I have been severely decompressed lately, well lately would be an understatement I have been depressed every sense I had to leave my other cat in Lakeland, he is well settled in with my sister now so I do not want to take him away from her.
Several reasons why I had to eat him behind none of which I really want to go into, but people need to have something to take care of, and although I very much love every teddy bear I have this house I have come to the conclusion that getting up every morning walking around this very much empty house and not having something to look forward to every day.
Oh I have things to look forward to, getting up making a pot of coffee checking my e-mail watching the View, a bunch of judge shows and cold case files the real ones not the TV series.
Making dinner an sweating to death inside my house, one thing I hate more than anything in this god damn world is houseflies and sweating I can't stand it drives me absolutely bugshit sorry about that but it does.
Another reason for my depression is that, I mean I can go anywhere or do anything without having somebody tagalong or take me somewhere I can't stand that either reason being I don't have a call can afford a car probably will never have another car I'm hoping (I'm also tired of hearing if you only think bad things are going to happen then they will, you make your own luck) """BULL FUCKING SHIT""" you can quote that.
Bad things happen to good people yes I believe that.
In no way have I ever been or claim to be Mr. Goody goody two shoes in my entire life, I have done some pretty bad shit, not know going away to prison for the rest of your life shit, but bad nonetheless.
and to be quite frankly honest I am tired of being alone and I can't have a dog, don't know why I am my own house, I mean I pay for it every month and isn't rent is a mortgage well it's rent and mortgage combine to gather, I own a mobile home and I pay rent on the lot and I pay a mortgage on the house.
But dammit I am going to have me a cat, I am very very very sick and tired of being told what I can and cannot have, all that shit and all the hell I have gone through my whole entire life, God dammit I'm going to have me a pet ( do not like calling animals pets) prefer calling them friends, my last cat was named Muffin, I think there is a picture of him laying on my bed in my scrap file maybe maybe not.
But he was a tiger striped orange kitty, he kind of adopted me but that's usually how I get my cat's probably will not get a kitty this month problem will he next month and I most definitely will go down to an animal shelter or something like that and get one there I have been thinking about it for a very long time I really didn't want to get one being set my house is not very well air-conditioned.
Now to all of those who think that you make your own luck I will let you in on a little secret and why I think it is total bull shit,.. From the time I was 12 years old till the time I was about 16 I went in to Job Core at age 16 and learned a trade, but between the ages of 12 and 16 I was raped every day and not just once, this also goes out to everybody that thinks that all babyfurs are pedophiles, I was anally raped every day, So the most disgusting thing to me in my whole entire life is a pedophile and if I had one in front of me I would kill them the most slowest way I could think of, (and yes I role play sexually as a babyfur, but it has nothing to do with actual children, it is two consenting adults engaged in sexual Fur-play and if you can't understand that you're dumber than shit!!!) so the next time you say you make your own luck think about that, and then look me in the eye and say I make my own luck about that!!!
7 years, 10 months ago
01 Jun 2011 08:29 CEST