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Journal June 2011: regarding recent events

Well I got home from work, luckly things have been calming down on that department, I managed to get out earlier, I looked through my emails and found this one...it's very interesting...

"To Aval0n or WRz or whatever

   I think you are an idiot and a liar.  Someone in Paws.ru noted some discrepancies in your story, of what you really do in real life, and I think he's right.  He noted that you once said that you moved in with your parents, since while you where living with your brother, things went downhill, if you're living in your parents basement, why do you pay the house's bills?  It clearly means you're lying about paying over $100 a month for a crappy internet connection.  I also think the lie you tell about your job is also huge since your parents pay for your expenses and you don't have to work, you just say you have a 12 hour job to make people feel sorry for you.  at $7 an hour that's $420 a week, and aprox. $1680 a month, so why are you complaining about a $100 internet bill?  sounds to me like you're lying.  Also your incredible bad luck, you accounts getting hacked, your brother being fired from "his" work for that? your house being hit by lightning causing you to rewire your house and loose your computer? that car accident you had? why don't you tell everyone you're just a big liar and that you lost interest in this game a long time ago."

*sigh* where do I begin...

I can't specify for whom I work for (for my own personal safety) I have received death threats and I'm trying to keep a low profile when talking about where I live and where I work.

I work for an information company, I can't say what they do or what my specific position within the company is... ( again for my personal safety)

I'm not forced to work 12 hours a day, however that is the maximum amount of time I can spend "at work" which a while back was enough to keep me afloat.

The thing about living with my parents was temporary, I went over to my parents in the UK, from the month December, last year, to February of this year.  Afterwards my brother and I got money from our dad to head back to our house in Bermuda (to pay the rent and utility bills which had been stacking up).  My father is a very wealthy man, but my brother and I are making a life for ourselves and don't want to depend on our parents money to make a living.  I did have a car accident, and broke my arm and hurt my hand you'll notice a brown spot in my right hand thumb if you look at the livestreams, that's one of the puncture wounds I had in the crash.  My house in Bermuda DID get struck by lighting and that did cause the house's electric lines to burn out, we had to do a rewiring of the house, basically take out the fuse box and lines and set them up all over again.  I did loose my desktop computer, hence why I work on a laptop now.  

I had to lower the amount of hours that I spend working due to the fact that my stress levels where increasing and even my boss got concerned.  hence now my work schedule about a month back has been

get to work (I have the liberty to choose whether I show up at 6:30am or at 9:00am

I get a lunchbreak from 12:00pm - 1:30pm

I work from 1:30pm to 4:00pm - 7:00pm depending on the hour that I got to work in the morning

I get paid 6.50BMD an hour that's under the American minimum wage

I'm not going to do the math, but since some people are so fucking smart to look for ways to hurt you by using math, well you guys do the math.

why do I pay about 100US for internet... because it's the cheapest

these are the prices for internet on Bermuda

4 Mbps, per month

Cable & Wireless: $99.95;
TBI: $79.95;
Logic: $99.95
North Rock: $99.95
6 Mbps, per month

Cable and Wireless: $129.95
TBI: $99.95
North Rock: $119.95
Logic: $119.95
FKB Transact: $128.95
8 Mbps, per month

TBI; $119.95
Logic: $129.95
North Rock: $129.95
FKB Transact: $128.95

don't believe me here, they even appear in an official government page, so that retarded american morons who say I'm lying can shut they bloody fucking asses


what do I do with the money I earn from work, and the donations I get
I pay
50% of the house's electricity bill
50% of the house's water bill
25% of the television bill ( I don't watch too much TV so my brother pays more)
50% of the groceries ( there's 3 of us living in this house, me, my brother and his girlfriend)
the house's rent is being split 35% me 35% my brother, the rest is covered by my father
I also have to pay for a cellphone (a crappy one at that)
there's also miscellaneous expenses every now and then.

I'm constantly being barraged with "hate" mail saying that I over inflate normal things that make life hard just to make my fan's feel sorry for me.

my intention is not to make people feel sorry of me, I decide to tell them how I'm doing and get accused of lying about it.  That's not fair...

It's not fair that I'm doing a game for free, and still get all this bullcrap.

oh and let me say this preemptively, replying and letting your fans know how you feel, is not letting the trolls win, It's just trying to get the truth said, Trolling is meant to make fun of people, NOT intentionally hurt them...but then again, that's just my way of seeing things.
I wanna continue, but It's getting close to streaming time and I DO intend to Stream today

that is all

thank you for reading and thank you for all your support
Aval0nX - WRz
Viewed: 2,341 times
Added: 7 years, 10 months ago
7 years, 10 months ago
Keep up the good work man!

I know exactly what you mean by the bill paying thing.

It's kind of personal when people start asking you where money goes.

Seriously? I don't believe a single one of the people trolling or sending you hate mail even have jobs, and if they do, they sure as hell aren't paying bills.

Even at the CHEAPEST possible level where I live, $800 a month is the bare MINIMUM. Seriously, if you aren't making $800 or you don't have some kind of special situation, you're nearly dead.

I tried to defend the point that you live in a different country, but the people in America (I'm on of them, believe me), don't understand what exactly that entails. Things cost different, and that doesn't necessarily mean things are cheaper.

As I said though, keep up the good work, and as I can see by your submissions, we all have something good to look forward to!
7 years, 10 months ago
Trolls don't mean to make fun of people.  They're sadists and bullies too cowardly to try their bullying on people they know personally.
7 years, 10 months ago
This quote comes to mind
" Belgicia Howell wrote:
Never explain yourself.
Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it.

*hugs* =)
7 years, 10 months ago
That is a lovely quote.  Agreed!
7 years, 10 months ago
Oh jeez.... You've been getting Death Threats? Damn! What is wrong with people nowadays? That's just... Not right... Death Threats for working on this or for real life stuff? *shrugs* None of my business I guess. You just keep doing what you do. We'll keep waiting and cheering you on/up.
7 years, 10 months ago
There's one part you need to pay attention to:

I'm constantly being barraged with "hate" mail saying that I over inflate normal things that make life hard just to make my fan's feel sorry for me.

I think this is true. It's, not that I'm calling you a liar about anything or anything like that... But, I do think you would do better if you learned to better manage stress. Not an easy task, of course; but something worth looking into. Stress causes a lot of different things, and none of them are good.

Learn to destress; look up advice, techniques, etc. Do what you need to to get your stress levels down, and I think it will help out. Trying to take a step back so as to not "over inflate" things is part of that. =)
7 years, 10 months ago
if it makes you feel better there are more people that trust you and actually know that life is shit sometimes,you just gotta keep on goin and try and live your life the way you want to.
7 years, 10 months ago
the funny thing is I know ALOT of people where their parents make their kids pay rent. And when I had a job my paycheck went to bills.

Course, it was my choice, but irregardless. Also, again, Those internet rates are correct. I have friends who live in and around bermuda, some opted for satellite simply for cost sake (and get a worst internet connection than you, avalon)

All I can say is keep truckin, and dont let hate mail slow you down. And to the idiot who posted the hatemail, just cuz you have the high life and a free ride doesnt mean all of us do too.
7 years, 10 months ago
Death threats? Seriously?! >_< There are SO many things in the world/on the itnernet that are FAR worse than fictional cahracters bumping uglies...
7 years, 10 months ago
Is this letter all that guy?
or do you respond to him.
its semi confusing towards the bottom.
7 years, 10 months ago
7 years, 10 months ago
sadly i do have to comment.. yes they are total idiots.. 2nd if you had lost intrest im sure you would have told us.. so im sure you have not. and 3rd tell the idiot i can track him down and do bad things to him i need to tch specking most of everyone and all i need is there email address.. and your problems will all go away XD or not lol most of them will lol. as for the game just keep doing what you do best and take your time. thoes of us that do care dont care how long it gets finished we have the patience to actually wait for it . i think im done donw lol you could let me blow off some steam on to them XD i could really use the effort here..
7 years, 10 months ago
and yes i know i have miss spellings dont make me fix them cause at this point i just quit caring to tired to really want to go back and fix it.. well that and my keyboard is not working right
7 years, 10 months ago
Some people are just asses. Just delete the emails of those people, and d what you want. My creed is "never explain, never apologize, just accept."

Ths dude's probably just a hater doing what they do best. He's a flea, so squash him.
7 years, 10 months ago
Damn the people who believe something with no proof or reason.

Keep on going at it Aval0n :)
7 years, 10 months ago
HA HA HA, wow.  This is a sad email someone sent to you.  For one, who really cares if you are telling the truth about where you live.  The stories you tell us are interesting and you have intelligence that most people are sadly lacking.  Second, who really cares that you get donations.  We appreciate your effort on the game and people are willing to help you out with that.  Why should you have to pay everything for your fans when they are willing to help.  I cannot see this as being a majority view.  This really sounds like a little kid who has no responsibilities and likes to back talk.

Just remember you have alot of supporters.  And I for one like what you write since there is a sense of philosophy in alot of it.
7 years, 10 months ago
Haters gon' hate, bruh. Shit doesn't ruffle your feathers if it doesn't touch you, knowmsayin?
7 years, 10 months ago
Just look at it this way, once the game is finally complete it's just one more bit of load off your back and you guys will never have to deal with this kind of crap from fans ever again!
7 years, 10 months ago
Avalon, our friend, do us all a favor......just ignore the babys who cry for the attention no one else will give them. They say that just to get you all "bothered". Alls they want is a new update on the game. While I want that as well, I can and will wait till YOU are ready, that's all we who care need.
7 years, 10 months ago
Why is it that trolls have a thang about saying everyone lies? (How long before this comment is called a lie?). But, your hours seem quite forgiving, but still, crap pay. Best of luck to ye, ingnore the trolls nomatter what they wail at ye.
7 years, 10 months ago
I SAYS WE KICK HIS ASS :P or i will if yall dont feel like wasting your time :)
7 years, 10 months ago
explaining is 2% of the battle the rest is getting stuff done and being proud of your life. they can troll all they want that just means they have no life i can say this its all about the way you look at life not how they look at life you can be a begger and still be happy you can be a wealthy person and be depressed thats all i got to say on the matter
7 years, 10 months ago
1)Wow, & here I thought we'd seen some douches before. Why is it that everyone gives Aval0n shit when he tries to give a reason for delays. Would these people prefer he said "fuck it" & dropped his hobby?
2)Death threats, I thought that was a crime...
3) WTF business is it of his? If he's upset over something, deal with it. He should fuck off & not take his stress out on others.
Anyone want to bet this douche is a 300+ pound virgin still hiding his porn stash from mommy?
7 years, 10 months ago
Ohh, making a game for FREE?!  What a douche.  (Sarcasm.)  Seriously, don't these guys have a better use for their time?  Trash.  Impatient, bored, unknowingly-suicidal, TRASH.  Aval0n, keep-up your awesome work!  You need not worry; you need not care. ^_^

7 years, 10 months ago
If you see something that sounds hateful, just trash it. Don't even bother giving it your time. You, and only you, can truly understand your circumstances. Nobody has had the exact same life as you, so nobody BUT you can truly relate. Live your life, do what you want when you can, and ignore the people who think they're entitled to free entertainment.

It's all on you, bro. Don't let the turkeys get you down.
7 years, 10 months ago
Why. The. Fuck. Do. Other. People. Need. This. Information!?!?!?!?!  I did not read the journal and I would encourage you to put it down to protect yourself.  To me it does not matter if you are trying to scam people for money or not.  If you deliver a good product then I have no qualms with you.  Hell, even if the product is shitty I still have no qualms with you.

Just ignore the internet trolls unless they are actively costing you money though stuff like stealing your work.
7 years, 10 months ago
Fuck those haters :p
Little mid-teens who shouldn't even BE on an adult site have no clue how things work in the real world.  Keep doin' what you do, ignore the little fuckbags, and piss 'em off twice as bad by not burning a hole through them.
7 years, 10 months ago
gees dude, seriously, just ignore that shit.
7 years, 10 months ago
keep it going man don't let the haters win, they just just don't know how hard things can be financially where i live there is 2 people living here we both have a job and we barely make ends meet and all we have extra is internet and a cell phone each.
7 years, 10 months ago
Dude, we love you.  You have to stop paying attention to the trolls and idiots out there, some people just hate for hates sake.  I know how hard it can be to make it by on your own and let me say I appreciate all this work you are doing for us.  Don't let the idiots out there get you down.
7 years, 10 months ago
Rawr^^  braindead fools should keep their mouths shut, especially when they put things together without even knowingall the facts. Also as all the comments iv read so far have said, ill say pretty much the same. The dude should go crawl into a corner and mind himself there, if something happens deal with that first, the game is amazing but not worth becoming an issue while at the same time trying to deal with life affecting problems.
This is my opinion.
7 years, 10 months ago
i'm amazed by you avalon
only the fact that you make a free game for us and that you have a job and you have to pay alot of bills  and people still whine ?
ok i wish some updates 2 but i understand that if your busy you can't make a free game that actually costs you time.

I really respect that you have a "rich" father but you don't want his money DANG thats MONHOOD.

i love you game just becouse its different then al those other games.

last but not least.
i know how it feels to have a car accident and paying bills SUX !!!!.



7 years, 10 months ago
I hope everything works out for you. I guess everyone could file complaints about douche bags that troll you. Maybe you could have a page setup to list those douche bags so that the rest of us, who actually care and are considerate enough not to talk crap and troll, could go to their pages and troll those idiots :3 idk... i say we go get 'em ... bye reporting them or fighting troll with troll XD your call and *HUGZ!!!*
7 years, 10 months ago
I still find it hard to believe someone would make such a fuss from a unfinished videogame. If it's always like this, I feel pity for the duke nukem forever development team lol. Keep up the good work avalon, it's not your fault that there are people who just can't get a life =D
7 years, 10 months ago
Dude, I don't get why you feel the need to keep justifying yourself to people.  

I mean seriously you're not charging people for anything, they've got no place to complain.

Aside from that the internet is filled with people who get some sort of sick pleasure out of griefing people for no reason.

Try not to let them get to you man.

PS:  For what its worth I and many other people think your work is awesome and while we'd certainly love to see you release the game tomorrow most of us understand that you have shit to take care of in real life.
7 years, 10 months ago
I swear I gotta donate to you, when I get my own financial crapshoot in order, mainly 'cuz I do enjoy your free game, and $100 for Internet is balls (cuz i pay $80 for 22mps) and would probably be as pissed as you are if I had to pay that much for crap speed.
7 years, 10 months ago
" Gurumash wrote:
(cuz i pay $80 for 22mps)

mine is $30 a month for 30mbps/5mbps with no limits. i never knew internet was so expensive in other parts of the world. Aval0n, next month I will try to send you some money. send me a pm with your paypal information. also, ignore idiots like that guy or send an email to abuse@<enter email portion of their email> and complain about the emails. :)
7 years, 10 months ago
You only get more stuff like this the more you pay attention to it. Trolls die inside when they notice you don't give a rats ass about them and what they think.
7 years, 10 months ago
You're good at what you do and as a result have gained a degree of fame. There's a reason fame often causes people to go off the deep end and the trolls are a part of it. Focus on the work, those who appreciate what you do and your own personal sanity and happiness -- don't ever forget YOU'RE worth it. If our emotional support helps, that's great but ultimately any artist does what he or she does to express him or herself. Be well. Be good. The rest will fall into place. And by the way? LOVE your work.
7 years, 10 months ago
If I get email like that one, it goes straight to the SPAM folder.
You have a life, but this guy apparently doesn't.
Some bad things happened in your life, and this guy can't relate to that.
So what?
Ignore him, and continue on.

7 years, 10 months ago
For the ten years I was living with my mother while unemployed and so on benefits, I was getting £50-£55 a week or so.. Mum charged me £40-£45 a week board and logings, as well as me doing the washing, laundry, cooking, ironing, painting, decorating, heavy garden work, etc etc.

No matter how hard you try, no matter how much you pay, some people are going to hate you for it, and theres nothing that can be done about them except for certain practices available only to third world tyrannical despots, or the US Govt.

Wish you all the best, and thanks for the work so far. 8}
7 years, 10 months ago
I have to say, you answered that extreme email with high levels of patience and a good degree of calm...
all in all, well responded to!

I personally would start bombarding that guy with spam mail, but thats just me...
7 years, 10 months ago
Man, your broadband prices are even worse then ours here in Norway...
I just checked and the biggest provider offers 5 mbps at about 65 USD and the 40 mbps offer from them is at about 102 USD...
Then again, we're not an island...
The faeroese islands for instance have the highest energy prices in the nordic region because they are islands...
Importing stuff to islands tend to be expensive with things like internet requiring cables and stuff where the cost is split on few people due to the low populations that islands tend to have...
Anyway, you have my sympathy and I hope you won't get any more hatemail of that kind again :-/
Ps. I'm sure that we have something here in Norway that's more expensive then the same thing in Bermuda ;-)
Don't know what though... Perhaps gas? Our gas prices where three times the ones in Indonesia last time I checked...
7 years, 10 months ago
One this I noticed there about paying bill when living with parents, Well, I can say, I am living with my parents, and my "board" it to pay for the phone and internet 180$ a week, hense I AM paying Bills when living with my parents whom are supporting me

Btw, Aval0nX Keeps up the awesome work ^^
7 years, 10 months ago
You forgot to address that the person who wrote that E-mail has really bad grammar and sounds like a 12 year old who learned how to look things up on the internet.
7 years, 10 months ago
You don't have to justice fie yourself to someone you don't know
7 years, 10 months ago
AvalonX, don't feel the need to justify yourself to haters.

I made some dumb moves myself, including giving in to my mom's extortion and giving my grandmother money that I couldn't afford to give. (The upside of that is I have a rent-free place for a few months... if I want to put up with 'teh drama' =__=)

In the end, we're only human. Do what you can, your fellow men and women will do the rest.
7 years, 9 months ago
Heyhey avalon, you know the fanbase sticks with you whatever happens and we all apreciate your free game and art, and that's why you remain here and i think that is all you need :-)
7 years, 9 months ago
All I got to say is who gives a crap if you tell the truth or not. It is you life Aval0nX and it is no ones business but your own of what you do. I don't follow you cause I want to know what you ate for breakfast, I follow cause in my opinion your art is interesting. People who call you a liar or complain aren't worth the time of day and frankly be ignored. You have a life outside of this stuff and if you take a year to complete a game than it is what it is. This shouldn't be a stressful environment. Keep up the good work.
7 years, 9 months ago
some people are just jerks. I find your game to be an incredible work of skill and highly enjoyable all round. please don't let jerks destroy it and you.
7 years, 9 months ago
heres a solution, pack your shit and come to canada :p! pay like half of what you pay for 4mbs, and im sure your house won't fry up here, and dw we don't actually live in igloos ;D
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