Hatred and resentment and bitterness.... usually these are things that cause a person to stagnate and wallow in self pity. In my case, however, these emotions are actually pushing me though some of the more difficult times.
In everything I make, I place a little bit of my hatred of this place. A hatred that comes across as savory and sweet. It is pleasing to the taste buds because it's a hate that wants to much to leave this place, and the only way I can do it is to become better.
I'm going to break free and I want to be be more successful than the people I have grown to resent.
And so I'm getting a push from all for this. Some might say this is the wrong kind of excellent to success, but you have to take what you have and you have to take what you got. You have to take it all in and refine it. You have to make it a fuel that will push you onwards and upwards.
Sure, you can do it with the namby-pamby hopes and dreams; butterflies and rainbows; but those fade with time. Fuck those things. You need to get up and take what's yours because those who take pity on you and give to you can one day turn on you. You need to know how to provide for yourself. If you let people provide for you all the time, one day you will forget and when the rug is pulled up from under you, you will suffer for it.
I'm going to be successful. I'm going to make new memories. I'm going to destroy the specters of the old memories. To hell with anyone who gets in my way.
5 years, 6 months ago
24 Sep 2013 20:35 CEST