaps through the air, then transforms back around Sam into car mode again...  As neat as it was, Bee's inner workings would have turned him into ground peopleburger.

On the note of dearly departed Ironhide..I did rather like that they sorta mimicked his death from the real Transformer movie..even though that death was part of the blatant cast-clear-out they pulled.  Also: if you collect the figures, unless you're deadset on getting it, or have $50 of disposable income...pass on the leader-class Ironhide.  The gimmicks they pack into him make him a painfully bad Leader-class figure.  Dismal transformation and poor pose-ability abound.  Do get a deluxe version of him if you don't already have one, they capture the character REALLY well with the bulky proportions.  The DotM voyager Ironhide is also pretty nice, it's better than the previous mold/re-molds of Bayformers Ironhide.
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
>Starscream slinging him around at the end of that grapple-line glove.

Yes. Very. I was absolutely thinking the exact same thing during that scene.

>As neat as it was, Bee's inner workings would have turned him into ground peopleburger.

Hmmm. Maybe not. It's shown they can transform in different ways, and if Bee can partially transform mid-drive in order to pop out weapons (a gimmick I wish the movie had done more with), I can deal with the idea that he'd have figured out how to transform around Sam for just such an occasion.

>Also: if you collect the figures,

<stifled giggle> If I collect the figures. IF! He actually said IF!! <uncontrolled braying laughter> My dear boy! My collection weighs more than I do!!

>The gimmicks they pack into him make him a painfully bad Leader-class figure.

Actually, I did like the gimmicks that I saw (in a review video), but thought the transformation was over-simple because of them. If I'm buying a Leader, I expect their transformation to take about twenty minutes.

>Do get a deluxe version of him if you don't already have one

There's that 'if' again. ;)

>The DotM voyager Ironhide is also pretty nice

Voy Irony has become one of my favorite toys of the whole DOTM line, even moreso than Shockwave and Megatron. I just fucking love his transformation so much. Plus, I know he's not perfectly screen-accurate, but I like how he looks.

Also, one part of mine broke, and I was having none of that, so I ended up buying him twice. The advantage of this? I was able to swap out a few ball-jointed parts, and also TWO GODDAM HUGE FOREARM GUNS. Glee. ^__^
KevinSnowpaw
7 years, 5 months ago
I actually remember this film. the other movies are kinda fuzzy...something about a plot...and evil robots...I cant remember there was just so many explosions.
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
A perfectly understandable reaction. I just happen to have a mind that's superpowered at remembering movie details.
KevinSnowpaw
7 years, 5 months ago
Oh I can quote mass amounts of dialog from every movie I have ever seen that was even remotely interesting to me. Just Micheal Bay Films tend to be explosions, explosions, some plot explaining the explosions, annoying female character MORE EXPLOSIONS!

Credit roll, Merchandise, Profit!
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
HA! Very accurate. Revenge Of The Fallen especially, was a very numbing movie.
KevinSnowpaw
7 years, 5 months ago
What can I say? if Bay can do it so can we. All we need is something that might make a cool toy, a pretty girl and a male protagonist to be a distraction so we can pretend theirs a plot, and a wheel barrel full of TNT.
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
AIRWOLF: THE MOVIE

Hey, it could happen!
KevinSnowpaw
7 years, 5 months ago
We can make it happen! We have the...on second thought lets just play video games and work on world piece.
Feere
7 years, 5 months ago
Bad Boys 2? That's not how you spell Gigli.
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
I haven't seen Gigli yet. Although I highly doubt it could possibly affect me the same way as Bad Boys 2. That film was so morally ugly that watching it was like having my whole body covered in that taste in your mouth you get after you vomit.
Feere
7 years, 5 months ago
Gritty teeth included?
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
Feere
7 years, 5 months ago
Okay, I got a quarter of a way into your review and just had to quit.
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
You mean you didn't get to the part with the "bigass dead titties"?
Feere
7 years, 5 months ago
The last thing I remember is something about a car chase where someone said "At least no cops were killed." I read a little bit more after that if my memory is to be believed.
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
I can see how that would break your brain. I mean, you SEE cops being killed, and situations where no one in that cop car could have possibly survived, but they make everything magically okay by saying that no cops died. Apparently angels swooped in and resurrected them afterwards. :/
Feere
7 years, 5 months ago
I don't give a damn about cops, I was focused on the uncaring attitude toward civilian casualties.
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
Good point! That puts that comment in a completely different light: "Thank goodness no cops were killed! Seventy civilians bit the big one, but who gives a fuck about those assholes? Ha ha ha! Got anymore donuts?"
Rakaziel
7 years, 5 months ago
I think the difference is that in the first two movies they let Bay run riot as he wished and now that they have given him stern words about the riot he no longer feels like running or is too busy watching is steps. And the new plot is not good enough on it's own to make up for the emotions not really picking up speed as Bay loses momentum.

"Your meal is no longer spiced up with expired rat poison (well, not that much) but the cook liked the old recipe better."

Hey, with some luck we get a reboot in some years with another director, and maybe even a focus on the robots.
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
>And the new plot is not good enough on it's own to make up for the emotions not really picking up speed as Bay loses momentum.

I dunno; I thought this was this was the first film to actually have a plot. The first film is nothing but introductions and a battle sequence, the second one is a haphazard mess, and the third one actually has a story I could summarize in a paragraph.

>Hey, with some luck we get a reboot in some years with another director, and maybe even a focus on the robots.

Considering how much Hollywood loves its reboots, I think this is definitely a possibility. Here's hoping!
ZephonTsol
7 years, 5 months ago
Bad Boys 2? Bad? How could it be bad?

Oh wait, Martin Lawrence is in it. Never mind.

I'm glad you watched this movie on Inkbunny's behalf, Alex. Saves us the $87 to go see it ourselves since ticket sales are astronomical right now. I'm also picking up on things from your avoidance of spoilers and reading other comments to get the basic gist of what went on and...well, it does sound like a functional story. Much more so than ROTF ever could've hoped to be. As well, I'm not sure I mind the avoidance of grisliness with killing humans because it just...came off so gruesome when Bay did it to the Transformers in the last two films. Fallen and Megatron immediately spring to mind on just how icky it can be.

Speaking of icky, why did Bay not learn about Sam's parents and how they should never ever ever EVER be given screen time? Again? From anyone? Seriously, those two actors are so wooden and stale and typecast, they should hang it up and go do voicework because urgh...

But I do have to mention something about music in films. If you've forgotten the music already, then the soundtrack and it's writer/director have not done their jobs at all. Music is there to enhance and support, but should be still auditorily 'visual' enough to pick up on. If it's not doing anything to help, then it's not being visual. X-Men First Class did this magnificently with a lot of its tracks (Sub Lift, anyone?) when the music had the forefront, but the background stuff came off as very well done too. If you need more subtle in your movie music, consider this: the main soundtrack from Inception is actually based closely off the opera mp3 they play to signal waking up. However, the musical producers slowed it WAAAY down because when it really comes to the forefront is in the climax and they're stupendously deep in their dreaming and everything's (you guessed it) slowed waaay down. Here's the youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVkQ0C4qDvM

Also, if you think Dark of the Moon still isn't a good title, try Spiderman: Turn Off The Dark, the broadway musical done by (not kidding here) U2. Just think about that for a second. How exactly does one turn something off that is already off? I've found some tracks from that show and had a listen and, as you said, U2 is very lame and irritating and the whole show is just bland so it's not surprising that the U2/Linkin Park stuff would be bland either. Both of those bands have had their glory days and need to move on and stop producing under their label.

In any case, Happy 4th. Go blow something up. :3
AlexReynard
7 years, 5 months ago
>Oh wait, Martin Lawrence is in it. Never mind.

An hour or so in, I realized that Martin Lawrence's character was showing far more restraint, common sense and actual acting chops than Will Smith's. And then I heard the tearing sound of the universe inverting itself...

>well, it does sound like a functional story. Much more so than ROTF ever could've hoped to be.

Yes; I should have given them credit for that. When I stop to think about it, despite having seen DOTM once, and Transformers and ROTF twice each, I could not outline the plot of the first two films without some serious, serious effort. Whereas with DOTM, I can fairly easily recall how each event led to the next to form a linear narrative. This is nothing to celebrate, but for a Bay film it's pretty monumental.

>As well, I'm not sure I mind the avoidance of grisliness with killing humans because it just...came off so gruesome when Bay did it to the Transformers in the last two films. Fallen and Megatron immediately spring to mind on just how icky it can be.

Someone's head gets ripped off in this film and there is a fountain of red arterial spray. ...FROM A GODDAM ROBOT.

>they should hang it up and go do voicework because urgh...

I vote Siberian gulag.

>If you've forgotten the music already, then the soundtrack and it's writer/director have not done their jobs at all.

Now that I think about it, the music followed the same pattern of everything else. The first movie's music felt awkward in a lot of places; the second one's music just felt blaring, and this film's music fit the scenes, but didn't do any more than that. It felt about right for whatever was happening, but was never anything more than average. (This is just the score, mind you. The actual songs were all cheesey shit.)

>the main soundtrack from Inception is actually based closely off the opera mp3 they play to signal waking up.

Yes!! I found that out from TVTropes a few weeks ago. Blew my damn mind. That's why I love that movie so much; they put so much thought and effort into it that there's brilliant things in it that you'd never even realize without the internet.

>try Spiderman: Turn Off The Dark

Yep. someone else already titled a review Transformers: Turn Off The Dark. And it's weird how much the two things parallel each other. Grossly-huge budgets, horrific injuries to stuntpeople, and they've both attracted tons of attention while the reviews are mediocre at best.

>In any case, Happy 4th. Go blow something up. :3

I shall! This morning I walked down to the little fireworks tent that gets set up beside Jim's Frostie Treats every year. I got a small bag of modest boom-booms. One's shaped like a robot and two of them have odd little big-headed anime girls on them.
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