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ButtercupSaiyan

Relapse, prevent, trigger, intent, NOW DROWN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idjFt16v_dQ Blue October, X Amount of Words

Let's see, I try to make a daily rite of drinking some kind of tea, usually green tea with pomegranate with a touch of milk and honey as a kind of morning ablution at work without the sort of cleansing that involves immersing myself in water. I have a love/hate relationship with any kind of water, for my own reasons.

While I adore the ocean, I can't swim for shit and I want to get a real swimming mask and flippers and go to the beach and throw myself past the surf with abandon and conquer my fears, just to prove that I know how, but it can wait, I suppose. All rivers lead to the sea. I'll make it there eventually...

I also got on the phone with Paypal and they decided to expediate the fraud check on that Koram Games bullshit that stole $30 from me that I couldn't afford to have stolen.

I'm having an okay day. In roughly a 20 minutes, I hop on the bus to go down to the doctor's office to a set a hurricane into motion, basically. In another week, it's another sort of doctor and in two weeks, another doctor... but it's important to take a whole approach to my health, mind and body and soul as well. My yoga class did a lot for my spirit, now it's time for the rest to catch up.

I'm going to stay late today. I will see if I get time to do some traditional drawings. I've had to neglect commissions and projects slightly in order to take care of myself so I can do commissions and projects in the future instead of hitting burn out and misery and depression. Better to be a little late than never.

I'm going to lay my trident down today and just be the acolyte, a student of life.
Viewed: 57 times
Added: 7 years, 3 months ago
 
DMajorBoss
7 years, 3 months ago
Definitely sounds like a great mass of things happening on your end, and I do wonder about these doctor visits as well.

Still, I'm hopeful that things will go well with you.  Take care, and keep in touch.
ButtercupSaiyan
7 years, 3 months ago
What do you wonder about?

Things are going quite well, actually, they're picking up a little. Getting comfortable with drawing again, starting to settle into my living situation a little more and not forget basic needs like eating, drinking, sleeping...
ShadowsInc
7 years, 3 months ago
I think he's wondering what the visits are for...
DMajorBoss
7 years, 3 months ago
Whenever one goes to a doctor, even if I know why, I always wonder...or worry, to better put it.  I don't mind doctor visits, mind you, but I always hope that they turn out well.

But, yes, I'm glad that things are settling!
ButtercupSaiyan
7 years, 3 months ago
Oh, I see. Well, it's the same problems I've always had: gender dysphoria, bipolar, panic disorder.

It's not like I'm antisocial, I actually really enjoy people... when I'm stabilized. It's just, they don't understand why I act strangely sometimes or I have to put myself first.
DMajorBoss
7 years, 3 months ago
Ah, I get you now.
ShadowsInc
7 years, 3 months ago
Speaking of traditional art... Have you checked out that paper I told you about yet?
ButtercupSaiyan
7 years, 3 months ago
Not yet... remind me?

I need to get down town to this place to buy shit like that: http://www.yelp.com/biz/poitras-r-e-co-artists-supplie...
ShadowsInc
7 years, 3 months ago
It's called "Vellum" paper... "Velllum" is the smoothness and is amazing. The kind I like to use the most is called "Bristol Vellum", ("Bristol" is the weight of the paper) and I use Strathmore brand. I actually gave you the wrong prices before, it is around $6.99 for a 20 sheet / 9"x12" book, and around $11.99 for a 20 sheet / 11"x14" book. Here's a picture of it : http://www.plazaart.com/images/2099/300_bristol-vellum... .  Make sure that you pay close attention to the cover, because you have to make sure that right under the big word "Bristol", there is a small italicized text that says "vellum". Great stuff....

I tend to get it at Michaels... I shouldn't because Michaels outrageously overcharges for everything, but there's no real art stores around where I am. The closest real art store is quite a few miles away...
ButtercupSaiyan
7 years, 3 months ago
CODE WORD VELLUM
ShadowsInc
7 years, 3 months ago
Damn right. :3
ButtercupSaiyan
7 years, 3 months ago
Haha. I really need to get transportation... >_< so I can go buy stuff from the art store or get to my lessons and classes.
ShadowsInc
7 years, 3 months ago
I just finished 3.7/5 parts for my final in one of my classes... Unfortunately, I think that's all I'll be able to get done...
ButtercupSaiyan
7 years, 3 months ago
Ohhh no! Why only that much?
ShadowsInc
7 years, 3 months ago
I'm done presenting... I only had enough time to get about that many cards done.
Now I have to finish a file for Photoshop that's due at 9 am tomorrow morning.
ButtercupSaiyan
7 years, 3 months ago
How did it go?
ShadowsInc
7 years, 3 months ago
It went.... For better or for worse, it went...
We'll see if I passed my classes when my grades get posted. I'm not worried at all about my Cartooning class, but I am a little bit for my Photoshop class.
ButtercupSaiyan
7 years, 3 months ago
Awww, I bet I could have helped you study. :<
ShadowsInc
7 years, 3 months ago
There was no studying this quarter... It was all Photoshop and drawing stuff. Thanks though :3
ButtercupSaiyan
7 years, 2 months ago
Oh, I see. In that case, the cure is probably to corner me on my stream and force me to show you how to do certain things, like masking, some of the more exotic things I always forget to use in Photoshop like the flexibility of the pen tool and so forth.
ShadowsInc
7 years, 2 months ago
If I ever need help, I'll make sure to do that... You don't really stream that often though. (according to Ink Bunny)
Did you get a chance to check out any Bristol Vellum yet?
ButtercupSaiyan
7 years, 2 months ago
I know, people want like nightly streams but I woooork during the week. I may fail at sleeping but I usually try.
sammm
7 years, 3 months ago
Allways take care of yourself First, everything else will fall into place.

Good luck.
ButtercupSaiyan
7 years, 3 months ago
Thanks, I know you have said this before but it's STILL good advice so thanks.
omnomrawr
7 years, 3 months ago
Check your PMs on FuraAffinity!
ButtercupSaiyan
7 years, 3 months ago
Doing so, since you said. I tend to be pretty oblivious with DA and FA notes, my bad.

[/edit] Oooh, I did miss some recently. Oops.
BinaryTaco
7 years, 3 months ago
If you want to swim, go to a gym with an olympic pool.
Not lying, I never swimmed, and within 6 mo I was swimming in an olympic-length triathlon.
ButtercupSaiyan
7 years, 3 months ago
=O

Thanks!
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