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IB and Gender Identity

Cross-posted from my FA account.

Just a quick note to say that I'm a total idiot, and I can't always keep up with everyone's gender identity. You'd think, being trans myself, I'd have an easier time with it, but my short-term memory isn't worth shit. So I just want to go ahead and apologize to anyone who I may have misidentified, or who I may do that to in the future. I do my best, and I want everyone to know that I absolutely respect everyone's right to their own identity, but you may certainly smack me if I screw up.

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Added:	10 years, 7 months ago 24 Sep 2013 04:55 CEST

14 Comments on this Journal

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nanokoex

10 years, 7 months ago

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I have alot of transgender friends, so its cool.^^

dmfalk

10 years, 7 months ago

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Being TG myself, I know what you mean. :)

I often answer to both. :)

d.m.f.

MeganBryar

10 years, 7 months ago

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@ dmfalk

I always remember that you are, but for the life of me I can never remember how you identify and I'm terribly sorry about that. You are one of about three or four people I always screw up with, and most of the others only recently came out.

dmfalk

10 years, 7 months ago

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@ MeganBryar

Well, I am male with a predominantly-effeminate personality (but not the stereotypical "gay" personality) and am a crossdresser, and yet, I'm neither gay nor bi. Had I been born female (like Amy), I would've been most likely a femme lesbian.

I don't use the name I was given before my birth, but rather a variation of my birth certificate name (a reversal of my first & middle names). For the first two weeks of my life (due to being in the hospital, and no expectation of survival), I had a girl's name, but one I'm reluctant to use, because of someone I fell in love with, that I still have strong feelings for, that has the same name.

I do seem to project an air of gender ambiguity, as I can seem like either gender at any given moment. :)

d.m.f.

NikkiWolf315

10 years, 7 months ago

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right, I'll remember to smack you should you screw up :p

in all seriousness, I doubt anyone that knows you would be offended, we all make mistakes, even you, Megan :)

MeganBryar

10 years, 7 months ago

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@ NikkiWolf315

I hope not. But even so, I feel bad when I do mess up, especially since so many people have been so good to me.

But thanks!

AdamLeisemann

10 years, 7 months ago

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I read somewhere that one useful rule to go by is to operate based on the presented gender (based on the way they present themselves) unless you absolutely know they identify otherwise. (I think the reason for said rule is because if you straight-up ask EVERY person you meet, you're going to run into more awkward situations than you'll avert.)

That is to say, if the person presents herself as a female, she is a woman, even if it's pretty evident that she is biologically male. Same for someone presenting himself as a man despite, if you'll pardon the Monty Pythonism, "Huge tracts of land.". Sure, plain old crossdressers might be slightly annoyed, but I doubt they'd mind too much when it's really just a matter of having respect for other trans* people.

Of course, I am not an expert on this sort of thing, being cisgendered myself and lacking experience with transgendered people save for a grand total of two; one I sometimes chat with online and the other I only know because she's a friend of my brother's.

Admittedly, I didn't know you were transgendered yourself. Going by the name of your account, I take it your identity is female?

MeganBryar

10 years, 7 months ago

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@ AdamLeisemann

Well yes, and most of the time it's pretty easy to figure out who identifies which way, even in strictly on-line interactions. And, of course, I'm cool with properly identifying someone regardless of physical appearance. A lot of the trans people I've met have been pre-op, and that's not an easy thing to do by any means. But I do screw up sometimes, and I just hope people will realize it's not out of malice. Trans folk get enough of that and I'd never want to make any of them feel bad if I can avoid it.

And yes, I do identify as female. My account name is my adopted name, and one which I hope to make my legal name one day.

AdamLeisemann

10 years, 7 months ago

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@ MeganBryar

Best of luck on the transition. ^.^

MeganBryar

10 years, 7 months ago

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@ AdamLeisemann

Thanks!

Alaskafox

10 years, 7 months ago

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Its a tough subject to swallow for most people cause now with gender identity becoming a more widely accepted (or at least aknowledged) think, there is now much much more factors to take into account when it comes to respecting how someone identifies themselves.

There are those that are male but identify as female, there are females that identify as male. There are males that project femininity but identify as male still and females that project masculinity but still identify as female. Then there are those who identify as neigther male nor female specificaly.(i feel alot lately this is my case, where as i am "male" but i do not demand to be identified as such, and frequently am mistaken for female, which is not a problem to me, for i am happy being called eigther)
There are also more factors at play, for instance those who dentify as the opposite gender bit preffer to remain annonymouse on the subject due to several variables anywhere from peers to personal acceptance.

AphroditeDraco

10 years, 7 months ago

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People make mistakes, which is why I hardly ever correct people when they refer to me in the masculine. It's sometimes irritating, but understandable.

Now if people using microphones in online multiplayer games would learn that "Inanna" has an 'n' after the 'I,' that would be a refreshing change... XP