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sonictopfan

...........

You know this feeling when you find out your friends hate you with guts, talk behind your back, wish you were dead? You ever had this this feeling you're being betrayed?

Yeah it sucks, I won't say who said what, not mentioning any names here, but I was informed recently (in a very bad way) that everyone whom I thought was my friend hates me with passion, that I'm being hated but pretty much everyone in my friend's list, 'friend', a word that lost its meaning long time ago, I'm going through deep depression, I don't feel like eating, drawing, playing games, doing anything, I'm having troubles trusting anybody anymore, I wish I'd just disappear so that everybody will be happy.

I'll be taking a nice break from this hellhole, in fact I'm thinking to have a fresh start, delete my DA and IB account, delete all the contacts from my skype, maybe stop drawing altogether, I wanna start fresh this way I'll do everybody a favor :'(

Edit: I'll add in a few things...

This isn't some assumption I made, I searched and got to the bottom of it, my good friend, whom her name shall not be mentioned (unless she's okay with it) is having the same issue with people whom she thought were her friends are talking badly about her behind her back, she went through deep depression and left, this is what you people want, if you're having a problem with someone grow balls and talk to them instead of being all cowards, I may be mad at
Blitscreet
Blitscreet
but I respect the guy, at least he had the balls to come and say in my face that he has a problem with me and he hates me, I couldn't be more disappointed with you guys...

Last thing I wanna say, last night I was at Sonic Retro chat, those who know me know usually I'm not respected there but I swear to God I'm not lying I saw more respect there than I could ever dream to have here, when Sonic Retro treat me better than Deviantart and Inkbunny, know something is really fucked up.
Viewed: 50 times
Added: 5 years, 1 month ago
 
Keeran
5 years, 1 month ago
oh, man, don't do that!
I'm pretty sure whoever said that to you was a troll, or hated you with their guts!
sonictopfan
5 years, 1 month ago
It's not a troll, and yes "they" hated me, but I'm not leaving, though things will be different.
Starkle2
5 years, 1 month ago
Come on, I don't hate you. I personally think you're a very nice guy.
sonictopfan
5 years, 1 month ago
I don't know maybe being nice is what got me in this situation, people abused that.
NOBODY321
5 years, 1 month ago
Hell man I know exactly how that feels. Back in my middle school days I was betrayed like that by everyone I knew, and I mean EVERYONE I knew. Friends, family, churchmates, you name it. Worse 3 years of my existence, and I often contemplated suicide (to this day I still think about committing suicide, but was too much of a coward to actually do it then.) Things eventually got better and several guys people who made my life a hellhole even apologized. I can understand you wanting a fresh start and all that but please don't stop drawing. You've got some 400 watchers who really do enjoy your art and I'm damn proud to be one of them man! I know I've said it before but I'll say it again here bro. Whatever you decide to do, I've got your back!
sonictopfan
5 years, 1 month ago
I'm sorry to hear man, and I'm glad you didn't commit suicide because then I wouldn't have met you, the thing is I was deeply hurt and you already know some stuff about it.
NOBODY321
5 years, 1 month ago
Yeah I know bro, and thanks. 11 years later things are much better yet I still contemplate suicide...heh, fate is one weird lady huh? Just don't let them get to you bro, we're all here for you.
AlyssaTheHybrid91
5 years, 1 month ago
Hey, don't fade away. A lot of people would really seriously miss you, I know I may not talk to you a lot but it doesn't mean I don't care for you. Just don't pay any mind to those haters, if you ask me, they're just jealous of you and they are missing out on the bigger picture, that friendship with you shouldn't be taken for granted or played with. It's their loss to decide to be idiots and abuse your trust. I still say you are a really sweet guy, even if you don't think so.

I know how it is to have trust abused by fake friends, don't give up just yet. Sure the world may be full of people that would take advantage of kind hearted and trusting people but not everyone is like that, and also I don't hate you either, it also seems like a small amount of people on your journal here care too. So, see? you are cared about, fading away is NOT the answer. Make sure you REALLY think about the people that would miss you because they care enough to take the time to be with you or talk to you. And DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT NOBODY WOULD MISS YOU, Its a very huge lie, YOU ARE CARED ABOUT! I'm sorry about your depression but just hang in there. I just want you to know I'm here for you.
sonictopfan
5 years, 1 month ago
Well, thank you, I really appreciate it, any way I decided I won't leave and start over but things will be different, trust me on this one.
AlyssaTheHybrid91
5 years, 1 month ago
It's no problem, and I'll do my best to be around for ya. X3
Tycloud
5 years, 1 month ago
*hugs* Ty loves you so stay :3
missmelablok
5 years, 1 month ago
I'm really sorry about your promblem man I don't know exacly what's going on but you must know that I don't hate you at all and I still see you as a friend you mean a lot to me in a friendship way you know I would feel terrible if I couldn't hear from you anymore I would even get scared D: Cuz' if I know some one personally that mean they mean a lot to me even people I don't really know but still. Don't leave I need to know how you're doing once in a while ;) Still good luck with all the problems >:I
nanokoex
5 years, 1 month ago
Hey I would miss you and I never would betray your friendship, although poeple have done it to me countless times.
Bluelimelight
5 years, 1 month ago
Im sure I have been betrayed more than you.
Blazeymix
5 years, 1 month ago
Distance yourself from those people, and embrace the ones that do care. (Like everyone in this Journal)
sonictopfan
5 years, 1 month ago
The thing is I don't really know whom I can trust anymore, in any case those in this journal only prove to me that I been following the "wrong" friends.
OppaiMaster
5 years, 1 month ago
Dude, that is really messed up. I REALLY hate to see you leave. I would never EVER betrayed anyone. I love your art. I'll always treasure them for your awesome. I don't want you to go. Don't listen to those stupid people. I bet they can't do what you do. You do such an amazing job. I'm with you. I mean it
sonictopfan
5 years, 1 month ago
Thank you my friend
Ivang
5 years, 1 month ago
NO! Don't do that! I don't to lose you forever bro! D':
ArcadiaCaptors714
5 years, 1 month ago
YOU ARE FORBIDDEN TO DO THAT BECAUSE I DON'T ANT TO LOOSE YOU MY FRIEND
sonictopfan
5 years, 1 month ago
It hurts me more that you still care for me even though we hardly ever talk and our interests seem to be different, you really are a good person and I will forever respect you, Ashley!
KAIJUfreak
5 years, 1 month ago
I don't hate you! :(
ArcadiaCaptors714
5 years, 1 month ago
^^
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