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ButtercupSaiyan

Home from my trip+ COMMISSION info, I am desperate

IT'S JUNE, COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN! Fuck the drama, I'm freelancing no matter what. You want a pencil sketch, you get it for 5-10$ and I'll be doing them in mass. Preferably, I do clean (in the break room) but I can do any kind of commission in the library.

First things first: My PayPal is frozen. I'm working on it. It freaked out when I logged in from Ohio, and I'm never home long enough to use the house phone to fix it, you know? So I'll be figuring out how AlertPay and Amazon and Google Checkout works, but in the meantime, this is snailmail. I'll be purchasing business envelopes to mail the sketch, and you mail me a money order or cash, pretty much. If the package doesn't arrive, I'll digitally finish the sketch instead to make up for it. If your money doesn't arrive, you end up being my new beta-tester on Bliss Stage and giving reviews on Friendships is Magic animations for a reasonable amount of time and pay me back by working it off. (laugh)

If you want me to reference a fan character or it's fanart, I will need to take the price up by 5$ because I have to print that shit out and drag it around with me, no hard feelings meant but having a folder of printed porn is awkward to hide and explain. The kind of commissions I want, clean, ecchi, or hentai are as follows: give me a paragraph I can write down in my notebook and let me just "do my thing." It might be 2-3 concept sketches before you and I find something we both like, those are free.

Okay, personal matters:

The ride home was actually very quiet but that probably had to do with me passing out in a sickened stupor in the backseat and drooling onto my jacket until my little sister nudged me and said "We're home!" and then I stayed up, took care of business and friends on my PC until midnight, and went to bed.

I called out sick from work (I caught Ariamaki's flu and so did Elliott =( Funny, I used protection for the normal stuff but I forgot about the regular contagions... oh, well, not the first time I've had a cold of coughing, headaches, runny nose, and general miserableness) and dealt with some loldrama on Bliss Stage and I'm currently in the Computing center of my college campus because my mother reacted predictably when Kaitlyn was not around to witness her raging.

I guess I'll just break it down into points, I don't feel like rambling on so much:

1) My mom is abusive, no questions asked. I pretty much pulled out my cell-phone and said, "Either you let me leave and get out of my face or I call the police" not because I was threatening her but because I am very ill, exhausted, and trying to recover and did NOT need a fight when I was on a personal call... not that she cared. So, yeah, she blew up more, I ignored it and got the hell out and went to work.

2) On the way home from airport, out of the blue, Kaitlyn says: "Am I more of a little boy than a little girl?" and I overrode my mother's rampant homophobia and said: "You are whoever you feel you are on the inside. You know how all those things tell you not to judge a book by its cover? You write your own pages, Katie." and my mom got in lots of nice little jibes today like "You're a rotten daughter" and "Don't tell my daughter she's gay" and "look at you, you're 165 lbs, you're too out of shape and unhealthy to live by yourself without a car and get around by walking and biking" (wrong, I lost 10 just in the last month! GO ME!! =D) and my favorite one: "I don't depend on you to provide for me!" Well, I said some things I didn't mean to, but it boils down to what she wouldn't let me finish saying: "I love you, Mom, this is your birthday and I wanted to make it special, but you're still treating me like a child. You're a good person, but you do some very very bad things."

She said to me: "I can have YOU arrested and Baker Acted!" and I laughed in her face. "You already tried that once, didn't work out so well that time either, did it?" and she paled a little. "You'll lose your job!" she said, and I was like, "Why do you think I'm going to my supervisor right now to document this kind of thing?" and she finally stepped back and let me leave the house at that point. Love is my weapon... I just didn't want to wield it that way, but she didn't give me much choice. I pretty much stated, "I have my medications on me and I've been taking them, you can't touch me. Oh, and I'll be scheduling an appointment with my therapist... not to please you but because if you're not going to get help, it's not going to stop me from getting mine."

3) Fuck her interference, I'm going to buy a second USB drive (left mine in California ;_;) and put a portable version of Flash on it JUST to do Friendship is Magic fanimation and Bliss Stage vectors on the go. Failing that, Paint Tool SAI and ArtRage will do nicely. Basically, I just need to be able to do art away from home and it involves a lot of sketchpads, pencils, pens, erasers, pencil sharpeners, my work scanners, tracing paper, watercolour, crayons, colored pencils, and me buying a new laptop very soon. My new cellphone definitely helped.

In short, the vacation went better than expected and the arrival home went exactly as planned because my mother is a predictable abuser. :| I was ready to back down and submit, but standing in the door way so I can't take my walk to cool off and try to force a "genuine apology" out of me? Nope. I love completely and wholeheartedly and if that means telling her that I love her so much that she's killing me, then that's what I have to say.
Viewed: 54 times
Added: 7 years, 5 months ago
 
tsunderelightning
7 years, 5 months ago
Oh love.  I'm sorry that it came to that, but I'm very, very happy that you had the maturity to deal with it like that.  And that your mother knows exactly how little she has to stand on if she tries that sort of thing in the future.
ButtercupSaiyan
7 years, 5 months ago
You don't even know the half of it. :| I got home from work, and she pulled Kaitlyn away by the arm when I hugged her when I walked through the door.

Holding my little sister hostage in order to try to break me, how classy. In my mind's eye, Kaitlyn will be on the Internet sometime later in her life, and will discover my Friendship is Magic episodes I'm going to do this summer and, more specifically, the morality lessons:

"Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned that money can't buy happiness and I never gave it much thought, but I realized that my friends are the best gift I've ever received. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle"

"Dear Princess Celestia, the lesson I learned is that you should never judge a book by its cover because sometimes the best part is the author's note. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."
liontaro
7 years, 5 months ago
Somehow I don't like your mother... >:C
Well, you gave your mother a mouthful and that's exactly the best thing you could've done.
And about your sickness: maybe NOW you need the gasmask from your cosplay xDD

Hope you feel better soon ~
ButtercupSaiyan
7 years, 5 months ago
That would raise a few eyebrows at work *lol* I lost my paper mask they gave me on the plane. I coughed so much, they quarantined me! D=
liontaro
7 years, 5 months ago
hehe here in germany we also have some problems to solve right now
a very dangerous intestinal virus *lol*
but the sad thing is that it already killed like 15 people and you get it by eating tomatoes, salad and pickles.
so everybody could have it. maybe me too :C

people who have that also get quarantined...
ButtercupSaiyan
7 years, 5 months ago
Looks like the carnivores that shun vegans and vegetarians get off easy, huh...
ruink
7 years, 5 months ago
wow... snailmail stuff.  I guess that idea discussed will have to wait a while
ButtercupSaiyan
7 years, 5 months ago
Well, I have Internet now so we'll see. I will just go into "emergency survival mode" anyway.
ButtercupSaiyan
7 years, 5 months ago
I lied, I do not have Internet anymore and my mom is psychotic. FML again.
ButtercupSaiyan
7 years, 5 months ago
... And I have Internet again so send me a note whenever you're ready. My laptop is MOBILE.
sammm
7 years, 5 months ago
Hope things calm down soon.  Get Well soon.  
ButtercupSaiyan
7 years, 5 months ago
Thanks.
DMajorBoss
7 years, 5 months ago
Ah, I remember a lot of what you told me earlier, so I know it may be a while before you see this.

*hugs*

I hope that the hectic times pass soon, my dear, and that things go well for you (and that you feel better soon).
Jader
7 years, 5 months ago
Es una pena que no lleves una buena relacion con tu madre, es facil opinar pero muy dificil acertar ya que no vivo una situacion igual a la tuya, por experiencia solo te puedo decir que generalmente los padres buscan que les des la razon, cumplas tus deberes y seas buen estudiante, a mi me sirvio mucho a tal grado que las discuciones desaparecieron y termine siendo amigo de mi madre, comparto la idea la Tercera Ley de Newton aplicada al ambiente social, a toda accion corresponde una reaccion, normalmente siempre vemos la reaccion y mas si esta es negativa, pero nunca nos percatamos de la accion, lo que nosotros estamos haciendo para provocar esa reaccion, todas las personas son tratables solo ahi que saber el como, y eso lo averiguamos siendo pacientes y escuchando, aunque te repito no pretendo entrometerme en tu vida ni mucho menos como la debes vivir esto es solo experiencias que he aprendido y que quizas te puedan servir, por otro lado dale prioridad a tu salud que sin ella lo demas carece de importancia, te mando muchos saludos y cuidate mucho :3 *abrazos*

I hope the translation is good >.<

It's a shame you do not take a good relationship with your mother, it's easy to say but very difficult to hit because they do not live a situation like yours, from experience I can only say that generally parents are looking to give them reason, fulfill your duties and be a good student, I helped me so much that in discussions disappear and end up being friends with my mother, I share the idea of Newton's Third Law applied to the social environment, every action a reaction, usually always see the reaction and more if this is negative, but we never realized the action, what we are doing to cause this reaction, all people are treatable only there to know how, and why do we know being patient and listening, but I repeat I do not intend to intrude on your life, much less as you live it is only my experience that I learned that maybe you can serve, on the other hand give priority to your health without it the rest is irrelevant, I send you many greetings and take care much :3 * hugs *
ButtercupSaiyan
7 years, 5 months ago
Thanks for your words, Jader. You are right, every effect has a cause and every cause has an effect ... and for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. In this case, though, I may not be the cause, I'm just the one affected by it most immediately. The cause was probably my mother's prior abuse and neglect at the hands of different lovers and family members. I have neglected her, and I cannot deny that, but it probably wasn't worth her taking the actions that she did, it only ended up driving me even further away and now puts her living situation at risk along with her custody of my little sister.

On the plus side, I've been getting very slow but steady commissions and since it takes me a few days to do them, I should have enough to keep me busy between those, Bliss Stage, and the My Little Pony Fandom is Magic project.

Gracias por tus palabras, Jader. Tiene usted razón, todo efecto tiene una causa y toda causa tiene un efecto ... y para cada acción hay una reacción igual y opuesta. En este caso, sin embargo, no puede ser la causa, sólo soy el afectado por ella de manera más inmediata. La causa fue probablemente el abuso antes de mi madre y el abandono en las manos de los amantes de diferentes miembros de la familia. La he olvidado, y no puedo negar que, pero probablemente no valía la pena la adopción de las medidas que sí, que sólo terminó me conduce aún más lejos y ahora pone a su situación de vida en riesgo, junto con la custodia de mi pequeña hermana.

En el lado positivo, he estado recibiendo comisiones muy lento, pero constante y desde que me lleva unos días para hacerlo, debería haber suficiente para mantenerme ocupado entre ellos, Bliss escenario, y el My Little Pony Fandom es el proyecto de Magia .
Jader
7 years, 5 months ago
No hay decisiones equivocadas solo caminos alternativos, como te mencionaba es dificil imaginar lo que estas pasando debido a que no estoy en una situacion similar, creo que pedir ayuda profesional es la mejor opcion que tomaste, debes ser fuerte y no declinar, no existe tormenta que dure mil años, ya vendran tiempos mejores, lamentablemente lo unico que puedo hacer es mandarte mi todo mi apoyo, cuidate mucho y te mando miles de abrazos ~^-^~

P.D. Me alegra escuchar que tiene muchos proyectos en puerta eso lo mantendra un poco distraido de los problemas, sera una bocanada de oxigeno, esperare ancioso ver su trabajo :3


Translate

There are no wrong decisions only alternative paths, as I mentioned is difficult to imagine what you are going because I'm not in a similar situation, I think professional help is the best option that took, you must be strong and do not decline, There is no storm that lasts a thousand years, will come better days, unfortunately all I can do is send me all my support, take care and send you thousands of hugs ~ ^-^ ~

P.S. I'm glad to hear that door has many projects that will keep a bit distracted from the problems, will be a breath of oxygen, I will be waiting eager to see their work: 3
ButtercupSaiyan
7 years, 5 months ago
Thanks for your support, Jader. And, yes, other projects are indeed taking my mind off of the bullshit.
Jader
7 years, 5 months ago
See... not all bad ... I hope you get more projects ... but can also make your personal projects, which this although not remunerate economically, if they can do something more important ... give you the satisfaction and pride to make something of your own ... for other side... I think we should all support each other ... at least moral support ... in these difficult times are the things that comfort us and allow us to move forward ... I wish you the best and be in contact *hugs* ~^.^~
ButtercupSaiyan
7 years, 5 months ago
Thanks, Jader, you always have the best and honest way of putting things that, despite the slight language barrier, comes through perfectly clearly.
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